Self Help Daily

If you are naturally a fearful or anxious individual, finding a moment of calmness in your own mind can be difficult as you are always wondering or worrying about what-if scenarios, even if they seem quite outlandish even to our own rational brains. Once you have a fixation on a circumstance or situation, it can be difficult to let go, relax and in so many words – get over the feeling of what’s bugging you.

Luckily, we don’t have to let fear and anxiety drive our lives and we have more control over our thoughts, feelings and reactions than we initially realise. Of course, you shouldn’t ever withhold or prevent a feeling – it’s natural to have emotions and feelings, even if they are quite strong compared to those around you – it’s how we act on these feelings and emotions that summarises who we are.

Gaining Control

Control is something that can make us feel confident but can quickly be pulled out from underneath us. When we lose this control, we feel suitably out-of-control of our own lives which naturally causes feelings of anxiety and fear. While we may not always be able to control the situation, we are able to control our reactions to it and work our way through the fear and nerves.

For instance, online security can be a fear for many people who have moved their important accounts online and are using smart devices to log into their sensitive inboxes and bank accounts. While you cannot control if and when a hack might occur, you can be sure to implement multi-factor authentication on all your accounts and practice safe browsing by never opening or clicking untrustworthy links.

Trusting in Others

The beloved people in our lives, be they friends or family, can be a huge source of anxiety and fear for people as they worry what could happen to these people and the impact it will have on our lives. Parents in particular can be a group that is hugely affected as they place their trust in schools and day-cares to take care of their young children while they go out to work and provide a comfortable lifestyle for their family. Trust in others is built over time, we cannot be expected to trust everyone as soon as we meet them, and it can be easily to become overwhelmed with the sheer amount of news stories regarding untrustworthy people. It’s becoming gradually easier, with the addition of smart technology that allows us to keep an eye on our homes by monitoring securely protected CCTV and other home or commercial surveillance devices.

However, we also need to remind ourselves that the true world isn’t full of monsters hiding around every corner and that news and social media platforms benefit from only releasing and reporting the bad stuff. Social media and online news platforms and blogs have made it easier than ever before to see the horrors going on around the world but just because we hear about it more frequently, doesn’t mean it’s happening more frequently, in fact, in many western countries, the world is the safest it’s ever been.

Confidence in Feelings

Sometimes fear and anxiety can be caused by doubting our own feelings or denying emotions to situations out of our control. Rather than immediately taking action against these feelings, make a record of them, take a moment to read what you’ve written and include details about the situation.

– What has happened to make you feel this way?

– How do you feel?

– Was this your initial feeling or have your feelings changed and developed in reaction to your first response?

Once you’ve got this on paper (or typed up in front of you) it’s easier to step back and look at the situation as a whole, address the feelings you had and what caused them and work out what you need to change about the situation in future to make you feel better about it. Our brains work in interesting ways and sometimes, the first thought we have in regard to a situation is simply what we’ve been conditioned to think or feel, it’s what we do next that decides the type of person we are and how much control we have over ourselves.

The world may seem like a scary place at first glance, full of what-if situations and terrifying news stories but take a closer look at your immediate world, your family, your neighbourhood, your local community – you might quickly find many smiling faces and supportive networks. We are the ones in control of ourselves, don’t let your emotions override your thoughts and instead, learn to let go of the little things that worry you and live a more peaceful, fulfilling life.