Unless you’re one of the chosen ones, you wouldn’t mind shedding a bit of butter below your belly.

If you’re one of the chosen ones, you can stop reading and go have a cookie.

According to an article titled Whole Grains Fight Belly Fat on WebMD.com, we should all start paying more attention to what we put into our grocery carts.  Not only could a diet that’s rich in whole grains shrink our “Chicken Graveyards,” it could lower our risk of heart disease.

Kind of a win-win situation, right?

The problem is when most people hear the words whole grains, they think of dry bread and cereal that tasteds like sticks.   Thankfully that’s not always the case.  The following foods are great sources of whole grains and satisy the pickiest taste buds:

• Oatmeal - We should all be eating more oatmeal, anyway. Stir in nuts, fruit, honey - whatever it takes to make your taste buds sing.
• Popcorn - Next to zero calories, as long as you don’t go butter happy (Guilty, guilty, guilty) or salt slappy (Guiltier, guiltier, guiltier.) What makes this such a danger zone for me is that, not only do I not shy away from salt and butter, I always put M&M’s in my popcorn. Try it, you’ll get hooked! - But I didn’t just say that, this is a health-conscious post, right?
• Brown Rice - I won’t lie, it’s not that easy to go from white rice to brown rice. It has a completely different personaility, and it won’t win any Miss Congeniality awards with it. But you can outsmart it’s disposition and actually make it delicious. I cook it in chicken broth, rather than water. This gives it a much better flavor. When I have them on hand, I stir chopped almonds into the brown rice. Works wonders.
• Baked Tortilla Chips - I’ve started getting these instead of potato chips and no one in my family seems to have noticed.  I try to keep some homemade salsa, pico de gallo, or guacamole on stand by.

Read the very informative Whole Grains Fight Belly Fat article by clicking the link.

Don’t you ever wish you could force some people to just RELAX?  Primarily for their own good, of course, but for your’s as well since, frankly, they wear you out with all their fretting.

I’m lucky, because most of the time the people and pets in my household are, emotionally, mentally, and physically as relaxed as the kitten above. 

Life will throw us a curve ball every now and then and we don’t resemble the chilled cat one little bit.  Curve balls like poison ivy, my Dodge seeing what fresh hell it can come up with, illnesses, business kinks, my Starbucks closing before I needed it to, etc.

With the medical evidence pointing to the effect stress plays on our heart health, you’d think that we’d all find a way to relax more often.  It’s not JUST our relationships that depend upon it, our very life does as well.

The problem is, we’re all trying to do too much these days.  Everyone’s trying to make all the money they can while they can.  The rat race is causing me to think we’d all be better off if we returned to a simpler way of life - you know, the one lived beneath our means rather than at it or above it.  

I saw a man in Kroger today talking on the cellphone a mile a minute and bumping into anyone who dared to get in his busy, flusterd way.  A cutie patootie of a lady (80ish, not more than 4′ 3″, with her hair all done up and wearing a very nice red rain jacket) walked past him and, loudly, told her grandson, “There’s a heart attack waiting to happen.”  The boy AND the man both smiled and nodded.

When I left, I thought  about several things:  How sweet the lady’s grandson was being with her, how cute she was, and how much I missed my mom and mother in law (they were real pips themselves!).  I also wondered where she got the hot rain jacket!

Mostly, I wondered if overhearing her would make the human commotion slow down any.  I wondered if he’d go home and put the phone down long enough to tell his wife about the hilarious little woman who called him out on the floor.  As someone who genuinely loves everyone, I very much hope that her words will lodge somewhere in his mind and cause him to heed the warning life just granted him.

Take a Personal Inventory

To get an idea of how much relaxation you’re allowing into your life, ask yourself the following question:

Do little things seem to set me off?
Things like unfortunate stop lights, people who pull out in front of you, a restaurant messing up your order, your son’s girlfriend’s piercings, your son’s piercings, and so on are simply NOT worth the energy most people spend on them.

