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Archives for November 2010

Powerful Lord Alfred Tennyson Quote

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Nor is it
Wiser to weep a true occasion lost,
But trim our sails, and let old bygones be.
– Lord Alfred Tennyson

I came across the Lord Alfred Tennyson quote, above, this morning and haven’t been able to shake it all day long – Especially the last four words: LET OLD BYGONES BE. Profound, much.

Old bygones trip a lot of us up, do they not?

  • Old mistakes we just can’t forget.
  • Past pains that are so profoundly painful that we can’t tear our eyes away from the entry of the wound.
  • Ancient wrongdoings of others that are so profoundly painful that we refuse to let the guilty take THEIR eyes off of our wound.
  • Fading dreams that never materialized as we’d hoped.

This wonderful quote is a beautiful, eloquent reminder that, very often, we get in our own way when we refuse to let bygones simply be bygones. We get so hung up on water that has passed under the bridge, so to speak, that we fail to enjoy and take full advantage of the water in front of us.  Sometimes it’s simply time to let go.

And be free.

If anything is holding you back or keeping you from embracing life and living it to its fullest, I hope you’ll let Lord Alfred Tennyson’s quote lodge in your mind and heart.  A year from now, you’ll be so glad you did. Sail On!

Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change Into Gift and Opportunity

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The author of Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity, SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) has inspired millions of readers to achieve their dreams (professionally and privately), the deaths of her mother and cat and the end of a treasured relationship tested her ability to walk her talk. But as Glad No Matter What shows, she journeyed through the spirals and layers of grief and loss and emerged stronger and more whole.

In this inspiring book, she shares the insights she found along the way — practical strategies we can all use to cultivate profound, positive transformation through, rather than despite, life’s inevitable travails.

Anyone who has ever loved and lost understands that it takes a great deal of courage to keep going.  The “injured” simply have a hard time putting themselves back on the playing field – after all, what if they get hit again?!?!  Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity proves that it can be done, should be done, and…. well, must be done.

About Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy – SARK

SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) is a bestselling author and artist, with over sixteen books in print and well over two million books sold, including the national bestsellers Succulent Wild Woman, Bodacious Book of Succulence, Eat Mangoes Naked, Prosperity Pie, and Fabulous Friendship Festival. Her work is widely used by colleges and universities as required reading and course material and she is a distinguished contributor to magazines and periodicals. SARK is one of the featured trailblazers in the critically acclaimed PBS Series Women of Wisdom and Power. An acclaimed speaker and teacher, she has been leading workshops for over twenty years. She is a transformational role model offering inspiration and guidance to people in their process of living more powerfully and authentically, and being more actively creative on a daily basis. SARK is also the founder and CEO of Planet SARK, a thriving business that creates products and services to support empowered living. She lives in San Francisco.

Questions and Answers with SARK:

In what specific ways can we all be more glad?
Feel what you feel when you feel it, then let it go. This will open the channels for more gladness. Look for things to be glad about, and talk about them, write them down, celebrate them. This will call more gladness to you. Make your most “alive choices” which are the ones that are a little scary, or make you a little nervous. These are the things that will fill your soul, and in turn fill the soul of the world. Do you transformative practices, which means taking whatever happens, and finding new ways to respond, and continue to practice. Telling and living new stories. This means that you stop repeating and reliving negative incidents, and instead focus on retelling the great and good things. This will cause and create more goodness and gladness.

Why this book now?
We are all seeking better ways to live and love our lives and assist the world in being a more creative, nourishing, and glad place. This book demonstrates how I do that, and gives powerful stories and examples of how you can do that. Here are a few examples: Facing a 3 hour flight delay, I built a fort in the airport. Being at the DMV with a lot of unhappy people, I stood up and sang Amazing Grace. Hearing that I was being audited, I transformed fear and worry into a great exchange with the IRS agent who cried because she said no one had ever been that kind to her.

What was your biggest inspiration for writing this book?
The deaths of my mother and cat, and the end of a romantic relationship formed the initial reason for writing the book, but transformation is always my greatest inspiration, and how we can literally “change the form” of what happens to us and what we do with that, is the basis of this book. All of my changes and losses have been transformed into gifts and opportunities, and those gifts and opportunities create more goodness and gladness to share with the world.

Can one really be glad “no matter what”?
Yes. By finding the glad parts of WHATever happens, and doing our transformational practices. We will still feel all of our feelings, we will just be invited not to spend so much time there. By feeling what we feel when we feel it, we can learn to better hold multiple feelings, and find the glad parts in as many of them as possible.

What will being glad really Do for people?
It fills them from the inside, so that they become and live like “full cups of self-love and gladness” sharing the overflow with the world.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Dr. Howard Thurman

It’d be easy to say that Glad No Matter What is about taking lemons and making lemonade.  But, that wouldn’t be quite accurate.  After all, if the lemons become lemonade, they’re no longer lemons, are they?  Glad No Matter What is more about taking lemons and making them dance.

