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Archives for November 2009

The Skinny on Willpower: How to Develop Self Discipline

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The Skinny on Willpower by Jim Randel

I’ve fallen completely in love with books that are as visual as they are motivational, educational, inspirational, and helpful. Guardians of Being by Eckhart Tolle with illustrations by Patrick McDonnell (creator of MUTTS) is a perfect example. I fell hard for that book and now I’ve fallen hard again.

The Skinny on Willpower, How to Develop Self Discipline by Jim Randel is a first-class example of a book that’s a lof of fun to look at and a lot of fun to read… yet, amongst all of the smiles is a great, great deal of useful and helpful information.

“Willpower isn’t something that gets handed out to some and not to others… it’s a skill you can develop through understanding and practice.” – Gillian Riley

The adorable stick figures in this book get into a whole mess of situations. You follow the skinny little characters as they learn about willpower and “making it happen.” Basically, The Skinny on Willpower, How to Develop Self Discipline is a great lesson on self-discipline and willpower told in a story format. You’ll find lessons, bullet points, and quotes throughout the book as well. The characters, through trial and error and with help from the author (moderator), they find the path to making their dreams come true.

The best part, of course, is we can find the same path. The author serves as the moderator for our lives as well. This book is honestly filled with fantastic advice – all presented in a way that’ll be completely fresh and new to each reader. Come on, I read as much as a cat sleeps – I’ve seen every kind of book there is. And as much as I love books, they can sometimes become monotonous. You’ll be halfway through the book and have to look at the cover to see which book it is you’re reading. There have been times when I would have sworn I’d read a book before – when, in actuality – it was a new book… just old material and worn out thoughts.

With The Skinny on Willpower, How to Develop Self Discipline, I certainly didn’t have to look at the cover any! This book is a very refreshing and fun read. I hope you’ll find a copy asap and devour every word. It won’t take long to do so as the book reads incredibly fast. But it stays with you forever.

I’ll end with an excerpt from the book, itself. In one of the strongest parts of the book, the author lays out the three key steps you need to take in order to prepare yourself to be able to sustain the resolve you need to accomplish a goal.  The first step he gives is, “Take Your Temperature.”

Page 67:  TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE:

No, not that kind of temperature.  What we mean is ask yourself how badly you want to achieve your goal.  One of the most famous self improvement authors (Napoleon Hill) speaks to the need for “a desire of white-hot intensity,”  In other words, do you really, really want to achieve your goal?  The good news is that if you do, you can almost stop reading.

You know the expression, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”?  Well, many achievement authors would say the same thing a little differently.

“Where there’s a will, there’s willpower.”

In other words, if you want something badly enough, your internal programming (for survival) will kick in and help you find the self-discipline you need along the path to your goal.

But don’t kid yourself.  If your temperature is not high enough – if you do not want something badly enough – why bother?  Your willpower will fade when the going gets tough – and whenever you seek something of value, the going will always get tough. The Skinny on Willpower, How to Develop Self Discipline by Jim Randel – pages 66 – 67

Attitude: The Heart and Soul of Everything

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Chuck Swindoll on the importance of attitude:

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home, or an individual.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day. We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

“I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.” I completely agree with Mr. Swindoll on that one. How often do we compound a bad situation – making it much worse than it needs to be?  About as often as we make mountains out of ant hills!

Last night, I was lying in the floor with my cat Alexa – watching a little football and nursing a MAJOR toothache (my cooking marathon included about a gazilion Advils, two gazillion salty mouth rinses, and a couple billion, “Owwwww’s,” all of which did nothing – then I sat at the feast with my loved ones and couldn’t even eat!).  I heard my husband at his computer (which is in the middle of what surely must be a slow death).  After an ominous “restarting” sound from the computer, I heard my husband say something like, “Yes.  That’s what I was hoping you’d do.”

No throwing pens, no turning the air blue… just a little sarcastic jab at a machine that deserved much more.  I asked him if he was encouraging it now and he said it didn’t do any good to do anything else.

True enough.   I’ve said it many, many times on this blog – and even more times in my day to day life:  Sometimes you just have to say, “It is what it is. ”  It’s one of my most used phrases and, somehow, it always helps.  Another of my favorites is, “If this is the worst thing that happens to me this year, I’ve got it made.”

Bad, unsavory, and sometimes even ugly things are going to happen to us and around us.  And if you’re still waiting for life to be fair…. excuse me while I chuckle.  The amazing thing is, it’s well within our power to make these things worse or better.  “I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I’m about to launch on what can only be called a cooking marathon. Right before holidays in our home, I can be found in the kitchen surrounded by pots, pans, mixers, wooden spoons, flour, dough, and a cat fixated on my every fascinating move. In fact she’s looking at me right now like, “Don’t you know how much we have to do? Let’s get this thing started!”

