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One of the Most Buzz-Worthy of All Buzz Words

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Quote about Perseverance
January is a month filled with great energy. Everyone is hopeful for the year ahead and buzzing with electricity over new resolutions and goals. Unfortunately, these resolutions very often fall by the wayside by the time Cupid shows up on the scene mid-February, half-dressed with nothing but love in mind.

We have the energy, steam, and electricity for a few weeks but – after that – eh, it’s business as usual.

Sometimes the reason is simple – in fact, I’d wager that most of the time the reason is simple: We’d like to have this particular goal… but we don’t want it badly enough to work for it and we certainly don’t want it badly enough to inconvenience ourselves for it.

During January, we throw buzz words like determination, goals, mindset, will-power, success, and resolve around like peanuts in a Christmas parade.

Problem is, reaching goals and following through with resolutions takes a whole other buzz word: perseverance.

As they say, anything worth having is worth fighting for. This means it’s worth digging in your heels, throwing out our chin, clinching your fists, and full out going to battle for.  What makes this war of wills so difficult is the fact that we’re fighting the person in the mirror and they know all our tricks.

It takes perseverance and it takes determination.  Put together, they make a pretty darn good team.

I guess what I’m saying is this – whatever you’re reaching for, whatever you’re striving for… keep on keeping on until it’s your’s.  When the going gets tough, think of the humble little snail.  It was by perseverance that his ancestors EVER reached the ark.

Keep going!

~ Joi

A Few Favorite Quotes About Perseverance:

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. – Walter Elliott

Lord, give me the determination and tenacity of a weed. – Mrs. Leon R. Walters

Character consists on what you do on the third and fourth tries. – James Michener

Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist but in the ability to start over. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

By perseverance, the snail reached the ark. – Charles Spurgeon

There’s only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that’s if we quit. – Unknown

More Perseverance Quotes…

Perseverance 101: Drastic Results Call for Drastic Action

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Quote About Trying Harder

 

The word drastic is defined as “acting with force; violent” or “extremely severe or extensive.”

The definitions are nothing if not extreme themselves. Drastic even.

My own definition of drastic (straight from “Joi’s Southern Dictionary”) is this: A situation is drastic when nothing you throw at it sticks.

Unfortunately drastic situations can (and often do) show up anywhere. And everywhere:

  • finances
  • weight
  • relationships
  • time management
  • household duties
  • chores
  • golf course
  • schoolwork
  • yard work
  • workplace
  • health
  • baseball field
  • etc…

The tougher the opponent (re-read drastic‘s definition to remind yourself of its toughness), the tougher YOU have to be. If your enemy is proving that it can stand the test of time, it may be time to switch up your approach.

Throw something tougher at it and see if it sticks.

A few examples (because who doesn’t like examples?):

Weight. If you struggle with your weight – or, more precisely, if the scale refuses to budge in the acceptable direction – it may be time to step up your efforts… maybe even WAY up.

  • Cut bread out entirely. No wheat bread, white bread, or rye bread. Zero, with no cheating. You’d be amazed how many calories bread unnecessarily sneaks into your body.  As a bonus, when you aren’t “allowed” bread, fast food is almost entirely cut out.
  • Add a 30 minute walk into your day – without fail. No excuses allowed.  If the weather says, “Oh, no you don’t,” drive to the mall and say, “Oh, yes I do.”
  • If it’s nearly impossible to work in 30 minutes of walking or exercising into your day, get up an hour earlier, and move that body for at least half of the 60 minutes.
  • If you’re already walking (or exercising) 30 minutes each day, crank it up to an hour.  Sometimes what WORKED stops WORKING and you have to WORK more.

Sports or Hobbies.  If your hobby, sport, or favorite pastime refuses to succumb to your best efforts, first of all, consider better equipment.  We can only be as good as the tools we use. I may be one of the only women in the world who encourages her golfing husband to buy better golf clubs. If you’re going to spend time on a hobby, you might as well do it right. If you aren’t doing as well as you’d like in your game (or hobby) of choice, maybe it’s because you aren’t setting yourself up for success.

Photography is another area where your results are directly related to your equipment.