Read more about Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity. Click through and use Amazon’s outstanding “Search inside this book” feature. You’ll be able to see for yourself, that this is a very lighthearted, fun, and upbeat book. It’s delightfully different and refreshing and I think you’ll be all kinds of crazy about it.

A Trip to My Hometown

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I had a doctor’s appointment in my little, unassuming, quiet hometown of Madisonville, Kentucky a few days ago. Even though I consider the somewhat larger and noisier town of Owensboro to be home now, part of me will always think of Madisonville as “home.” I was born in Madisonville, as were my two youngest daughters.  I spent the first 20-something years of my life in a town that was the only world I knew.

What is it about visiting your hometown that starts the trips down memory lane and the reminiscing?

Each time I go back, I’m hit by a mixture of emotions. Needless to say, I still miss my mom and dad – they moved on to Heaven years ago. Seeing the places we used to go conjures up bittersweet memories – sweet because the days that were, bitter because of the days that’ll never be again.

I also can’t help feeling nostalgic about the places we went when our girls were little. Every time I drive by McDonald’s, for example, I wonder just how many times I sat on the playground as three precious little girls had the times of their lives.  I remember being on the bench, in my mid-twenties, watching my beautiful daughters, and thinking, “Life doesn’t get any more perfect than this.”

I always loved it when people asked which kids were mine, so I could point them out – smiling ear to ear.  Okay, so some things never change.

On the most recent trip, I couldn’t help thinking that my teen years seem a lifetime ago.  Teenager Joi was a hoot and I kind of like reconnecting with her from time to time. I like to think back to my thoughts and dreams, and even wonder what SHE would have thought about ME.  I never fail to look back fondly at her and I get inspired and motivated to live in such a way today that would cause HER to feel the same. Sometimes I wonder what she would have thought about 2010.  If you’d sat that 16 year old girl down… and asked her to please spit out her grape Bubble Yum bubble gum and turn down the music ( John Cougar, Pat Benetar, Prince, Madonna, or The Rolling Stones) long enough to talk… she’d have hung onto your every word as you told her about 2010.

She’d have listened to every word you said and would have politely spit out her favorite gum – after all her mom raised her to be very polite and courteous.  No, wait, let me change that. She would have swallowed the 2 pound wad of gum – a nasty habit we share.  She’d have also turned down her music, EVEN if it were Miss Benetar asking to be hit with your best shot.

I still love that song.

A lot of people say, “If you’d told me THEN what would be going on NOW, I wouldn’t have believed you.” Well, in my case it’s quite different. I am, and have always been, very trusting – bordering on gullible and naive. So I would have believed every word you said – from Facebook and computers to texting and iPhones. Most would have gone over my head, but I wouldn’t have doubted you for a minute.

The things I would have had the most trouble with are the people today. At the risk of sounding very old fashioned and outdated, I just have to say it. I would have been mortified by the description of a lot of young “ladies.” One thing in particular. When I was a young girl, my friends and I would have been MORTIFIED if a guy had talked to us in the way that boys talk to girls on Facebook. Yet, these girls not only DON’T MIND, they do everything in their power to bring the crude comments on.

I don’t understand that. Goes right over my head. Why would anyone seek out crude comments by posting tacky pictures? How can anyone be that desperate for attention?

I wouldn’t have had much respect for the guys doing the talking either.  In my day, they’d have been called “gross.”

I’d have also popped a vessel over the way some kids talk to their parents today… and vice-versa. To say nothing of couples. It’s rare that you can go out in public without hearing someone biting someone else’s head off. I guess my 16 year old self would have to ask, “Why’s everyone, like, so mad?”

Why indeed? If you want a real wake-up call, take your own trip down memory lane.  Try to get in touch with your teen-aged self, so to speak.  Totally immerse yourself in how you FELT back then – think about your clothes, thoughts, dreams, ambitions, music, and so on. It’s a wonderful exercise in self-reflection and can open up a whole new appreciation for where you are – and WHO you are today.

The memories will come flooding back and it’s the experience of a lifetime.

Literally.

When you bring your mind back to the present day, you’ll notice things you might be taking for granted.  Like me, you’ll notice some things that leave you baffled (seriously baffled) but you’ll also notice things that are pretty remarkable.  For example, most of us remember when the word Cancer was a death sentence.  As soon as someone said, “So and So has cancer,”  you immediately wondered if they had a week or a month to live.  Today, your first thought is, “I wonder how they’ll treat it.”

Progress can be – and should be – a beautiful thing.

When teen-age Joi pulled herself together after seeing the “gross” stuff on Facebook, she would have teared up with joy when she saw her life now.  It is the Fairytale life a young girl dreams of – this one certainly did:  Happily married with a beautiful, happy, healthy family (humans and cats).   When you told her about that, she wouldn’t have asked about the size of the house or the year of the car.  She’d have wanted to know how many kids she had and how many cats there were.

