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A Really Cool and Simple Self Help Exercise

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I’ve mentioned several times that I’ve fallen in love with a new type of “book feature” – books that allow me to comfortably read them while I’m on the treadmill have a very special place in my heart. When they’re just the right size and pliable, and the font is large enough to read at arm’s length and (come on let’s be honest!) they’re interesting enough to keep me in place for at least 30 minutes, I’ve made a paper friend for life.

I just finished such a book, WOW: A Handbook for Living. I want to share one particularly interesting page from the book that really made me think. I’ve shared it with a few of my daughters and it has tickled their brain cells as well.

The authors, Zen Ohashi and Zono Kurazono, have filled the book with beautiful, random photography as well as outstanding advice and… well, brain cell ticklers. I’ve gotten a lot out of many of them, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t appreciate me giving everything away in one post! I will, however, share one in particular.

If you want to improve your abilities such as listening, love, enthusiasm, expression, rate yourself on a scale of one to ten. – Page 60

  1. Rate the ability on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best you’ve been able to perform up to this point in time, one being the worst you’ve ever done.  Do this on a daily basis.
  2. To raise your ability just one point, think of what you have to do to improve.
  3. Try it.  – WOW: A Handbook for Living – Page 62

After reading this particular page, I folded the book and placed it on the front of my treadmill – then I just finished my physical exercise as I thought about this mental exercise.  This is really excellent advice.  Think of the different areas this advice could be utilized in:

  • Personal. Rate your relationships with the people you love.  On a scale of 1-10, how close are you? What could YOU do (don’t worry about them right now) to move UP the scale.  Do you criticize or “push” them too hard?  If so, laying off and offering more support, praise, and back pats would certainly be good for an upward swing.
  • Home. Rate your living conditions.  Have your closets gotten out of control (Shhh, don’t judge me.), are your bookcases haggard?  Do you need more furniture with organization on its mind?! Take an honest assessment and, again, come up with what will get you moving in the right direction.
  • How about money? How would you currently rate your finances?  Do you have as much money in the bank as you want or need?  If not, come up with a plan to either make more or spend less.
  • Your Self Image. Without being unnecessarily cruel or chippy, how do you rate your self image right now?  Packing around a few extra pounds that you aren’t terribly thrilled with?  Maybe your hairstyle has worn out its welcome. Unhappy with your wardrobe? Whatever your pet peeves are, keeping them as pet peeves isn’t going to do anything for you.  Rate the different areas, then come up with a plan to move on up to a happier place on the number line.
  • Your Self Confidence.  Are you comfortable speaking on a number of different subjects? If not, read more.  Stretch your mind and stretch your horizons.

Push your limits and push your way up the number line.  Don’t stop until you’re rocking a #11 in every category.  Think it’s not possible?  All I have to say to that is, Gambaru!

In addition to the rating exercise, I highly recommend the following:

  1. Daily exercise!  Not only is it the best thing you can do for your physical health, it’s golden for your mental health.  You’ll feel so much better if you simply MAKE time to get at least 30 minutes of activity at least 5 days a week.  As an added bonus, while you’re walking or working out, you’ll come up with some of your best ideas and will be able to do more creative thinking than ever before.  For reasons that a doctor could explain far better than I can, exercising sets the stage for clearer thinking and creative ideas.  I’m completely hooked on working out problems and ideas on the treadmill or while walking outdoors (assuming it ever warms up again!)
  2. WOW: A Handbook for Living.  This is a beautifully written and illustrated book that will stimulate your thoughts as it inspires and motivates you to live your life out loud.  This one’s a real winner, and so are you.

Setting Yourself Up to Succeed

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There are certain things my husband says that I just tune out.  The whole money not growing on trees spiel has never amused me.  Truth be told, it depresses me. It’s akin to the “I’m not made of money, honey” statement.  The first time my husband pulled that one on me, I thought, “Yeah. Neither is my dad.” Do males have a code book or something?

I’m also weary of my husband’s driving instructions and commands to slow down.  He wants to take the sport out of the whole process and I’m having none of it.

While I’m on a roll, romantic comedies are not “stupid” and watching one WILL NOT cost him his man card. Whatever that is. He’s also wrong about shopping.  It most certainly is essential to go down every aisle, how else will you see if there’s anything you need?!  Generally, this is where I learn that he isn’t made of money, nor does it grow on trees, and that money won’t burn a hole in my pocket if it stays there longer than 24 hours. How does he know this?

I’ve given up on making sense out of a lot of the things out of the man’s mouth, but I’ve learned that  many of the things he says do make sense.  I was thinking about one of them recently.

