Self Help Daily

Christian Book Reviews, Self Improvement, Positivity

You are here: Home / Archives for Self Help / Relationships

Relationships

The – Almost – Lost Art of Greeting Cards: A History of Sentimentality 

by Leave a Comment

Stay in Contact with Loved Ones with Greeting Cards

 

At one time, greeting cards were commonplace; they were a great way to communicate with acquaintances, friends and family and let them know that you are thinking of them for whatever reason. Nowadays, the use of greeting cards seems to be on the decline, which is a shame. In order to understand this custom and the importance that it holds, you need to go back to the start. Read on to learn more about the history of greeting cards. 

The Origins

In truth, the origin of greeting cards as they appear today is difficult to pinpoint. This is because passing written sentiments to one another can be traced back to the invention of writing. Archaeologists have discovered clay tablets dating back to the Sumerian culture sometime between 3000 and 2000 BC, with what is thought to be words of greeting inscribed upon them. 

There is also similar evidence of well-wishing in ancient Egypt and bronze-age China. The personalized messages were sent with the intention of imparting good luck upon the recipient for the new year and warding off evil spirits. This tradition is still an important part of the Chinese New Year celebrations. 

In Egypt, on the other hand, there further evidence of personalization’s in these greetings. There are named individuals sending their well wishes to other named individuals. However, in contrast to the Chinese tradition, these well wishes do not appear to be designed to ward off evil but simply celebrate the new year. 

The Invention of Paper

Paper was invented around 100 AD in China, and it became the medium of choice for personalized messages as its use travelled along the Silk Road to other cultures. Its use around the New Year continued. This is because, in western cultures, it was used to offer well wishes and good luck for the upcoming harvest year. 

Presents sometimes accompanied the paper in the form of wood carvings or other small handmade trinkets. It was only really around the 14th century in Germany when the first iterations of what society today would recognize as greeting cards were found; they were still solely for the new year. However, at this time, they were reserved almost exclusively for upper classes thanks to their price. 

Greeting Cards & National Holidays

It was then during the 15th century that greeting cards began to diversify. Instead of being limited to well wishes for the new year, they began to be exchanged for other reasons and during other periods. One of the first being the celebration of the feast of St. Valentine. In fact, one of the cards given during this period is considered the oldest Valentine’s love letter written; it was from a woman named Margery Brews to her fiancé in the year 1477.

Despite the fact that greeting cards were diversifying in their purpose and occasion, they were still rather inaccessible to the layperson because of their expense. They were created in low numbers to accommodate this, not like the mass production of greeting cards seen today. They only began to see a rise in their numbers during the mid-19th century. This is simply because the process was mechanized, which made it easier to produce large numbers of greeting cards. 

The mass production of greeting cards came at just the right time. During the same period, postal routes were improved, and postal rates became more affordable, which helped to make the whole sending greeting cards thing more accessible to all members of society. They also continued to vary their use, with cards being produced for a number of occasions. 

The cards themselves also seemed to become more and more elaborately decorated too. Designers were hired to create artwork specifically for the greeting cards. The cards mostly focused on Christmas and the New Year, although Valentine’s cards were still popular too. A lot of greeting card companies began to invest more in the design of their cards. By the 1870s, however, greeting cards encompassed all of the classic holidays that they do today. 

Greetings Cards Today

Between then and now, there has been very little evolution in the industry. There are now more cards than ever that can be sent for any number of reasons, but the buying and sending process remains largely unchanged. One of the biggest greeting card companies in the world was formed in 1910 in Kansas City, America. 

Hallmark today is synonymous with holidays like Christmas. The business prides itself on being wholesome and family-orientated, and thanks to its success, they have diversified beyond greetings cards, having their own television channel and creating movies and generating other content and products. 

However, in recent years, the purchase of greetings cards from traditional retailers has seen a steady decline. The younger generations today seem to be far less interested in sending greeting cards in the traditional manner; the question is, why? Do the younger generations not have the same soft spot for sentimentality?

