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The Only Way to Reach Our Goals…… Keep Moving!

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Keep Going Graphic

Don’t Even Look Back!

Why in the world do we often fall prey to the same demons time and time again?! I mean, once we gain a little ground on them, wouldn’t you think we’d never go back?  Don’t reasonable people learn from their mistakes and never make the same one ever again?

They absolutely do!  In Fairy Tales.

The problem is, we’re all predisposed to certain pitfalls of life.  Some people are wired to have outrageous mood swings.  They can be laughing and joking one minute and angrily searching out a confrontation the next.  Others (Who….. Me?) are careless and footloose with money, then stare in wide-eyed wonder at the cobwebs in their piggy bank.

Some people procrastinate, seemingly for a living.  They’re so good at putting things off that it’s a wonder they manage to get anything done.  Their opposites are just as amusing, they are so hyper-busy, I’m convinced that they don’t actually fall asleep at night.  I think their family gets annoyed with them and knocks them out.

The bottom line:   All of the bad traits in the world have multiple owners and we have the title to at least one of them.

I can accept that.  I’ve come to expect my bad traits and habits to make themselves known on a daily basis.  It’s a game we’ve played for many years.  Keeps life interesting, I guess.  But what I absolutely can’t stand is when these traits get the better of me and I trip over them – falling into a pit…  A pit that’s all too familiar to me. I spend money the minute it’s in my hand, then wonder why I don’t have any.

I keep doing the same things I’ve been doing, expecting the outcome to be different this time.  Someone once said that habit was “crazy” and this would be me not exactly disagreeing.

In addition to money, I also struggle with consistency in eating healthy. I will go along, beautifully, for about a week and then… TROUBLE in the form of an order of French fries or a tall glamorous drink from Starbucks filled with calories (come to think of it, Starbucks spells doom for me on both fronts, healthy eating AND spending… uh oh, not a happy realization).

So, it’s back to step #1.  Time to start all over again.

The rest of this short, hopefully encouraging, dissertation will include you in the pit with me so watch for I to become we). Don’t worry… I’ll share my Starbucks with you.

We can’t just expect things to happen in life just because we want them to.  If we aren’t proactively pursuing our goals or personal improvements, we aren’t going to gain on them.  And if we let our guard down for just one second…. we’re done.

I don’t particularly like shining a spotlight on my weaknesses.  After all, it kind of goes against the stereotypical, average blogger, right?  Most people online lead you to believe they’re so close to perfection that you should pay them just to speak to them.  Actually, some are looking for ways to charge you just for saying their name.

They photoshop their lives along with their pictures! Was that mean? I apologize… I get that way when I know my fries and I are about to become strangers.

I’m not interested in coming across as perfect.  I’m interested in one thing – helping people, with my very humble efforts, to find the best in themselves and, thereby, getting the most from life.  Which is why I’m writing this post.  I’m giving you what I wish I’d given myself years ago.

If you have goals you are working toward, stop for a minute and ask yourself if you’re still fighting for what you want or if you’re on the verge of a “break” – take it from me, these breaks will break YOU.  Never stop – heck, don’t even slow down.  If you think you’re doing all you can to reach your goal, dig down and give it more.

If, like me, you’re closer to broke than breaking – keep your chin up. Very often in life, it takes that one final discouragement to get our attention and spur us on to success.  How many people do we read about who find their financial success after bankruptcy?

I did actually recently win a battle that I can’t help being kind of proud of. I had a HUGE obsession with chips (corn chips, Doritos, Cheetos, Funyuns…). I’d keep a bag in the kitchen and pretty much eat from it throughout the day. About a month ago, I decided to make a smart switch and began keeping Cheerios (my favorite is the blueberry variety) on hand to snack on during the day.

I lost 5 pounds!

Wherever you are on the road that leads to your goal, don’t stop chugging along.  In fact, pick up the pace!  If you’ve fallen, get up.  If you’re walking, run.  If you’re running… look out, I’m right behind you.

You’ll know it’s me when you smell the blueberry Cheerios! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to Get Work Done When You Don’t Fell Like Working (at all!)

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Funny Quote About Work
Ever have one of those days when you just flat don’t want to do anything. As in anything at all – unless, of course, lying on the couch watching TVLand counts.

I don’t know about you, but I find that I’ve always got time for and interest in Andy and Barney.

Funny, though, the same can’t always be said for housework, writing, laundry, etc.  Those of us who work from home (in my opinion) have a tougher time than most. Let’s face it, if we don’t feel like working, we simply don’t.

