I just added a guest article by Mark Tyrrell called Five Steps for Dealing with a Manipulative Control Freak. I like that title, it doesn’t tip-toe around the subject like an adult fearful of waking a small child.
My own personal take on control freaks is this: Avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid. Of course, that isn’t always possible. Sometimes you’re born into the situation, sometimes you marry into the situation, and other times you “inherit” control freaks by way of your job.
Like everyone, I’ve been exposed to people who micro-manage (some so much so that it’s more funny than annoying), but they aren’t full-blown control freaks. They know what would happen to them if they ever headed in that direction. I’d make their life absolute hell!
Control freaks are those types of people who have the potential to suck the life right out of you. They make everything in life about THEM and, before you realize what has happened, your entire day and night are spent revolved around what they want and what they enjoy.
What kind of life is that? Seriously.
Below is an excerpt from Mark’s article, click the link at the bottom to read the rest.
Five Steps for Dealing With a Manipulative Control Freak
by Mark Tyrrell
Control freaks don’t tend to make people around them happy. Okay, this is an understatement. Being in the constant orbit of a control freak can make you downright miserable.
Colleagues, friends, and partners can feel their every thought, action, and opinion is only valid if it concurs totally with the control freak’s take on things. We all need to feel we control some things to help us feel secure and safe; but the constant judging, micromanaging, interfering, bossiness, and manipulation of a dictatorial control freak goes way beyond this.
Feeling constantly judged, micromanaged, and manipulated eventually builds resentment, bitterness, and anxiety. The lack of tolerance or credit given for any initiative of our own makes us feel subjugated, like dejected subjects of some despotic ruler whose one role is to hear and obey. Remember that control freaks are “status junkies”. Anything they feel you say or do to undermine their own sense of inflated self won’t be tolerated, regardless of your thoughts and feelings.
And whether they intended to bully or not, the fallout is that people feel steamrollered and bullied.
So how can you best deal with a control freak? (Click the link to find out!)
I find control freaks are usually egotistic, but they also lack a wide perspective in life. Some just dun realize that most things in life don’t matter. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect, in fact it’s unrealistic. Sometimes u gotta settle for good enough.
You are absolutely right about the extent of frustration that control freaks can cause. I have had personal experience with control freaks who love to micro-manage. they want to get in your face on everything. It comes to a point where they seem to be pressing all the buttons and you become the remote controlled puppy. Great article!