I’m sure you’ve seen people in restaurants pitching little tantrums because their order isn’t right. Not worth it. My daughter Brittany works in a department store in the mall. She tells me that I wouldn’t believe how angry people get when they have to leave the store at closing time. They make three announcements before locking the doors, then the workers walk around making sure everyone has left. When they find stragglers and politely tell them that the doors are about to be locked, she says they always bite the worker’s heads off. Heaven forbid the workers actually want to go home!

One evening, 10 minutes past the store’s closing time, she was walking around with a 17 year old male cashier. The young man told a lady (who didn’t have any bags OR merchandise) in her hands that the main door had been locked already, but that he could help her out a side door. The woman yelled at him and calle him a “fat b******!”

Because he offered to help her to a side door. 10 minutes past the time she should have been long gone.

She was obviously someone who, besides not having any class whatsoever, had no idea how to live a relaxed life. She’s one of the millions of people who keep allowing themselves to get more and more tightly wrapped, until the day comes that they make an utter fool out of themselves and make someone else pay for it.

If small things tend to bother you more than you know they should, you need to start TODAY learning how to relax.

A Few Suggestions:

 
1. It may sound ridiculous, but just realizing that you need to relax will help you more than anything. If you were overly-wrapped like our sweetheart in the department store and thought the problem was everyone else, then I wouldn’t hold out much hope for you. But if you can honestly say, “I need to relax more!” - You’re on your way. The thing is, you need to remind yourself to relax every single day. Some days, it may take a couple dozen reminders.

Put something in a prominent place - a sticker, stuffed animal, picture of a loved one, etc. Basically something that makes you smile. Every time you look at it, let it serve as a reminder to slow down and enjoy the moment. I have a stuffed polar bear on my desk that makes me smile whenever I look at him. (A while back we had a problem with hackers on several of our sites and I got to the point I seldom took my eyes off of him!)

Stop demanding so much from life and just enjoy it.

2. Take about a dozen really deep breaths. I’m not sure why this helps to signal relaxation to our bodies, but it does. Unfortunately, most of us take rapid, shallow breaths. This type of breathing makes the rest of the body think we’re in a battle of some sort. Slowing our breathing down signals to it that all’s well.

3. If you’re going through a stressful time, or if you feel overwhelmed at work, drink more water. This is something else we don’t do enough of. Our bodyrequires more water than we provide, and when we shortchange it, we suffer: Physically, emotionally, and mentally.

4. Make sure you’re getting enough rest. I don’t require a lot of sleep - I never have. (Some would say it’s because I seldom exert enough energy to have to recover from…and I couldn’t really argue the point.) However, when I go a few days with less sleep than my body wants, I sure FEEL it. Some people get cranky when they don’t get enough rest, I get weepy. I’ve been battling (and losing to) poison oak for a few weeks and sleep has been scarce. I realized it had taken it’s toll this morning when a picture of a baby monkey made me teary eyed!

I took a nap.

5. Again, keep things in perspective. We blow so many things up that should be allowed to stay the tiny, insignificant little things they are. Sometimes it helps if you put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When the server doesn’t refill your drink as often as you want her/him to - imagine working on your feet 8 hours, earning very little pay, and (most frightening of all) having to deal with the public all day. Maybe it’ll make you smile and ask for another drink rather than stew and mentally deduct from the tip.

For your own health and happiness, as well as those around you - start practicing relaxation tactics immediately. Become an expert at catching yourself as soon as tension begins to build. Tell yourself, out loud, “This isn’t a big deal.” When we focus and focus on situations, we make them so big that they become like huge ogres in the car or room with us. But if we simply say, “Not worth it,” they suddenly shrink.

Relax! You’ll soon find yourself enjoying life a lot more. Life is for living and we should savor every moment. It’s a beautiful world if you’ll let it be.

I have always, always loved graciousness. I think it’s one of the most beautiful traits a person can have. By the same token, one of the ugliest traits one can call their very own is ungraciousness - the attitude that NO ONE ever does enough for them and that what they do manage to do is…well, owed to them, somehow.

When I’ve written a positive book review and the author takes the time to e-mail me or leave a comment on the blog, I mark them down as an author I will forever seek out. Graciousness is often a symptom of having a great deal of class.