Cue the whistling and tell Andy and Opie to grab their fishing rods.

Of course, people get sick of work whether they work outside of the home or inside of it. Why? Well, most of the time work just isn’t fun… but unfortunately, it has to be done.

A problem most people run into when they don’t feel like working is they wait for the feeling to hit them.  They mutter around, wondering, “Why don’t I feel like doing anything today?” or “What’s wrong with me?”  Those of us who fancy ourselves writers may even resort to the famous self-diagnosis, “I have writers” block!”

Basically, we’re all saying pretty much the same thing, “This is not fun and I don’t want to do it!”

When we turn our attention away from “that which must be done” and point it toward ourselves, we’re actually causing more problems.  In a way, we’re giving ourselves an out….

  • “I’m overwhelmed… I guess I need a break.”
  • “Actually I need another vacation.”
  • “Heck, maybe I need another job.”
  • “I’m so overwhelmed, I’m just going to call it a day.”
  • “All this work CANNOT be good for my health.
  • “Why’d I ever sign on for this?!”

If any of these sound familiar to you, congratulations, you’re human.

The key to getting work D-O-N-E when you don’t feel like D-O-I-N-G it is to.... are you ready for this??… simply DO something – with something being relevant to the task at hand, not watching Andy Griffith, playing Solitaire, or surfing the web. Unless of course someone’s paying you to do these things, in which case, you are my idol.

Truth be told, DOING SOMETHING is actually the answer to just about every problem known to mankind. Rarely does just sitting around, self-analyzing yourself accomplish anything of real value.

The next time you find yourself asking the questions above (you know, the ones with “out” written all over them), silence them with action. Just do something productive – getting something accomplished beats self paralysis by self analysis any day of the week.

My favorite trick for doing this is to simply devote 10 minutes at a whack.

Example: A few days ago, I was in one of those ruts we looked at above. Didn’t want to do any of the 20+ things on my to do list.  I decided to take the first one on the list and promise 10 minutes to it. Anyone can promise 10 minutes to something, right?  The great thing is, once you’ve started, you will finish even if you exceed the 10 minutes.  After I began the task, within 20 minutes it was done and scratching it off of my list was almost as satisfying as a Chai Tea Latte.

Almost.

Take emotion out of the equation when your mind tells you that you “just don’t feel like” doing something that has to be done. When it says, “I don’t feel like doing this,” respond with, “Oh, that’ okay, you don’t have to feel like it to do it…”‘

Then set your timer for 10 minutes and get ‘er done.

~ Joi

Don’t Half-Ass Anything in Life

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Don't Half Ass Anything!
As you may know, I’m a Biggest Loser fanatic.  In fact, I think I’ve probably mentioned the show, it’s contestants, and trainers in a gazillion and three posts.

Now we’ll have to make it a gazillion and four.

On an episode earlier this season, the queen of fitness, Jillian Michaels, was in a contestants face (I SO love it when she gets in faces – priceless).  She was trying to get the contestant to push harder and do more than they thought they could  do.  She told them not to half-ass it.  Then she told them to never half-ass anything in life.

The phrase has stuck with me, glued to my psyche.

Since then, I’ve challenged myself in different areas of my life.  It’s as though an inner Jillian will get in my face, asking me, “Are you half-assing?!?  I know you’re not half-assing, are you, goofball?!”

My inner Jillian’s a name-caller.

Truth be told, I’m afraid that all of us, at one time or another, half-asses whatever it is we’re doing.  Whether we’re pressed for time or pressed for “give a darn,” only half of us shows up for duty. The other half phones  it in and kicks back.  Then we have the audacity to wonder why we aren’t achieving the level of success we’re looking for. Sometimes we think we’re busting our butts for a particular cause when, in all actuality, we’re only busting half our butts.

Half assing, if you will.

This is a short post – especially compared to the epic novelettes I normally write – but it isn’t intended to be a forum for me.  It’s intended to be a thought provoker for anyone and everyone reading it.  Basically I want to sow the seed (the words HALF-ASS)  in the field (your mind) and allow you to harvest something spectacular.  I want the words to encourage and challenge you the way they have me since they first came charging out of Jillian’s mouth.  These words, and the concept behind them, take no prisoners, no excuses, and no b.s.