If your equipment is about as good as it gets, ask yourself, “How much time am I putting into it?”  The answer may shock you. If you aren’t devoting time to honing your craft, how in the world is it supposed to get better?!

If your equipment is about as good as it gets and you’re putting in a respectable amount of time, you might be a golden candidate for a few lessons or classes. An expert (teacher, instructor, coach..) may hold your key to success.

These are, of course, just a few examples.  Irregardless of the situation, the approach is pretty much the same – if what you’re throwing isn’t sticking, change up your approach.

  1. Throw more.
  2. Throw harder.
  3. Catch it off guard.

If there’s something that makes the fight a little tougher for you (health issues, medicinal side-effects, financial restraints…), you’re going to have to grab a big shovel and dig deep.  Basically, you can either use an obstacle as a reason to try harder or as a reason to quit.

I once read about a woman with diabetes that very, very, very difficult to manage. Her moods, along with her sugar, would fly all over the place. She had to devise a system to control her emotions (and mouth!) before she drove everyone she loved away.

If you have extenuating circumstances, you will have to fight a little harder than the next person but it will, in the end, make you a little stronger than the next person.

Bottom Line: Other than acts of God, drastic situations only respond to one thing – Drastic actions.  They’re like werewolves that can only be killed with one bullet – a silver bullet. Think about your own personal werewolves and see how many silver bullets you can come up with.

“Drastic results call for drastic action!”

 Keep reaching!
~ Joi

Self Help Lessons from The King’s Speech

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The King's Speech Movie Poster

My husband and I recently saw the movie The King’s Speech.  King George (Bertie) had a problem which must be one of the most irritating, maddening, and frustrating issues in the world to deal with.  He stuttered.

The King’s Speech (an outstanding movie that’s worthy of all the praise it and its stars have received – Colin Firth as King George gives one helluva performance) is the inspirational story of King George VI of Britain.  In spite of his royal blood, “Bertie” was just a man – flesh and blood, albeit royal.  He had doubts and insecurities like all of us – thanks to his speech problem and to a father who handled the whole matter poorly (as well as a brother who badly needed roughing up).  His sudden ascension to the throne corresponded with a time of great turmoil and trouble for Britain.  They needed a leader they could put their confidence in but their leader had to find it first.

King George had an all-important speech ahead of him.  He simply had to make his words reflect the strength and conviction that resided inside of him.

Fortunately, the king had been working with an unconventional speech therapist, Lionel (brilliantly played by Geoffrey Rush).  His wife Elizabeth  (played by the always sublime Helena Bonham Carter) had found this wonderful man, at a time her husband had all but given up. Lionel and Elizabeth formed a little team that refused to let him go under.

I was about to type, “Before this post turns into a movie review” when I realized it already had.  I might as well cap the review portion of this post off:  The King’s Speech is an utterly fascinating, hilarious, and breathtakingly beautiful movie.  The cast is sheer perfection and you really should see the movie, at least once.  It’s outstanding.

And that concludes the impromptu movie review – I guess we know now why I don’t do that for a living.

The King’s Speech actually holds – within its gorgeous scenes – a self help lesson for us, and as you’d expect, I’m all over it.  King George VI’s life played out on a long, winding road that essentially had 6 Mile Markers.  Had he stopped at any of the 6 and refused to continue his journey, who knows what would have happened.  Fortunately, he found the courage and determination to make it through each.

While we are each on decidedly different roads, with our own gorgeous scenery and individual challenges, but we have the same 6 Mile Markers, the Six P’s, if you will:

Mile Marker #1:  PROBLEM

Like King George, we all have problems. You may have a particular problem right now that looms in front of you like one of Ebenezer Scrooge’s ghostly visitors. The first step in overcoming a problem is to admit it exists.  King George acknowledged his problem.  He didn’t hide from it, blame others, or try to make excuses.

When we face problems in our own lives, we have to look them in the eye, take ownership of them, and set out to find the solution. Pointing fingers never accomplishes a darn thing. Even if King George had a specific person in his life who he felt caused his problem – what good would pointing the finger at him or her do?  What good would come from unleashing hate and revenge?  Wouldn’t the speech problem still exist?