Truthfully, the rise of the digital era has a lot to answer for in terms of the traditional approach to greeting cards declining. Firstly, social media and mobile phones have meant that you can get in contact with a person directly to deliver your well wishes as opposed to the past when letter writing was the primary form of communication. Today you can reach out directly, which somewhat negates the need for greetings cards. 

There are obviously still young people today who enjoy the sentimentality of sending cards and respect the tradition. However, they don’t tend to approach it in the same way. There are a number of companies today that allow you to choose a card design and fully customize it to your specifications. The company then also sends out the card on your behalf. 

This is perhaps the biggest difference; people today are sending cards without ever having had them in their physical possession first. Cards today are often sent via these companies that act like a proxy. Some people could be under the impression that this adds extra unnecessary steps. But this isn’t the case. 

Ordering, writing out and sending a card online can be done in just a few steps. The convenience is unparalleled. These sites also offer help and advice too. For example, Greenvelope can be used to send the cards themselves, but they also have a number of resources, including tips on what you should write whether you are sending a speedy recovery card, a condolence card or whatever the occasion may be.

Lastly, in addition to being able to send physical cards via the internet, there has also been a rise in the use of e-cards. These cards exist solely in the digital landscape. They can be sent via email or other digital platforms. They were preferred for a while, but they can feel a little more impersonal, and they don’t allow for keepsakes, either.

In Conclusion

Expressing well wishes and giving greetings to friends and family has always been done in one form or another; originally, it was passed along verbally. Then with the invention of writing, it was done this way, regardless of whether you believe that expressing well wishes can help to ward off evil spirits or you simply want to express a sentiment. A greeting card can be an excellent way to do it. The tradition continues to endure; it is simply done in a different way.

The Benefit of Pets… To Many to Even Count!

by Leave a Comment

Quote About the Benefit of Pets

Quote About the Benefit of Pets!

During the pandemic, I’ve noticed many changes in people’s lives and in the way they look at life in general. One thing seems to be a return to the love of and focus on HOME. As I often say, this is actually one of the rare beautiful things that has come out of what is overall a complete nightmare. More people have realized the importance of making their home as beautiful, comfortable, and enjoyable as possible.

Basically, everyone has refocused their attention to making home a place they want to be.

If I can make a confessions, this has always been at the core of who I am simply because I am quite the home body! It is, however, interesting to see more people searching for ways to make their home a more fun, comfortable, and happy place to be.

I’ve also noticed more people seeking out companionship – possibly more than ever before. I think there are several reasons for this:

  • During bad times, we are reminded that family (which pets most certainly are, in addition to humans!) is absolutely everything. Not possessions, not appearance, not money… they’re fine and good, of course, but the ones who make us smile and FEEL the most are the ones who breathe.
  • Some people are feeling more lonely than ever. Tragically, many people lost loved ones during the past few years, but there’s another (nearly as tragic) phenomenon… many have lost friends and relationships due to the insanely frustrating division that have occurred the past few years.
  • People are socializing less and, again, spending more time at home. The amazing (and I think wonderful) thing is, not all of them are home more often because they think it’s healthier… many are home more often because they realize it’s a happier place to be!

This is where pets can can come in like the little superheroes they are. I have had pets all of my life and cannot imagine a home without them. My only experience with “coming home’ to a place where at least one pet doesn’t meet me at the door has been hotels and, quite frankly, it’s a cold feeling when you’re accustomed to warm greetings!

While I caution that one should always be completely certain they have the time, energy, and affection for adding a furry member to their family… (more about that in a minute) I simply couldn’t recommend it more. Their love and companionship are immeasurable and the entertainment they provide is greater than any movie (even westerns!).

Before adding a cat or dog, please consider:

  • Pets are completely dependent upon you. You have to have time and patience and be willing to feed them, clean up after them, and potty train them… basically they’re babies covered in fur!
  • Realize that things like dog or cat food, litter boxes, litter, vet visits, immunizations, and toys (animals love toys as much as human kids) will require an increase to your spending. Trust me, they give back FAR more than they take.
  • Make sure you have the space required and can provide them with a safe and happy environment.
  • Make your mind up to provide for them (find a loving home) IF things don’t work out. PLEASE never turn a cat or dog loose to fend for themselves. It’s a cruel thing to do – and an animal shelter isn’t much better. IF things don’t work out for whatever reasons and you’ve given it a few weeks, find a loving home by asking around and even putting notifications on Facebook, in local veterinarian offices, etc.