A few months ago, I wrote a review for a kitchen gadget on my Recipe Blog. They sent me a Starbucks gift card in a thank you card. They earned my love and lifetime devotion with that gesture. Quite frankly, I am just as touched by a “Thanks!” as anything, though. Yes, even Starbucks bucks.

I started thinking more about graciousness this weekend while reading a “Reader’s Choice Awards 2008″ section in a paper from a nearby city. It struck me as quite an honor to have the citizens of your community award you the distinciton as being the “best.” Can you imagine? How cool! If I were a business owner, and were given that highest of honors, I would be bursting with so much love and gratitude, I’d come up with a special offer or gift - you know, something to give a hug back.

I started looking at the ads throughout the magazine-style section. There were 121 of them. Each, of course, said something like THANK YOU! and THANK YOU FOR VOTING US BEST FOR 5 YEARS IN A ROW!, etc. However, I was shocked to see that only 10 even offered some sort of a coupon or discount as a gesture of their gratitude. 10 out of 121. Wow. Most seemed to just give off the vibe of, “Of course you voted us the best - we ARE the best!”

The one - literally one - that stood out in the crowd was a Children’s Boutique that offered a free gift when their ad was brought into their store. It wasn’t even a “with purchase” type of thing. The owner (a lady with an understanding of graciousness) just wanted to hug back.

I hope she doesn’t feel lonely up there at the top.

Below are some of my favorite quotes about graciousness:

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” - J.B. Massieu

“Swift gratitude is the sweetest.” - Greek Proverb

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” - G.B. Stern

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” - William Arthur Ward

“Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that thankfulness is indeed a virtue.” - William J. Bennett

“Realize that when you get older, you either get senile or become gracious. There’s no in-between. You become senile when you think the world short-changed you, or everybody wakes up to screw you. You become gracious when you realize that you have something the world needs, and people are happy to see you when you come into the room.” - Carlos Santana

I’ve decided to act upon one of my New Year’s Resolutions: To learn to play the piano. If you think September is long removed from New Year’s Day, you might want to brace yourself. I’m talking about 1998!

What? I’ve been busy.

Anyway, I was doing a little online research. I’m floored at all the information, tutorials, demos, etc. Yes, there’s hope for me. One of the best sites I found was Hear and Play. It’s an amazing site so, if you have any musical New Year’s Resolutions you want to dust off and look at, this is a site you’ll want to bookmark.

The reason I’m writing this post is actually because of a great quote that I found on the site:

“Always will I strive to be greater than I am. I must SURPASS MYSELF. In each successive act, test, encounter, thought, I will BE GREATER than in the one previous. I am what I am now; but in an hour I must be more than I am now. In everything must I exert MORE POWER TO SURPASS MYSELF.”

Here I am, visiting the site for help distinguishing my F’s from my E’s and my C’s from my B’s, and I get a great dose of motivation. It was timely for more reasons than one. It’s obviously a great affirmation for everything in life - from relationships to business. It can be applied liberally anywhere you want to apply it. For me, it helped to quiet the little voices in the background who were whispering, “You can’t learn to play the piano, you have the attention span of a gnat…”

Sure, they have a point, but, I’m going to try anyway.

The quote moved me and I thought it might do the same for you!

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. - Henry L. Doherty

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. - Chinese Proverb

I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday. - Abraham Lincoln

No matter how one may think himself accomplished, when he sets out to learn a new language, science, or the bicycle, he has entered a new realm as truly as if he were a child newly born into the world. - Frances Willard

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. - Henry Ford

We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself. - Lloyd Alexander

“Back to School” is, I think, an exciting time. Kids of all ages set out to learn new things - things that’ll open up new worlds to them. If that’s not exciting, nothing is. Equally exciting is the fact that we can embark on the same sort of quest for knowledge. And we never have to leave the comfort of our own home to do so! Click HERE for ideas on stretching yourself, mentally.

Always a stretch worth taking, right?

If you’re one of Ragweed’s chosen ones, you may be about as miserable right about now as I am with my Poison Oak. Don’t you just hate it when Mother Nature throws curveballs?  I honestly believe I’ll smell like Calamine for the rest of my life.