She has granted me a few minutes, however, to wish you and your loved ones a beautiful Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy every second of this special holiday. Soak it in, from the Macy’s Parade and football games to the Sweet Potato, Pumpkin pies, yeast rolls, and dressing. Speaking of yeast, I really have to get that dough going.

Happy Thanksgiving! Make beautiful memories and enjoy the time with your family. Treat them like the treasure they are. As for the food… eat up! We’ll worry about the calories Friday.

Love,
Joi

61 Ways to Feel Happier During the Holidays

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The holidays can be either the happiest time of the year or the saddest.  For those who have reasons to feel sad (lost loved ones, grown children, divorce, a recent break up, loved ones who’ll be away from home on Christmas…), all of the ridiculously happy faces only add to their own unhappiness – Why can’t I feel as happy as everyone else? If you recognize yourself in this scenario, don’t give up hope just yet.  You don’t have to face Thanksgiving and Christmas with a frown on your face or a tear in your eye.

Below are some suggestions for putting the Happy back in Happy Thanksgiving and the Merry back in Merry Christmas.  A lot of them would actually work for any time of the year – after all, the blues aren’t exclusive to the Holiday Season!

  1. Number one for a reason:  Buy and wrap new toys for the different Toys for Children programs in your area. Find the prettiest, brightest Christmas paper (or bags) you can find and let the joy that they’ll bring to underprivileged children fill your heart and soul.  Think about their little faces lighting up and about the fact that they’ll have something to brag about to other kids about when they go back to school.  Blues? What blues?
  2. Go to your local animal shelter and adopt a couple of new babies! It’s just not possible to be miserable when you’re giving a wonderful new life and home to a couple of precious cats or dogs.  Buy them new fluffy beds, bright food and water bowls, and (of course) toys.
  3. If cats or dogs are out of the question for some reason, head off to a local pet store. You’ll find hamsters, guinea pigs, and a host of little cuties looking for love.
  4. Work a puzzle.
  5. Buy a coloring book and crayons and don’t worry about staying inside the lines.  Extra points if you grab one with Santas, Elves, and candy canes.
  6. Make homemade boiled custard.
  7. Go to Starbucks for a special latte of the season.
  8. Take someone who always makes you laugh out to lunch.
  9. Take a ride around town with the radio blaring.  Sing out loud to each and every song.
  10. Watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
  11. Go up to a department store Santa and ask, “So, what do you want for Christmas?”
  12. Watch re-runs of your favorite sitcoms. I Love Lucy, Sanford and Son, Andy Griffith, Roseanne, Friends… If it tickles your funny bone, give it a chance to do so.
  13. Volunteer.
  14. Make taffy.
  15. Bake sugar cookies  and cut them into wonderful different shapes.
  16. If you have a blog, give it a new look. Change the colors, graphics, or whatever.  Mixing things up can be fun.
  17. Check with a local nursing home. See if it’d be okay to give each resident a cute little snowman or Santa.If you’re allowed to do so, deliver each one personally and visit for as long as they’ll have you. I don’t even have to tell you how much this would mean.
  18. Put up a Christmas tree with the gaudiest, most pimped out decorations you can find! (On a safety note, if you have pets, skip the garland and silver icicles.)
  19. Move that body! Pop in an exercise dvd, ride a stationary bike, or clean house with a vengeance.  Physical activity releases feel good endorphins that’ll have you back in the fa la la la la in no time.
  20. Go see The Blind Side while it’s in theaters. After that, buy the dvd. Also, read about the family behind the movie.
  21. Make a list of the people and things you are thankful for.
  22. Make a list of the people in your life. Now go back and, for each one, think about one of the times they made you laugh out loud.  In no time at all, you’ll be laughing out loud again.
  23. Make someone’s day. Compliment a loved one, cook their favorite meal, bake their favorite cookies, or write them a heart-felt note telling them how much they light up your world.
  24. Don’t over-expect. Real life is not Little House on the Prairie.  People generally don’t stand around the table singing carols, spew lovely little speeches, or hug out of the blue.  If my family behaved this way I’d think someone had spiked their egg nog. Accept and love your family just the way it is.  Yes, they’re quirky.  Sure, they leave their socks all over the place.  No, they don’t say “Thank you” nearly often enough – but they’re your’s and you love them, quirks and all.  (Besides, if we were to be honest, don’t we own a few quirks ourselves?)  Also, don’t over-expect with yourself.  You are going to flat wear yourself out if you try to bake every recipe in your favorite cookbook and you’ll flat ruin yourself if you try to get everyone all of the presents you want to get them.  Dial down!
  25. Be sure you get enough sunlight. Open up the blinds and let the sunshine in.  It can make a real difference in how you feel.
  26. Did you know that learning something new can lift even the nastiest mood?  Pick a subject that you know very little about and research the heck out of it.  It’ll give your brain a great workout and your spirits will soar.  Learning feels good, pure and simple.