Why waste that kind of energy?

If you have a particular problem in your life, stop concerning yourself with the Why’s, Who’s, and How Come’s. In the time some people spend chastising and belittling others for not “measuring up,” they could create a masterpiece in their own life.

Shouldn’t that be the plan?

Don’t find blame. Find answers.  Acknowledge your problem and accept it as that: YOUR problem.

Mile Marker #2: PRESSURE

Was the heat ever on poor King George?! He had the speech of his life coming up!  George had a lifetime of struggles with this cursed problem, and each time he’d squared off against the enemy (his speech problem), it had won.  It had the last laugh – each time.  How could he DARE hope this time would be any different?  His people, and the country he dearly loved, needed him now more than ever before and he was up to his crown in a pressure cooker.

Most of us know the feeling, whether a crown is or isn’t on top of our head.  Finances, relationships, careers, education, mortgages, health, challenges…. We all feel pressure.  Sometimes we put it on ourselves, and other times someone else has the honor.

This the intersection where most people jump off the road.

When she was around 3 or 4, our daughter Brittany was sick with one of those lovely wintertime viruses.  The kind that aren’t serious but make you feel seriously sick.  For this little live wire, being sick was a complete and utter inconvenience and seeing her so lifeless broke all of our hearts.  I remember the entire scene just like it was yesterday.  She had on a little yellow gown with Snow White (with her elves in tow) on the front.  I had made a comfortable place for her in the den with pillows behind her, orange juice nearby, and cartoons on the tv.  I’d given her her favorite coloring books and crayons but she didn’t even have the energy to color.

My dad, who knew one of his little angels was sick, came by on his lunch break.  He’d brought something special for her (and her sisters) but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.  The gown I’m all over, but what the loving grandfather brought isn’t clear.  (Just like a female to remember the clothes.)  He sat on the floor beside her and said, “How do you feel, baby doll?”

Brittany weakly said, “A little bit good and a whole bunch bad.”  I laughed.  My dad melted.

Anyway, Pressure feels a little bit good and a whole bunch bad.  On second thought, maybe it doesn’t feel good at all.  Which is why so many bail when it hits.

As I said earlier, who knows what would have happened if King George had been a quitter instead of a fighter.

Mile Marker #3:  PURPOSE

This one’s obvious. We have to have a purpose in life! If we have a problem that stands between us and our purpose – the answer’s pretty clear, the problem has to go.  King George’s purpose was great: He had to be the king his nation needed him to be.  In the face of war, his people needed someone they could count on, someone with conviction in his voice.  King George purposed in his heart to become that person.

He didn’t look at the circumstances and didn’t allow the problem or the pressure to keep him down.  He decided that his PURPOSE carried more weight than either his PROBLEM or his PRESSURE.

That’s exactly what we all must determine.  Purpose > Problem and Purpose > Pressure.   Not Purpose = Problem or Purpose = Pressure and darn sure not Purpose < Problem or Purpose < Pressure.

Every now and then I just like to prove to my math teachers that, contrary to popular belief, sometimes I actually did pay attention.

Mile Marker #4:  POWER

There are many sources of power – and there’s no way on earth (or off) I’d ever try to lessen any of them. Whether it’s the single greatest power on earth (from God, Himself),  the power that can change the world (Love), or the power that defies all reason (the power of family and friends) – power is all around us.  When we want to do great things or overcome great obstacles, we’d be smart to call upon all the power we can.  It’s always my first course of action!

King George had a very powerful team in Lionel and Elizabeth.  Without them, I’m not 100 percent sure the speech would have gone as well as it did.  However, for the purpose of this post, I want to address the power that, had it been absent, I AM 100 percent sure the speech would have failed…

The power from within. King George would not have…  could not have….  achieved anything great solely on the power from Lionel or Elizabeth.  You and I can not… will not… achieve anything great solely on the power from those around us.

The kind of power it takes to move obstacles and jump over hurdles comes from deep inside. Sometimes you have to dig deep.  Sometimes, like King George, years and years of disappointment and pain build up a wall of resistance.  Our defenses are up, so to speak.  Renovations often have to take place inside before we can take the first step. King George had to dig deep – PAST pain, humiliation, disappointment, embarrassment, and shame.