Ragweed Allergies

Of Americans who are allergic to pollen-producing plants, 75 percent are allergic to ragweed. People with allergies to one type of pollen tend to develop allergies to other pollens as well.
People with ragweed allergy may also get symptoms when they eat cantaloupe and banana. Chamomile tea, sunflower seeds and honey containing pollen from Compositae family members occasionally cause severe reactions, including shock. - Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America

Ragweed Allergy symptoms include eye irritation, runny nose, stuffy nose, puffy eyes, sneezing, and inflamed, itchy nose and throat. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Below are specific things you should and should not be doing to make your life with this particular allergy more bearable.

• Track the pollen count in your area. You can call the National Allergy Bureau at (800)-9-POLLEN or go to www.aaaai.org.  You’ll be better informed when the pollen count is particularly high - cluing you in to just hit the couch and watch a Johnny Depp marathon.
• When driving or riding in a car, use the AC as oppossed to the windows.
• Use an air conditioner at home with a HEPA (high efficiency particulate air) filter attachment when the pollen count is high. This will remove pollen from the indoor air.  Again, keep the windows up.
• Don’t dry your clothes on a clotesline - pollen will hitchike inside.
• Take antihistamine medications.  Antiinflammatory nose sprays or drops are also helpful and come without the side effects of some antihistamines.
• If you’re hit particularly hard, you might consider seeing your doctor about allergy shots.
• I have no idea, whatsoever, what the corelation is, but experts say that those who are suffering from season allergies should avoid bananas, cucumbers, honey (made with pollen), Chammomile tea, sunflower seeds, and zucchini.
• For the best results, you should actually start taking antihistamines, such as Claritin, Zyrtec, Allergra, or Xyzal BEFORE allergy symptoms appear.  So, if you suffer from hay fever or ragweed, start taking one of these pills each morning.  Doing so may just keep your symptoms at bay.

I came across something interesting while reading about Ragweed, allergies, hay fever, and other seasonal miseries.  People who suffer from allergies such as ragweed often think that moving to the beach or heading out west will be their salvation from sneezing.  The fact is, doctors tell us that people who make this type of move may, indeed, feel better during the next season.  During months when they normally would have been red, sneezing, and miserable - they find themselves without a single complaint.  The problem is, if someone is allergy sensitive, they’ll actually develop allergies to their new local plants in a few years.

So, put away your Mountain and Ocean brochures, close the windows, take your medicine, and have a cup of coffee. 

*** Here’s another useful link: Best Antihistamines for Allergies

Buy at AllPosters.com

We all need positive feedback!

I’m about halfway through a wonderful book, How to Think Like a Millionaire (the review will be up before the weekend).  It’s one of those books where you find yourself, not only taking notes, but closing the book every now and again just to sort of soak everything in.  After this morning’s reading, I was a sponge - I guess it made me Sponge Blogger No Pants (I still had my gown on).    

I just finished a section on Positive Feedback vs Negative Feedback and the impact they have upon our subconscious mind and the absolute power our subconscious mind has over our lives.  Everything rises and falls according to the strength of our subconscious mind, so keeping positive and life-affirming thoughts therein could make ALL the difference.

The Live-Changing Power of Positive Feedback

When I got up from reading to make my husband some pancakes, I was still thinking about what I read.  I realized how, in my own life, positive feedback had a huge impact on me.  My mom and dad were forever telling me what a “good” child I was, how they never had to worry about me getting into trouble, and so on.  That early reinforcement, I’m sure, had a great deal to do with the fact that I never did get into any trouble.  When I was in my 30’s, a few months before I lost my father - my dad told one of his nurses that the only trouble I ever gave him or my mom was one speeding ticket.

I told him at the time that it was because I was perfect - but I’m pretty darn sure that’s not accurate.

I believe that the same scenario plays out for kids who are constantly told that they’re “bad,” “difficult,” or “spoiled.”  They live down to those words the way the lucky kids live up to the ones they hear.

As the pancake batter soaked up the buttermilk, I realized another area where positive feedback affected me.  I believe that one of the reasons I ever fancied myself a writer had to do with things my aunt told me years and years ago.  Penny (my mom’s sister and an aunt I’ve always been VERY close to) and her husband (Bobby - LOVE him!) had to move to another state when I was really young.  It was really hard on all of us, but Bobby had an amazing offer in Ohio that he would have been a fool to say no to.  He’s the master of corny jokes, but a fool he’s not!