Mostly she’d want to know if her husband was the “cute, cute, cute blue-eyed boy from the arcade in town – the one with the big shoulders and sweet smile that always made her laugh.”  When you told her that he was, in fact, that boy, you’d have lost her for the rest of the conversation.  She’d have just swooned right away on a cloud of happiness.

Like so….

Quotes About Quiet

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I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least – and it is commonly more than that – sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements.  – Henry David Thoreau

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.  – K.T. Jong

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that’s where I renew my springs that never dry up. – Pearl Buck

In quiet places, reason abounds. – Adlai Stevenson

Never be afraid to sit awhile and think. – Lorraine Hansberry, A Raisin in the Sun

By all means use sometimes to be alone.  Salute thyself; see what thy soul doth wear.  – George Herbert

Only in quiet waters do thing mirror themselves undistorted.  Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.  – Hans Margolius

I just added an article to my mental fitness blog (Out of Bounds) centered around this very topic… quietness.  You can check it out by quietly clicking the link. Just kidding, you can click the link as loudly as you like: Relaxation 101: Quiet the Mind and Steady the Nerves

More Quiet Quotes

The Skinny on Bullying: The Legend of Gretchen

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Every now and then (insert a light year between the now and then) a book comes along that’s so IMPORTANT the book reviewer is left searching for words like Gollum searched for his preciousssss.

It’s my fervent hope that as I lie in the floor of our home office writing these words I don’t physically resemble Gollum. I do, however, feel his pain.

Precioussss words, where are you????

Like so many people, my heart positively breaks for victims of bullies and bullying. No one should have their quality or enjoyment of life compromised by another person. Ironically, more times than not, the bully doesn’t have much quality or enjoyment in their own life – if they did, they’d find a more worthy title for themselves than “bully.” Be that as it may, they don’t have the right to impose their nastiness on others.

A very brilliant and timely book, The Skinny on Bullying: The Legend of Gretchen has been written by Mike Cassidy. I was lucky enough to receive a copy and it’s the very book that put me in kinship with Mr. Gollum (from the Lord of the Rings fame).

From the Back Cover:

The Skinny on Bullying is the story of two popular 5th graders at Stickville Elementary School named Beth and Billy. After a fun filled summer, the time has come to start 6th grade at Stickville Middle School. Once school starts, Beth and Billy soon realize they aren’t as popular as they used to be. They experience bullying. With the help of teachers, adults and friends they devise strategies to put a stop to bullying and grow up a bit in the process.

Like all of the books in “The Skinny On” line, The Skinny on Bullying: The Legend of Gretchen is exceptional.  The story flows in a very powerful and entertaining, yet easy to read format. People of all ages would enjoy this book but I’m particularly eager to see as many young people get their hands on The Skinny on Bullying as possible.

The Skinny on Bullying will teach you to:

  • Identify forms of bullying
  • Know when you are being bullied
  • Protect yourself from cyberbullying
  • Walk the halls without fear
  • Enjoy recess and lunch
  • Help a friend being bullied
  • Talk to an adult about bullying
  • Avoid conflicts with bullies

About the Author

Mike Cassidy is a writer and social media expert who grew up in the Connecticut suburbs outside New York City. Mike is a 2006 graduate of Villanova University with a degree in Communications.

Anyone who is interested in helping bring an end to bullying (online or off), should consider this as more than a book. The Skinny on Bullying: The Legend of Gretchen is what we’ve all been looking for and waiting for – a book that clearly shows young people what they need to do to avoid becoming victims or, for that matter, bullies.

I strongly urge all parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, and principals to put a copy of The Skinny on Bullying: The Legend of Gretchen in the hands of every young person in your life.  The book is presented in a very delightful comic book-type format with lovable, funny characters that kids of any age would love reading about.  I can see a teenager enjoying this book as easily as a fifth grader.

The Skinny on Bullying lays out for the reader the four main types of bullying:

  1. Physical – Intentionally hurting someone with force
  2. Verbal – Using words to hurt others
  3. Indirect – When you hurt someone behind their back, not to their face
  4. Cyberbullying – Bullying that occurs online or electronically

Each of the types of bullying is dealt with beautifully – with examples as well as ways to avoid bullies and how to handle them if complete avoidance proves impossible.

We honestly have to get a handle on this situation right now and, as is the case with all situations, educating everyone is the first step.  How can we expect the problem to go away if we don’t meet it head on? Our young people must be educated and this book is the ideal opportunity to make this happen.

I’d especially love to see someone, in a position to do so, make this book required reading in all public and private schools. If teachers would read it with their students, then discuss it in class – I know we’d have what we’re all looking for.

A happy ending.

Please click HERE today to order a copy for the young people in your life.