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Quote of the Day: Feelings Come. Feelings Go.

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Quote About Feelings
 

“Feelings, by themselves, do not create problems. It is rather the tendency to interpret and analyze them. When out of habit you believe those interpretations, it is there that the suffering begins.” – Mooji

Always be on guard for Stinkin’ Thinkin’. – Joi

Mooji’s description of the whole process is a lot more elegant than my own, but when all’s said and done, stinkin’ thinkin’ gets the job done, too.

We all know people who would be a lot happier (and, let’s face it, funner to be around) if they stopped allowing their minds to be breeding grounds for worrisome, negative, destructive, and ugly thoughts. Stinkin’ thinkin‘.  As Mooji points out, the feelings we have about other people or situations don’t always create the problems – we do by dwelling on them.

The hundreds of feelings we have throughout the day are just that… feelings.  Like visitors, they come and go. How we deal with them, while in their presence, strongly affects our mindset, and in turn, our happiness.

Thoughts can either be our best companions or our worst – depending entirely upon which ones we entertain.  We should be as mindful of our thoughts as we are the company we keep.  Just as we would never hang around with anyone who did nothing but complain, criticize, and condemn all the time, we should refuse to hang out with thoughts that do so. Because if we aren’t careful, these thoughts will turn us into those people.

~ Joi

A Quote of Biblical Proportions

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Pine Mountain, Kentucky

Ye have compassed this mountain long enough; turn you northward. – Deuteronomy 2:3 (KJV)

You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north. – Deuteronomy 2:3 (NASB)

The above verse (the bottom one) accompanied an edition of an  inspirational newsletter I subscribe to.  The newsletter was about an actual mountain and an actual situation of losing track of where the path was. Sounds like something I’d do, if we were to be honest. My sense of direction is akin to bat’s sense of sight.

The quote really resonated with me.  I grabbed my Bible, just out of curiosity to see how it was worded in the King James Version. It resonated just as strongly and, at least in my opinion, sounded even more lyrical.  Both versions of the verse are now written on a large index card and hang over my computer desk along with a few other quotes that I find to be exceptionally inspiring and motivational.  Another card nearby says, “Nothing will work unless you do. – Maya Angelou”

I can’t tell you how many times Dame Angelou has kicked my butt with those words.  I’ve been know to literally say, “Yes, Ma’am,” as I get back to work.

The beautiful mountain verse is also incredibly inspirational.  The words serve as powerful  reminders to know:

  • When it’s time to give up.
  • When it’s time to try a new approach.

When it’s Time to Give Up

I know it may be strange to see me, the queen of “Fight! Fight! Fight!” mention the words giving up in a positive light, but let’s face it. Sometimes it’s time to give up! For example, some people hang on so tightly to the PAST or to their Pre-conceived vision of the FUTURE that they waste today. There are few things in the world any sadder than wasted time or un-cherished moments.  I hear from people almost daily who are sad becuase…

  • Their marriage has ended.
  • Their “nest” is empty.
  • They lost their job.
  • They can’t have children.
  • The face they see in the mirror isn’t the one they saw 1o years ago (isn’t that a pip?)

The list goes on, because unfortunately none of us make it out of this world unscathed or unburdened.  The first thing I always tell people is that they have every right in the world to feel sad, disappointed, angry.. or any other emotions they feel.  We can’t help how we feel, after all. BUT, we can help how tightly we hang on to these feelings.

The spouse who’s marriage has ended who keeps looking at old photographs and listening to old songs, for example.  They hang on to the past so tightly, they’re squeezing the life out of the present – and nothing leads to a dead future faster than that.

How about the empty-nester who keeps wanting her children to be little again?

A. That’s not going to happen.

B. Why in the world would you want it to? They can change themselves now!

On a smaller scale, think about the baby boomers who are still trying to look just like they did when they were in their twenties?!  I’m the first one to say that a woman or man should wear whatever they darn well want to wear. All I hope for is that they aren’t tacky – and if they are, that they’ll stay out of my line of vision.  However, there’s a lot (a whole lot, actually) to be said for dressing in a manner that’s becoming to you.  If someone sends you a memo saying that the 70’s wants  its clothes back or the 80’s wants its mullet back… you might not be as becoming as you are just becoming a joke.

Relationships can also make people dig their feet in deeper when they should simply move on. Bad, dysfunctional relationships rob your life of positive energy, fun, and its very breath.  Some people waste years trying to make a lousy relationship un-lousy when lousy is all the relationship can be.

You have to know when it’s time to turn north. Going in circles doesn’t get you anywhere.  It just keeps bringing you right back to the starting point – the very definition of insanity and the picture of  wasting the life you’ve been given.

When it’s Time for a New Approach

Oh, geez. Time to tell on myself. I hate when that happens – but I get into so darn much stuff and make so many mistakes that I beg to be used as an example! Due to a thyroid that no longer exists (literally), I have to watch my weight like an obsessive hawk. Problem is, I’m not an obsessive hawk.  I’m more of a laid-back dove – and one that’s very, very fond of eating.

Imagine the trouble that gets me into.

The problem was under control for the most part until the past few years. Until recently, pounds would creep up and I’d simply walk further and more often until I was back in fighting form.  However, for some reason (it couldn’t be age, could it? Surely not.), the routine just isn’t working as beautifully as it once did.

This dilemma was in the forefront of my mind, actually, on the morning when I read the verse.  It jumped off of the computer screen, got in my face, and demanded, “So. Just how long are you going to keep doing the same thing, while expecting different results? How long are you going to keep dialing the same number and expecting a different answer each time? How long are you going to keep circling the same mountain?”