When they left, I missed them terribly, so we started writing a lot of letters to one another - oh, to have e-mail then!  When they came home for Christmas, she went on and on about how much my letters meant to her and Bobby.  She said she always looked forward to them and saved each one.  When she said they “made her smile” because they were like visiting with me, I began to associate true power with words.

Many years later, when I got married and we had to move to Kansas, I had a lot more letters to write.  I still wrote to Penny, but I also wrote to my parents and my grandmother.  Each one of them always told me how much they loved reading my letters, how they kept them and often re-read them.  My grandmother even told me how she read them to her friends, and that they enjoyed my “way with words”.

Somewhere along the way, I came to believe they were right and I’ve had a fascination with words and writing every since.

When I handed my smiling husband his plate of pancakes, I was struck by yet another instance of positive feedback touching and shaping my life.  Early in my marriage, I fell in love with cooking.  I started collecting cookbooks and even began coming up with my own recipes.  When he was in the Air Force, he’d often have his single friends over to our house for supper.  I often overheard him talking about my “wonderful” cooking and it made me believe I was the greatest cook in the world.  The fact that he and our daughters are always so complimentary about my meals, desserts, bread, etc. only makes me love cooking more and more.

I am very, very lucky that the people I love most in this world have always made me feel like I could do anything.

A Lack of Positive Feedback

I wonder if one of the main reasons people become discouraged and give up is because they don’t get enough positive feedback. Think about the stereotypical scenario of the couple who has been together for several years. She begins to feel he doesn’t love her or think she’s pretty simply because he has stopped saying the words. The positive feedback, early in the relationship, built her confidence up SO high that when the words stopped, she came crashing down, bewildered and even wondering what she’s doing wrong.

The same could be said of children, co-workers, and just about anyone you could name. Children often “give up” becaue they don’t feel appreciated. Co-workers and friends get to the point that they quit trying because nothing they do is ever “good enough.”

The Pitfalls of Negative Feedback

The only thing more dangerous than a lack of positive feedback is a steady stream of negative feedback. When a spouse, daughter, son, friend, co-worker, etc. only hears negative comments - they begin to believe the words and come to believe that they are as worthless as the comments say they are. Many even tune the negativity out to a certain degree, after all, who wants to constantly hear how worthless, stupid, wrong, irresponsible, or bad they are?!?! But it goes much deeper than them tuning it out. They begin to believe it. When someone believes the worst about themself, they stop even trying.

However, if they get positive feedback - even if it’s for the smallest possible thing - their confidence and self worth begin to grow. After they’ve gotten enough positive feedback, they begin to give themselves MORE of the same feedback, then… look out!
 

The Most Important Feedback of All

As important as the feedback we get from others is, it’s not the most vital feedback. That feedback is the one we feed ourselves. The words we say to ourselves, usually inside our own minds, determine how successful we will or will not be. We are, basically, what we think we are.

The words below are just some of the words we use to cripple ourselves:

• I’m too old
• I’m too fat
• I’m not smart enough
• I never catch any breaks
• I don’t have enough money
• Nobody loves me
• I’m lonely
• I can’t do anything
• I’m so depressed
• I am so sick and tired of…
• My live sucks!

When we feed ourselves words like this, we’re feeding ourselves poison, and we should kick ourselves.  If we feed words like that to another human being, we should be stomped.

Start thinking more about the feedback you give to others and to yourself.  The words you say to and about the people around you makes them better or makes them worse.  If you beat them down, that’s where they’ll stay.  If you build them up, that’s the direction in which they’ll grow. 

Now let’s change the pronouns a little:  If you beat yourself down, that’s where you’ll stay.  If you build yourself up, that’s the direction in which you’ll grow.  How far can you and I grow?  As far as we want to!

Sweeeeet.