More times than not (MANY more times than not), when you give a precious animal a forever home and forever family… you find yourself asking, “Okay. Who rescued who, here?!”

I hope you consider adopting a cat (or two!) or dog (or two!) from your local animal shelter. You won’t only be adding to your family with a face you’ll wonder how you ever lived without… you’ll be literally saving a life (or two!).

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Tulip and Huck

Two of my babies!

Thoughts from 1917 Time Travel to Teach us Today

by 1 Comment

Kleiser Quote

For research and quotes for this very self help blog, I often look at rare, out-of-print books in the public domain. Occasionally one will have a timelessness about it, allowing it to be given new life and a second chance to enlighten and entertain a whole new generation of readers. For book lovers, like myself, this is too exciting to even describe. Books that never die, after all, are the best kind of books and I get a natural high in allowing them to breathe again.

Nine times out of ten, however, they’re simply too out-dated in their terminology, approach, and/or overall message.  However, there’ll often be a passage (sometimes even a whole chapter!) that I’ll use on Self Help Daily.  This allows the author to sort of “Time Travel” into our modern day and find a whole new audience.

Very cool, I think.

Today’s Time-Traveler is one of my VERY favorite authors:  Grenville Kleiser.  Even before I had books as business partners, I collected them for my own personal use.  Mr. Kleiser had his own personal shelf – he still has it….great property, too – a Penthouse shelf.  Thanks to by husband’s ebay skills, I nearly have every word Grenville Kleiser ever wrote.

Also very cool.

In a book published in 1917, INSPIRATION AND IDEALS, Grenville Kleiser wrote an inspirational entry for each day of the year.  Kind of a dated blog in a book.  But he was so much better about being concise and to the point than I could ever hope to be.  I tend to ramble like an 85 year old substitute teacher with purple hair, coffee breath, and sensible shoes.

I was enjoying a reread of this book earlier, picking out quotes for the Quote Collection like they were grapes on a vine.  One of the entries was so perfectly perfect and so brilliantly brilliant that I knew what it had in mind:  It wanted to come back to life in a blog post.

So without further delay…or rambling (See?!  See?!?! Merrily rambling away!), here is the entry as it appeared in 1917.

“To be strong and true;  to be generous in praise and appreciation of others; to impute worthy motives even to enemies; to give without expectation of return; to practice humility, tolerance, and self-restraint; to make the best use of time and opportunity; to keep the mind pure and the judgment charitable; to extend intelligent sympathy to those in distress; to cultivate quietness and non-resistance; to speak little and listen much; to adhere always to a high standard of thought, purpose, and conduct; to grow in grace, goodness, and gratitude;  to seek truth and righteousness; to work, love, pray, and serve daily; to aspire greatly, labor cheerfully, and take God at His word – this is to travel Heavenward.”

Some things really are timeless.

Nine Secrets Happy People Know – Part TWO

by 3 Comments

Choose Happiness

Continued from Nine Secrets Happy People Know – Part ONE

4.  Happy People Know You Can’t Let Other People’s Lives Direct Their Own.  A director pretty much dictates how a play is going to happen.  He, or she, tells people where to stand, when to walk, how to feel, etc.  The director will tell the other people involved in the play when they’re “getting it right” as well as when they’re “getting it wrong!”

They call the shots.

An actor or member of the crew expects it and doesn’t question the director’s right to pull power trips – after all, it’s what they’re there for.  It’s all part of the system.

However, this sort of thing most definitely isn’t part of the system when you aren’t on a stage or in front of a camera.  Each individual IS their own director in their own life.  No one else gets to tell us how we should feel or how we should react.

People are happiest when they are allowed to be their own person, not who someone else expects them to be. 

Happy people, at some point in their life came to terms with who THEY are.  What’s more, they made up their mind to be that person no matter who was around and regardless of what others think.