  27. Give! Contribute to charity of your choice = you help others AND it feels wonderful.
  28. Chocolate. I’m not even kidding – eating chocolate is a shortcut to a better mood.
  29. Well, that’s Bananas! Science has proven that eating a banana can make you feel more relaxed.  This fun fruit contains tryptophan, which helps the body manufacture serotonin.  Serotonin is a natural relaxant.  What s more, low levels of serotonin tend to go hand in hand with depression.  Monkeys are on to something here.
  30. Get plenty of rest. Sometimes what we think are “blues” are actually just the “drags.”  During this time of year we actually need MORE rest, yet we tend to get less.
  31. Get as much fresh air as possible.
  32. Eat healthy foods.
  33. Smile even when you’re in the room alone.
  34. Find a church home. Having a church home and family are wonderful blessings – but for the individual who is feeling lonely, they could make all the diffenece in the world.
  35. Research your family’s history. You’ll probably meet some very interesting characters along the way.It’s fun and it’s educational.
  36. Take up crafts. My youngest daughter and I were talking about this recently.  We both want to learn to make jewelry and other crafts, we want a sewing machine, and I want to make a huge doll house and fill it with little furniture and people!  The more we talked about it, the more excited we got.
  37. Re-arrange the furniture in your living room.
  38. Wake up a tired room by giving it a whole new look and vibe. If your bedroom has been green and white since Carter was in the White House, but a bright red (or blue, purple, or orange) new comforter and contrasting pillows.  The happier the colors, the better.
  39. Watch Runaway Bride, starring Julia Roberts.
  40. Buy a new, fun set of dishes.
  41. Sing to your cat.
  42. Write a list of your 10 favorite actors, 10 favorite actresses, 10 favorite movies, and 10 favorite all-time television shows.
  43. Watch the Game Show Network.
  44. Set up a Twitter account and tweet like you mean it.
  45. Eat Ramen Noodles. No scientific claims, here.  They’re just kicky. And good.
  46. Give yourself a facial. You can buy some really cool masks at the store – exfoliate, darling.
  47. Go to the driving range and take it all out on the little golf balls.
  48. Play frisbee.
  49. Make ice cream cones.
  50. Build a Gingerbread House.
  51. Stop thinking about what you don’t have and dwell only on what you do have.
  52. Buy bird feeders and fill them with seed. Your yard will soon be a lot more beautiful with colorful little appreciative birds.
  53. Take up yoga. I love myself some yoga.
  54. Buy your dog a new toy and help her break it in.
  55. Have your nails done.
  56. Learn to play a new card game.
  57. Gather your golf buddies together for a game of poker.
  58. Buy a Pilates dvd and have at it.
  59. Make handmade gifts for your loved ones. They’ll appreciate them more than you’ll ever know, and creating them is incredibly fun.
  60. Chill. Be perfectly still and quiet for 20 minutes each day.It gives life a chance to catch up with you!
  61. If something specific, which is out of your hands, is bothering you – crumble it up. Literally.Write it down on a piece of paper (I wish I had more money, I wish my parents were still alive, I wish my home were bigger, I wish I were smaller…. ).  Now crumble up the piece of paper and throw it away.  This symbolic action is a reminder that somethings just have to be let go of.  Carrying around burdens, resentment, guilt, grief – or any host negative emotions – is akin to taking a big gulp of rat poisoning.   I’m convinced that many people stay miserable simply because it’d take a little effort to be any other way.  They somehow manage to get comfortable in this misery.  Make a vow to never let that happen to you.  When you feel even the slightest tinge of sadness, realize that the next move is up to you.  You can lie down with the blues or kick them out of your bed. You look like a kicker to me!

Remember the holidays are to be enjoyed, not complicated.  Relax and enjoy every single minute and every single person.

It probably goes without saying, but I’m never one to let something go unsaid:  These are suggestions for individuals who are feeling blue – not depressed.  We’re referring to a feeling of sadness that has you back on your heels – not the sort of sadness that knocks you completely off of your feet.

If you are so sad that you don’t want to even get out of bed, and if this sadness has lasted more than a few weeks – please see a professional asap.  They can help you.

Your Life is Like a Book

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Your life is like a book. The title-page is your name. The preface is your introduction to the world. The pages are a daily chronicle of your efforts, trials, pleasures, discouragements, ambitions, and achievements. The principal subject of your book may be business, romance, tragedy, comedy, poetry, science, literature, or religion.

Day by day your thoughts and acts are being inscribed as evidence of your success or failure. What you will record on the remaining pages of your book is of vital importance. Hour by hour the record is being made which must stand for all time.

One day the word “Finis” must be written. Let it then be said of your book that it is a record of noble purpose, generous service, and work well done. – Grenville Kleiser, Inspiration and Ideals (1917)