What he found on the other side of all THAT was THIS – power to overcome and power to have the last laugh.

The power is inside all of us, we simply have to dig deep and find it.  Once we have acknowledged our problem, have gone toe to toe and nose to nose with pressure, determined our purpose, and gotten in touch with our power… it’s time to lay it all on the line.

Mile Marker #5: PLAN

That’s right, it’s time to plan.  You know the saying, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  Whatever it is you want to accomplish, don’t sit on the sidelines, waiting for it to happen.  Remember the little girl on the couch a few paragraphs ago?   Let’s just say she doesn’t wear Snow White gowns anymore.  She is still beautiful, hilarious, and full of life though.  It still breaks my heart to see her sick and… yes, she is still my baby.  Always will be.  A few days ago we were talking about something in particular and I basically asked her if she was planning for it.  She laughed and said that she guessed she just thought it’d happen.

As someone who all too often operates the exact same way, I had to laugh too.

Whatever it is you want in life, or from life, requires a plan.  If you do nothing else today – I hope you’ll think about one particular goal and literally write out a plan to make it happen.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  I don’t guess any of us can hear that often enough.

Mile Marker #6:  PERSEVERANCE

The first part of any journey can be the toughest – whether it’s a journey to lose weight, launch a business, overcome a destructive habit, or conquer stuttering in order to deliver the speech of a lifetime.  Setting out on the course takes a great deal of courage.  Standing up to pressure without batting an eye takes conviction.  Digging deep for power and purpose takes strength.  Making a plan takes boldness.

Wouldn’t it be a shame of epic proportions to achieve all of THAT just to throw it all away.  Whew, fortunately that never happens, right?  No one ever loses weight just to gain it back.  No one ever quits smoking just to pick the habit up all over again.  No one ever squanders a fortune they worked years for or throws away a good name they spent a lifetime earning…

Right??!?! Right?  Oh.  That’s right, it happens all the time.

A lot of people excel at planning, some are even wonderful at addressing problems and dreaming up solutions.  There are even some people who could light up a major city with the power they generate.  However, few… precious few… have what it takes to really make it to the finish line because they start strong and finish weak.  They have the boldness to begin but lack the conviction to follow through and the courage to finish.

Make no mistake about it, perseverance is the most important mile marker of the six.  Why?  Simple – she has the power to undo ALL of the others.   Years of overcoming obstacles, powering through pressure, silencing critics, and achieving your wildest dreams can all be wiped out by this one mile marker.   She can make it as though none of it ever happened – sending you right back to the start.

Don’t let this happen to you.  Think of it this way:  By perseverance, the snails reached the ark. Can’t you picture this cute diminutive couple as the sky began to turn dark?  As other larger, decidedly faster animals gracefully made their way to safety, it would have been easy for the speed-challenged snails to pucker up and kiss their tails goodbye.  They could’ve thought, “Well, life’s been sweet but this is where we check out.”

Not an option.

They set out – slow and steady – for their destination.  Watching hundreds of legs sprint past couldn’t have been fun, but they kept on keeping on.  The snails knew the right time and the right place to quit.

How about you? Do you know the right time and the right place to quit?  Think about that for a second.

If you answered, “When you get to your goal… when you have success… that’s the right time and place to quit,”  you may be surprised to hear that you’re not just wrong, you’re dead wrong.

The right answer is NEVER. It is NEVER the right time or the right place to quit.  The minute you think you can sit back, put your feet up, and bask in your victory is the minute you begin sliding back to the start line.   Keep digging deep, keep finding the power inside, keep your purpose in front of you, and use pressure to work FOR you. Let it propel you further down the road than you’d be able to go on your own.

Look pressure in the eye and say, “Thanks! I needed that push.”  That ought to catch him off guard.

When you need answers, find them.  When you need a plan, make it.  When action is called for, take it. Most importantly, remember the right time and the right place to quit.  NEVER!

The poster at the top of the post can be found here. (Pssst, see the movie. When it leaves theaters, BUY the movie. Whatever you do… watch this beautiful movie. In spite of my makeshift review!)