After writing the verse down on an index card, I immediately began to go over every single thing I ate and drink.  I researched the number of calories I was actually burning during my 30 minute walk each day. Turns out, not nearly as many as my feet thought we were. They had me convinced we were “torching calories” when, in fact, we were just kind of slapping them on the wrist – and not very hard at that!

I’d been, literally, leisurely walking around a mountain – again and again.  It occurred to me that it was more than past time to turn northward.  Then, and only then, would things begin to look up.

Spend a little time with this verse and see if there’s an area of your life it wants to discuss. If it does, you’d be wise to listen.

~ Joi

Ye have compassed this mountain long enough; turn you northward. – Deuteronomy 2:3 (KJV)

You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north. – Deuteronomy 2:3 (NASB)

>>>> The picture at the top was taken on a recent trip to gorgeous (gorgeous!) Pine Mountain State Resort Park in Kentucky.

Self Growth: Are You Going Through Life or Are You Growing Through Life

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Zig Ziglar quote about growth

My mom had a spot in her home where she “marked” my daughter’s (her granddaughter’s) height.  She got such an enormous kick out of charting their growth.  After each “marking” she’d say something or another than usually included the words “leaps and bounds.”

I have to admit, it was pretty fascinating to see the distance between the marks in the wood.  Given the fact that we saw the girl’s everyday, the physical growth wasn’t really noticed. Not until it was time for new shoes or clothes, anyway.

Physical growth is something we don’t have to think about. Anyone who tries to keep kids in shoes or their hips in Levi’s understand that.  It most definitely happens, whether you will it to or not.

Other growth (mental, physical, emotional)? Not so much.  If we want to GROW in any of these areas, we have to get off of our backsides and work. Which would help with the Levi’s, but that’s another subject.  The point is: while physical growth comes easily, the others do not.

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. – Ronald E. Osborn

Very often we get into the habit of shunning new experiences and far too often we give a polite, “No thank you,” to invitations to step out of our comfort zone. The problem is, this is where REAL growth occurs. I’ll give an example, using my husband.

Like most young husbands and fathers, he worked a variety of jobs after the Air Force. With a wife and three little girls, he put in long hours at factories as well as other jobs.  They paid well and he seemed determined to out work his pay.  He had a great reputation for being a very hard, conscientious worker – with a work ethic second to none.  He even attained a managerial position in a plant – so he got to ride other people for their work ethic! The pay was outstanding, as were the benefits. However, he was seldom home.

If he’d kept up that pace, HE would have definitely noticed his daughter’s “leaps and bounds” growth, and never seen it coming.

An opportunity for a sales position came open. He was really excited about the prospect of a new career. Not only was it a personal challenge, he’d actually be able to see his wife, daughters, and cats!  I was nervous about him applying for a position in which he had zero experience, but I wasn’t about to dampen his enthusiasm.  Even though I knew he’d be up against men and women with years of experience, I bit my tongue and became cheerleader to his quarterback.  Rah, rah, go get ’em champ!

He got the job.

His first, of many, stellar sales was himself.  While I was thrilled for him, half of me wanted to ask his new employers, “The boy’s never sold anything in his life. What makes you think he can make money for you?”

He wound up with the best sales the company ever saw and it wasn’t long before he found himself pretty much in a bidding war. Everyone wanted him on their team.  He grew into his career. By leaps and bounds.

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. – Henry Miller

Expand Your World

In Speaker’s Sourcebook II, a wonderful analogy is given using fish:  A favorite fish of many hobbyists is the Japanese carp, commonly known as the koi.  The fascinating thing about the koi is that if you keep it in a small fish bowl, it will only grow to be two or three inches long. Place the koi in a larger tank or small pond and it will reach six to ten inches.  Put it in a large pond and it may get as long as a foot and a half.  However, when placed in a huge lake where it can really stretch out, it has the potential to reach sizes up to three feet.

The analogy obvious: Like koi, our growth is determined by the size of our world.  More specifically, by the experiences we subject ourselves to.  If we watch the same type of shows, read the same type of books, and go to the same places – how can we expect to grow beyond what we already are?

We’ll grow when we expose ourselves to more experiences.  Don’t get locked into the same routines. Mix it up!

Do something every day that you don’t want to do. – Mark Twain

If you want more from life, ask for it. Demand it. Expand your world and you’ll open up new avenues for success in whichever direction you want to grow. No one really and truly limits our world as much as we do, ourselves. Break down these limits and see what lies beyond the horizon.

J.C. Penney (who I love for more reasons than his quote!) said it this way: No one need live a minute longer as his is, because the creator endowed us with the ability to change ourselves.

He who is silent is forgotten; he who does not advance falls back; he who stops is overwhelmed, out distanced, crushed; he who ceases to grow becomes smaller; he who leaves off, gives up; the condition of standing still is the beginning of the end. – Henri Frederic Amiel

What could you potentially be missing out on?! You know what you have to do.  Now get growing!

We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. – Max De Pree

It’s Better to Have Character than Be a Character

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Character
Character

The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back. – Abigail Van Buren

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. – Judith S. Martin

Your life may be the only Bible some people read.  – Author Unknown

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands. – Anne Frank

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. – Abraham Lincoln

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. – Billy Graham

Don’t try to be different.  Just be good.  To be good is different enough.  – Arthur Freed

Character is much easier kept than recovered.  – Thomas Paine

Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking. – J.C. Watts

Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up. – Thomas J. Watson, Sr.

I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day. – Abraham Lincoln

More quotes about character.

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. – Oscar Wilde

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