The individual who thinks they have to be a chameleon and change how they act, talk, or even think, depending upon who they’re around, is not a happy person.  If they were happy and content, they’d wear themselves all the time and never take themselves off.

If you ever find yourself altering who you are as a person around certain people,  ask the following question, “Why am I afraid to be me around_____?”   If it’s a fear of ridicule, the next question could very well be,  “Why AM I around this person in the first place?!”

When I was in high school, I recall that it was a very “in” thing for girls to act ditzy and dumb.  I’d watch with my jaw on the ground as some of my friends would go from talking intelligently about class assignments (from Shakespeare to Spanish)  to blanking out when a boy joined the group.  Some boys would laugh and, I suppose, think the dumb act was cute?  Others would look almost frightened and take off in search of higher ground.  These boys? They were the ones who’d been worth chasing.  The ones who enjoyed the show… not so much.

When I first started going out with my husband, I was pretty nervous at first.  I liked him more than anyone I’d ever met and hoped with every ounce of my being that we’d hit it off.  I could tell he was really smart right off the bat.  I remember my mind running around in circles thinking, “If he’s smart, would he prefer an airhead or would he like the fact that, unlike the Scarecrow, I happen to have a brain?”  My mind was busy mulling over the ins and outs of that subject for the first 30 minutes of the first date.  Then, I noticed something kind of unique.  He kept asking questions – kind of like little “tests.”  Looking back, I don’t know… maybe he was testing the depths of the water.

Since I actually liked who I was and felt proud of any knowledge that I had, I went with being myself.  So when this kid with the prettiest blue eyes I’d ever seen brought up the subject of mental telepathy, I jumped right in.  When he fired random questions about random subjects, I fired the answers back – whether it was about the lead singer of Van Halen or what I’d do if I possessed telepathic powers, if I knew it…..I said it.

We’ve been happily married for well over 20 years now and one of the things that has kept the marriage the happiest is that I allow (and encourage) him to be him and he allows (and encourages) me to be me.  There’s a total and complete freedom and relaxation in knowing that you can just be you.

People who have to try to “measure up,”  “fit in,”  or “put on an act”  don’t have time to be happy – they’re too busy trying to act.  If you have anyone in your life who has this effect on you, do yourself a huge favor and set things right.  If you suspect that you AFFECT someone else in this way, do everyone a favor and set things right.

We should always accept people as they are – whether it’s yourself or someone else.

Be happy.  Be yourself.

There’s actually a flip side to this, too. Happy people ALLOW others to be who they are without trying to make them fit into a particular mold they’ve chosen.

I am, thanks be to God, a naturally happy person. I believe that, to a certain degree, I was simply born this way. My dad had happy in his dna and I inherited it from him. He loved to laugh more than anything… I love to laugh more than anything. He didn’t judge people… I don’t judge people. He looked for reasons to be happy… I look for reasons to be happy.

However, a lot of happiness has to do with a choice you make every single day. You much CHOOSE to be happy and CHOOSE not to allow anyone else to trip you up.

Here’s an example. Picture two women (both, for the most part, happy) at work one day. A co-worker does something completely illogical but our two happy women react and respond differently.

  • The first woman registers what has happened and kind of whispers in her head, “That was like something straight out of a sitcom… glad it wasn’t me!” She then goes on about her day, leaving what happened behind.
  • The second woman registers what the co-worker did and becomes irate (in spite of the fact it had nothing to do with her!). She rails to anyone within earshot about how “dumb” the co-worker is… how she would NEVER have done such a thing, etc. Her mood is completely sour for the rest of the day! She takes it to the store with her, then is cross with an employee. She takes it home with her and bites her spouse’s head off for no reason. She has take a load that wasn’t even hers to carry and burdened herself with it AND hit at least two people over the head with it.

Learning to let things go before you look like a perfect fool carrying them around hitting people is a big secret to your own happiness as well as everyone in your path’s!