From here on, when you’re…

  • Working
  • Spending time with a loved one
  • Working out
  • Cleaning the garage
  • Walking the dog
  • Sweeping the floor
  • Cooking a meal
  • Walking on the treadmill
  • Writing a letter
  • Doing a project
  • Studying
  • Learning something new
  • Writing an article
  • Writing a book
  • Building a blog
  • Washing your car
  • Planning a vacation
  • Getting dressed
  • Doing whatever it is you’re doing, whenever it is your doing it!

….. ask yourself, “AM I HALF-ASSING IT?”  Simply challenging yourself with the question, alone, will make you extend your reach.  You’ll work harder, stay longer, go further, and surpass a bar you may not have even reached.  You’ll amaze yourself with what you can accomplish when you put your ALL into it as opposed to just half.

It’s amazing how motivational two little words can be.  There’s magic in half ass… as long as you’re saying it and not doing it.

Give it your all or why even bother?

~ Joi

Mantra From the Monkey Bars

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When our girls were little, they loved going to parks and playgrounds.  It was exhausting just watching them run from one thing to the next.  Naturally, they wanted to make it as challenging as possible on their young, overly protective parents – so they’d each head off in different directions.

Emily’s favorite playground destination was the swings.  Stephany’s was the merry-go-round.  Brittany’s was whichever one she happened to be on at the time.

Stephany, the youngest, always had to do what her big sisters did.  Never mind the fact that she was younger, smaller, and in her mother’s play book, supposed to stay a baby.  When she wasn’t much bigger than a penguin, Steph decided that she wanted to master the monkey bars as beautifully as Emily and Brittany had.

Her little arms could barely even reach, so her daddy and I would hold her up there trying to encourage her to go from rung to rung.

The thing was, she never wanted to let go of the first one.  Emily would stand nearby coaching her, “Steph! You have to let go of THIS one so you can reach out for THAT one.”  Brittany would have echoed the sentiments but she would have had to slow down from warp speed to do so.

Not happening.

Still not happening.

So, we had one little live wire bopping from one thing to the next, a daddy smiling because everything “the baby” did was too cute to believe, one tiny life coach with all the answers (if only little sister would listen) and one mother telling her youngest child, “That’s okay, baby, let’s go sit down.  Big bad playground.”

I’m reasonable like that.

Stephany and her monkey bars actually make a perfect illustration for those of us who are much bigger.  Much older.  We all have certain areas in life where someone could very well yell out to us, “You have to let go of THIS one so you can reach out for THAT one!”

Very often, the secret to success and the key to overcoming life’s setbacks lie in these simple words: Let go and move on.

Some people have trouble moving on from a broken relationship.  This particular refusal to let go and move on drives me all kinds of crazy.  What kind of happiness and joy could they be missing out on?!  If they keep looking back, they just might miss something beautiful right in front of them.  The one person in the world who could make them forget all about the other one might be just around the corner.

What a shame it’d be to miss them!

Some people are guilty of doing what I call an Emotional Return to the Scene of the Crime. Something bad happened to them (loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, loss of a dream house, loss of a job, financial catastrophe, business failure….) but instead of letting go and moving on, they sort of keep one hand on the rung in the past.

Some people hold on so tightly and for so long it’s a wonder their hand doesn’t fuse to the symbolic rung.

As long as you hold on to something behind you, you aren’t completely free to reach out to what’s in front of you.  I’m all for putting up a good fight and I’m all about perseverance but, let’s be honest, sometimes it’s time to just let go.

If you can think of anything you’ve been clinging to that you know – in your heart of hearts – is holding you back, please consider declaring your freedom from it today.  Let go. Move on.  Be free.

“You have to let go of THIS one so you can reach out for THAT one!”

Motivation from the Mayor of Bowling Green, Kentucky

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Once my husband and I were flat out in the middle of nowhere – in beautiful rural Kentucky.  We were somewhere between home (Owensboro, Kentucky) and our home away from home (Land Between the Lakes and Kentucky Lake).  All of a sudden, the car was filled with a heavenly aroma – easily identified to a citizen of Owensboro… Barbecue.  Just as I was wondering if my husband caught a whiff of the same amazing smell, he promptly turned the car around and we went back for a sandwich!

It was beyond spectacular and we have, most definitely, been back.  After all, we know where it is:  Three and a half miles past the end of the earth.

I got such a kick out of finding such a Heavenly, family-owned barbecue joint in such an unexpected place.