Daily Quote: Quotes About Perseverance

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Something that helps me when 99 percent of me wants to phone it in is three simple words:  Get it Done.  It has kept me focused when my mind wants to wander away from work at hand, it has kept me doing housework when I wanted to watch I Love Lucy, and it has kept me on the treadmill for 10 minutes longer than I thought I could reach.  When you feel yourself caving in to distractions, discouragements, or any other dangerous limitations, visualize the words GET IT DONE… and then do just that.

Here are a few other favorite quotes about perseverance:

Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finishes the job he starts. – Coleman Cox

Keep going and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it.  I never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down. – Charles Kettering

Character consists on what you do on the third and fourth tries. – James Michener

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success, they give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown. – H. Ross Perot

It’s always too early to quit. – Norman Vincent Peale

When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
– Author Unknown

Never despair, but if you do, WORK ON IN DESPAIR.  – Edmund Burke

More great quotes about Perseverance.

Meet Gambaru: My New Favorite Word

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Gambaru
 

I recently read an article in Guideposts written by the beautiful Today Show Anchor Ann Curry.  Beautiful? Let’s be honest… she’s gorgeous. Flawless even.

But I like her anyway.

I’ve always been a huge fan of this particular journalist – her grace, compassion, integrity, and intelligence set her apart.

In the article, Ann Curry talks about her parents and her career, among other things.  There were quite a few things about the article that stood out in my mind – I even wrote a few of them down.  Suffice to say, I came away an even bigger fan than I was before.  I’ll link to the article below, because I really hope you’ll read it – it’s absolutely beautiful.  But I wanted to share one part of Ann Curry’s story with you here on Self Help Daily.  I’ve thought about her mother several times since reading her story and I’ve written a new favorite word, colorfully, on a piece of paper that now hangs near my computer desk:  Gambaru.

Unless you’re Japanese or fluent in the language, you’re probably not familiar with this word.  I’ll tell you in a moment what it means.

Ann Curry’s mother, Hiroe, was the daughter of a Japanese rice farmer.  Bob Curry, Ann’s father, was a career Navy man who enlisted in the Navy right out of high school. After World War II, as part of the Allied occupation forces, Bob Curry was stationed in Japan.

The war left Hiroe’s family without seed to grow their crop, which obviously put them in a terrible predicament.   At the age of 18 Hiroe had to take a job as a streetcar conductor. Guess who happened to be on her streetcar one day?  You got it, the hero of our story, Bob Curry.  According to Ann, her dad took that very streetcar every day until he worked up the nerve to ask Hiroe on a date.

His efforts paid off and they went out for noodles.  They fell deeply and completely in love, but their road wasn’t paved with rose petals.

During this time, the Navy disapproved of marriages between American servicemen and Japanese women.  Sadly, Bob Curry was shipped out of Japan. It took two years, but he managed to get sent back to Japan.   You knew he wasn’t going to give up that easily, right?!

He later told his daughter that when he took Hiroe into his arms, he realized how painfully thin she had gotten.  As it turned out she had tuberculosis and wasn’t even expected to live.

Bob Curry ingeniously used her healthy sister’s lung X rays to get clearance from Navy doctors, and married her anyway!  Now that she was a U.S. military wife, she was able to get the medical care she needed.   Hiroe went on to have 5 healthy children, including the oldest, Ann Curry.

Hiroe endured bombing raids and starvation during World War II.   With the love of Bob Curry, she survived TB and lived to tell about it.  She also had to overcome language barriers and even racism when she came to the United States.  All of that is what makes the following (as well as the colorful word on my cork board) so special.

Ann Curry, thanks to financial struggles (five children on a serviceman’s income had to have been a challenge) and a mixed heritage (during a time when that wasn’t very common or smiled upon), knew a few things about adversity.  Whenever she felt the sting of the challenges, Ann says that her mom always told her,“Gambaru.”

Gambaru  is Japanese for “Never ever give up, even and especially when there’s no chance of winning.”

This story is more than just a love story, it’s a story of perseverance and it’s most definitely a story of Gambaru.

Credit: An Act of Faith by Ann Curry