I think people should express themselves, not someone else. I hear mothers say that they have to buy their teenagers the latest jacket or sneakers or Izon this and that so they can express themselves. I want to say, “How can you express yourself by wearing what everyone else is wearing, and by wearing a label that expresses the designer or the company that produced it?” It isn’t what you can afford that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts. Be you; express yourself, not someone else. -Barbara Adams quote from One Can Make a Difference: Original stories by the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Dennis Kucinch, Russel Simmons, Bridgitte Bardot, Martina … Dozens of Other Extraordinary Individuals

Geez Louise.  I’d like to take a moment and praise the brilliant mind who created Calmine lotion.  The pink gook has probably preserved my sanity.  For over a week, I’ve had a horribly itchy rash thanks to poison oak - arms, face, legs, stomach.  Wheeeee.  To compound the misery, I have horrible allergies and they’re taking great exception to the whole thing.

Just a little advice - if you have outdoor pets that roam through fields and God only knows where, always wash your arms and hands after holding them.  Even if they show no signs of it (because their skin’s different than ours), they could have the oil from evil plants on them. 

When we pick them up and tell them how beautiful they are, how we love them, and coo the very wind out of them, we could unknowingly be sealing our fate.

And it itches like a mo fo.

I was much too smart to think of immediately washing my hands or arms after carrying my cats around and playing with them.  I also waxed brilliant by scratching the rash on my right arm so much that it got infected.  Such a clever girl.

A few nights ago, I heard some pretty dramatic words come spilling out of my mouth - “Oh, this is just hell.“  Fortunately, the only ears nearby were those of my two male cats, Bo and Svenn.  (The latter was actually the carrier…the cat carrier. Haha.)  As far as my boys know, poison oak is a legitimate form of hell, so they didn’t see anything wrong with me calling it that.  However, I know better.

So would prisoners of war, burn victims, cancer patients, grieving family members, amputees, etc.  I was an itchy, scratching, sneezing, mess but was it hell?  Hardly.

A few nights before, one of my daughters had told me about one of her friend’s mother.  She was, out of the blue, diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy.  She’d have a right to say the words I had no right to say.

It made me think about a lot of the things that come out of our mouths.  For example, when we say that someone is torturing us - that’s really a word we shouldn’t even consider using.  It should be saved for a much, much larger stage.  POWs could tell us all about the word, if we really wanted to know.  We don’t.

How about “I never catch any breaks?” - If someone lives in a free country, has a roof over their head, has at least one person who loves them, can see, hear, speak, and walk, are able to read and write, are healthy more often than they’re sick, and know where their next meal is coming from - they didn’t just catch more breaks than most people in the world - they’re blessed beyond reason.

We’ve got it so good, and have had it so good for so long that sometimes we forget just how good we’ve got it!

How about when we determine that life just isn’t fair.  If WE were to be fair, life doesn’t just randomly happen to us.  If I were given $2,000 and told to live off of it for two months and blew it all within one month - life didn’t step on my foot, I stepped on my own.  (I’ve got the bruised toes to prove it!)

More times than not - life isn’t unfair to us- it gives us, pretty much, what we ask for.

Whether we’re playing to an audience of one human, several humans, two cats, or just ourselves - we should keep a close watch on what comes out of our mouths.  We can make our negative situation(s) larger than they should be, smaller than they should be - or treat them just as they are:  Something that must be faced, dealt with, and endured.  Depending upon the situation, we should try to find the humor in it.  Several times, I’ve thought of myself as a super hero of sorts - a leopard with pink spots. Thing is, I haven’t any powers!

I am more thankful than I can say that poison oak is the nastiest thing in my life right now.   - The Pink Leopard

Pro Blogger.net recently ran a great post focusing on the importance of good, strong keywords.  It tells you how to use Google’s AdWord Tools to find out what phrases and words people are searching for.  An example given regarding a search for digital cameras blew my mind.  And on a Saturday morning.

I used the tool this morning to test out a lot of keywords for my Kentucky blog.  A few things struck me as interesting.  For one thing, people search for terms differently than we’d normally say them.  For another, everyone and their grandmother is looking for Louisville, Kentucky.

Within just 20 minutes, I’d found and written down well over 100 points of interest.  It’s pretty fascinating.

Be sure to read down through the comments, too.  Thar’s gold in them thar ‘ments.

AdWord Keyword Tool How to Use it to Hone Post Titles and Choose Blog Topics