He always says that you are only as good as the tools you surround yourself with.  That’s why he spares no expense on our home office technology, software, desks, and other necessities.  If you want to excel, you have to give yourself every advantage that you can. See, I do listen to some things.  It’s just a lovely little coincidence that this lesson involves spending money.

It’s a truth that everyone would do well to remember when confronting their New Year’s Resolutions and self improvement goals (at any time of the year, for that matter).  If you have a particular area that you want to improve or grow in, ask yourself the following question, “What will help me accomplish these goals?”  Think about it this way:  If you had everything you need to make your dreams come true, wouldn’t they be a reality now rather a resolution?

Very often what’s missing isn’t inside of us, it’s outside of us.

  • The woman trying to get fit and lose weight:  Maybe it isn’t her self-control, will-power, or eating that’s the real problem. Maybe she simply needs to burn more calories and would be a size 10 waiting to strut with an exercise bike, elliptical, or treadmill.
  • The man who’s trying to earn extra money with his blog:    Maybe a premium theme,  professional graphics, or even an seo consultant could push him over the hump.
  • The college student who is trying to carry an A average:  Maybe a great laptop computer and educational software would help with research, assignments, and papers.
  • The would-be-cook:  The Food Network combined with great kitchen gadgets, appliances, cookbooks, and (of course) a great spice rack will keep her or him inspired and cooking up a storm.
  • The individual who is about one traffic jam short of a meltdown:  Relax, Max! Seriously, anyone who experiences stress in their lives needs to surround themselves with things that make the stress slide off of their body:  Bird feeders and bird houses near a window, lavender-scented candles,  a beautiful cat,  desk top fountains, sound therapy, relaxation cds….  Stop going it alone – give yourself the edge you need to take off the edge.

As a golfer is only as good as his equipment, an individual is only as good as they set themselves up to be.

We’re past the holidays now – when your focus is on making everyone else’s faces light up. Now it’s time to be just a wee bit selfish; come on, just a wee bit. There’s a direct correlation between how good you can be to others and how good you are to yourself.  If you don’t take care of YOU, how in the world are you going to take care of anyone else. You have to be healthy, happy, and content first and foremost.

Granted, many times we have shortcomings and we often stand ridiculously in our own way.  Very often the problem does lie inside of us.  But not always.  Remember: If you had everything you need to make your dreams come true, wouldn’t they be a reality now rather a resolution?

Self Improvement Advice From a Rocking Chair in North Carolina

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Mountains

In a recent newsletter article, author Mary Southerland told about an experience she’d had several years ago. She was living in the mountains of North Carolina (a breathtakingly beautiful part of the country). One of her passions was old-world country stores and the gorgeous handmade “treasures” that filled them.

On one occasion, she was exploring some off roads in search of just such treasure and found herself on a dirt road.

She saw a bearded man sitting on the porch in a rocker with a pile of wooden logs by his side. By the porch railing she noticed a large collection of beautifully carved wooden dogs. The mountain artisan asked her to join him and to feel free to ask any questions.

As she tells it, she had only one, “How in the world do you carve these beautiful dogs out of those ordinary pieces of wood?”

His priceless response? “Well, Missy, it’s pretty simple. I just take me a piece of wood and cut away everything that doesn’t look like a dog.”

Hmph.  So I’ve been searching and pondering and pondering and searching for years to put my finger on the secret to self improvement and a man in the mountains of North Carolina knew the secret the entire time?

I can see it now. He’d be sitting across from me at my dining room table. I’d pour him a cup of coffee and give him a slice of Coconut Cake. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind cats, because I’m sure Alexa would be all over him. I’d take a long drink of coffee and ask him, “So, what do you think is the secret to self improvement? Which do you think is more important, positive affirmations, visualization, or motivational speakers? What’s your favorite self help book and who’s your favorite self help author? Have you ever heard of vision boards?  How do you feel about mood journals? — What? Oh, yes sir, God did give me the gift of gab. — What’s your favorite motivational quote? How do you feel about goal setting?”

Then, as he finished his Coconut Cake, he’d wipe his mouth and say, “Well, Missy, it’s pretty simple. I just take me a piece of wood and cut away everything that doesn’t look like a dog.”

I’d look at him the way my husband often looks at me, with question marks instead of pupils.  I’d start to remind him that this was his approach to making wooden dogs… but then it’d hit me between my question marks.  It’s also the way to making the life you want to make.

What if we took a look at our life and cut away everything that didn’t help us to become and be the person we wanted to be? The bad habits, the time-wasters, the worries, etc.  You know, the junk!  What if we carved away the unproductive and left only the productive?

I think we’d be left with our own little treasure.