Also See:
Secrets of Happy People Part 1


Nine Secrets Happy People Know – Part ONE

by 2 Comments

Quote About Happiness

You know the old joke about the weather, right?  Everyone talks about it but no one ever does anything about it.  In the area of Self Help, our “weather” is definitely happiness.  Everyone has it on their mind, and it comes up frequently in conversation.  People want to talk about it, and they most definitely want to possess it, but when it comes to doing anything about it….. they kind of fade into the background.  The reason might be that they just don’t know HOW to be happy.

I lean toward the belief that, as Abraham Lincoln said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  That, of course, doesn’t include people who find themselves in the middle of grief, clinical depression or anxiety, or a physical or mental illness. Depression and anxiety can be serious illnesses that require a doctor’s care and no amount of positive affirmations or “How to Be Happy” articles will cure these issues any more than they would diabetes.

If only that were possible, I’d do all I could to close down hospitals everywhere!

This series of “Secrets Happy People Know” is for the rest of us.

So, Who Are These Happy People and What Can You Learn from Them?

Think about the people in your world.  Some are happier than others, right? Some are so happy, being around them is about like watching an episode of Andy Griffith.  Even when circumstances are foul, they’re generally light-spirited and smiling – maybe even joking around.  The good news is that they aren’t superhuman, so what happy people “have” is available for everyone.  Basically, there are nine secrets that happy people have stitched into the fabric of their lives, probably without even realizing that they’ve done so.  Three are below, the other six will be hot on their heels in the next article in the series.

  1. Happy people know, understand, and even embrace the fact that life isn’t perfect.  They stopped expecting their days to sail by without any turbulence long ago.  They’ve simply adapted their thinking and reactions to “ride” the waves rather than fighting against them.   By contrast, unhappy people think that every turbulence, every bump, every misstep is a catastrophic event.  It “wouldn’t” happen to other people – only to them.  They think God has allowed this injustice and they, quite frankly, resent it very much.  Even little events can snap the smile off of an unhappy person’s day – their balloon will burst just as easily over a slow internet connection as it would a flat tire.  When bad things happen (which they tend to do… it is life, after all), someone who is generally happy simply deals with it.  No panic, no melt downs, no throwing blame around or raising their voice.  Oh the drama – So exhausting!  Granted, the smile will disappear as they get down to business, but it’ll return right after they’ve put everything back together again.  Happy people know they can’t control life, but they CAN control the way they respond to life.
  2. Happy people don’t live in the past.  Some people feel unhappy simply because they won’t leave the past in the past.  Happy people know that, for better or worse, the past is gone – living there, or even visiting too frequently, is a waste of time and energy. Some things have to be LET GO.  You have to tell yourself – out loud even – “I’m letting this go before it proves to be my undoing.”  Happy people live in the present and realize that it can be a beautiful place if you accept it for what it is.
  3. Although it may seem ironic, happy people are the best fighters in the world.  If you think of the happiest person you know, the word “fighter” may not come to mind immediately.  After all, don’t we picture fighters as angry, determined, even mean?  In the boxing ring, sure – but think about outside the ring.  If someone is hit hard by one of life’s punches, and they refuse to go (or stay) down, how’d they find their feet?  They fought for them, and they fought hard. The harder the punch, the harder it is to stand back up… but it’s so worth the fight!  Unhappy people are actually weaker.  Usually they gave up long ago and got somewhat comfortable on the mat.  Sometimes their fights have been harder and sometimes life has called on them to fight more often.  It takes uncommon strength to find your legs when life has pummeled you to the ground, but find them you must. Your happiness depends on it.

What some people don’t realize is that happy people feel the same pains the rest of the world does.  If a happy person loses their dream home, for example, they most definitely register the pain.  They cry the tears.  They feel the loss.  BUT they don’t let the situation win.  They stand back up, dry their eyes, and look ahead to the great things that lie in the future.  An unhappy person would use an experience like this as a crutch – a crutch that will only lead them to one of two places:  Anger or Bitterness.  Neither place is worth visiting, let alone moving into.

If you’re generally, by nature, a “happy person,” give a big sigh of relief because you’ve learned one of the most important lessons in life.  If you’re an “unhappy person,” give a big sigh of relief because you don’t have to stay that way.

Unless, of course, you want to.

I didn’t think so! Watch for this series to continue as we uncover more secrets to happiness!