That sort of thing happens a lot with motivation and inspiration.  I suppose it’s more prominent if you spend the majority of your time thinking and writing about such things, as I do – but I’m confronted with motivation and inspiration every single day and in the most unexpected places.

A few examples:

  • In our neck of the woods, we had a horrific ice storm earlier this year.  People in our beautiful state were without electricity for days and even weeks.   Trees, grass, fences, vehicles, and everything else that didn’t move were encased in ice.  It was gorgeous right up until everything went (and stayed) dark and cold.  When spring finally came to Kentucky, I walked around our yard celebrating its arrival.  I love trees almost as much as I do animals, and I was really worried about the 20-plus trees in our yard.  There was something so profoundly beautiful and touching about what I saw:  Little buds springing forth from the most weathered, crooked and beaten limbs imaginable.  Somehow, even after taking the beating of their life, the trees had found the will to keep fighting.  Sure enough, they were green and gorgeous all spring and summer.  In fact, it seems to me that our apple and pear trees gave more fruit that ever as they celebrated being alive.  Survival makes you stronger, whether you’re a tree or a human being.
  • More recently, as I headed to one of these fruit trees to grab a healthy nibble after a 45 minute walk, I noticed from a distance an unsightly heap of rotten pears at the base of the beautiful pear tree.  For an instant, I thought about getting a rake and heaving the nastiness elsewhere.  However, as I got closer, the unsightly view became one of the most spectacular things I’ve ever seen.  There were hundreds of the most vividly beautiful and amazing butterflies imaginable enjoying what, to me, had been an eyesore.  No artist on earth could have created the beauty that was buzzing around those fallen pears.  One of my cats (Hannah) and I literally sat on the ground and watched in wonder. There were some colors on these butterflies that I’m not sure even have names!  I may have mentioned this before on Self Help Daily – whenever I see a butterfly, my mind thinks, “Somewhere a miracle is happening.”  That thought stream simply added to the wonder.  The most beautiful moments in life are often where we least expect them. That’s why it pays to always keep looking up and looking forward!

Motivation from the Mayor Of Bowling Green, Kentucky

One of my blogs is a Kentucky blog (Genuine Kentucky), so I often receive news alerts as well as personal “Check this out!” messages from around the state.  Recently I followed one of these links, prepared to run the story on Genuine Kentucky.  However, halfway through the story, I knew I’d be coming here first.

The story was titled, “Stimulate Yourself.”  It’s about small and mid-size towns in Kentucky finding ways to cope with our challenging economic times.  The author of the article tells how he has met with various mayors and city officials around the state to discuss the economy as well as President Obama’s stimulus package.  The mayors and city officials each told the author that they haven’t really seen any change.

Bowling Green, Kentucky’s Mayor, Elaine Walker is quoted as saying, “We didn’t see much of anything.  The money went to the state and was siphoned off by them. We got about zero from it.”

However, Mayor Walker was not overly upset about the lack of federal assistance for Bowling Green. Instead, the self-described supporter of President Obama (in a part of the country that mostly supported McCain) seems, as the article words it,  more disposed to taking matters into her own hands. Rather than waiting for Obama, Bowling Green is looking to stimulate itself…

The mayor didn’t sing a sad song, she was too busy making, and carrying out, plans.  She didn’t have a finger free to point at anyone – all 10 were busy working.  If you think about it, if someone has a finger free to point at someone – doesn’t that indicate that it isn’t in use?  Idle hands and idle minds are the devil’s workshop – mark it down, nothing good ever comes from either.

The article then goes on to detail what Mayor Walker has in mind – how she plans to stimulate Bowling Green’s economy, diversify, and boost small local businesses.

Whether it’s on an individual, family, city, or state level – those who will survive and dare to prosper are those who will put on their boots and march… even if it is uphill. The survivors will be the ones who’s hands are too busy to stop long enough to point fingers -whether their toward President Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush or the Middle East.  It’ll be  the individuals who, like my own husband, look for creative approaches to saving money and making more.  The people who are up to the challenge and who, on a most unusual level, welcome the underdog status!  They’re like, “I’ll show you down and out!”

Think about it:  If a flood came to your town, what would you do?  Would you stand still as the water rose – looking for who you can pin the blame on?  Would you rant and rave about politicians and policies? Would you keep shaking your fist at Iraq?  Would you debate where the water came from?  Would you stand around waiting for someone to save you when you were perfectly capable of saving yourself?

Not unless you were a complete and perfect moron.

Don’t wait for anyone else to save you.  Be your own hero.