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The One Superpower We All Have… The Power to Choose

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Quote About Choices and Decisions
Who is your favorite superhero? Batman, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, the Black Widow, Spiderman, Superman, Iron Man, Hawkgirl? With all due respect to all caped heroes and heroines, my top three are Hawkgirl, Iron Man, and Batman.  Though, after seeing the new trailer for Wonder Woman, I have a feeling my “top 3” is about to become a “top 4.”

That lasso, man.

We all love superheroes because they have this incredible amount of nobility and endless power they use for the good of mankind.

While we mere mortals may have varying degrees of nobility, we do have something in common with superheroes – we have our own superpower and can most certainly use it for good. This superpower is the power to choose.

I don’t know about you, but I often abuse my power. I am often confronted with two choices and exercise my superpower poorly by making the wrong choice.

We all struggle with the power to choose simply because we are, in fact, mere mortals.

Quote About Making Good Choices
Situation 1: We’re confronted by someone who is clearly in a bad mood. We have enough sense to SEE that but do we have enough sense to get out of the way? Not always. In fact, very often we charge right in, making a bad situation worse by responding to their harsh words with even harsher words. We take our power to choose and blow it to bits. In doing so, we take a bad situation and elevate it to a terrible situation – benefiting absolutely no one.

Situation 2: We can choose to take a walk or do a little yard-work – getting sunshine, fresh air, and exercise at one whack… or we can choose to stay inside and play a game online. How often do we make the wrong choice with this one? And let’s not even get into food choices!

Situation 3: We witness negativity and ugliness on social media. We can choose to rise above it and try to set an example for the immature mortals around us… OR we can get right down on their level and go toe to toe with them. When we make this poor choice, don’t we just increase the number of jackasses? 

The examples go on and on, but you get the idea. We have endless opportunities daily to exercise our superpower. The opportunities are so great that I’d never want to even attempt to count them. Our day is filled with moments and our moments are ripe with opportunities.

Life is the Sum of All Of Your Choices

How do we make better choices?

  1. The first step to making better choices is simply to acknowledge you are, in fact, making a choice. Take the first and last situations above, for example. If we were to train ourselves to be more mindful, we could train ourselves to pause before reacting to others. In that moment of pausing, we could then ask ourselves, “Is this the person I want to be? Do I want to mirror their behavior or aim higher than that?”
  2. The second step is to breath in, breath out and choose well. Ask yourself, which choice is “worthy of me?”  and which choice will “be best for me and others involved?” When it comes to most choices, the decision has to be made within seconds. You don’t always have time to sit down and write out a “Pros and Cons” outline (though I gotta admit, I love those). You have to recognize that you have a choice, then you have to make the one that is worthy of you, best for you, and best for everyone involved. Not the choice that feels good in the moment – but the one that’ll feel good after the moment has passed – because the rest of your life is a heck of a lot longer than that one moment.

If we were to acknowledge the power given to us each time we have a choice, perhaps we’d make smarter choices. Smarter choices = better life.

Wonder Woman would approve.

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Make Choices that are Worthy of Who You Are
 

 

Choices: Good or Bad, They Pen Your Autobiography

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Quote about Choices
I read an article this morning by a mother who’d recently taken her 15 year old daughter to the DMV for her permit’s license.

Here’s an excerpt:

Yesterday I sat at the DMV with my 15 year-old daughter while an officer talked to Ashley about how important it is to make good choices. She was getting her learner’s permit and entering the often scary world of teenage drivers. “We’ve had 320 teens killed this year in fatal car accidents so we want to do everything possible to keep you safe,” the officer said sternly as she highlighted for Ashley all the many rules for new drivers. Then she suggested signing a contract with her parents incorporating these rules.

I’ve never wanted to hug a DMV officer. But, it was all I could do not to reach across the desk and throw my arms around her. My husband and I wrote a driving contract that we’ve made each of our teenaged children sign. I’m sure our kids have thought our contract to be a bit over the top. After all, none of their friends have had to sign such a document with their parents. So, it was good to hear another adult speak truth into the life of my child. –   Lysa Ter Keurst

The author or, more importantly, the mother went on to explain how her daughter was encouraged to make RIGHT decisions when behind the wheel of a car as opposed to WRONG, SILLY decisions such as texting, playing music too loud, acting foolish, taking pictures of herself or friends, and so forth.  You know, the sort of things that lead to the hospital.  Or worse.

I’ve been thinking a lot about choices lately, this article just kind of brought all of these thoughts full circle. As the old saying goes, choices are the hinges of destiny.  When we make bad choices, the odds of opening bad doors go through the roof.  Karma exists and she has teeth.

How can reasonably intelligent people make so many poor choices?  I’ve often asked myself this question and can’t say that I have any answers.  Either they aren’t as intelligent as they’re given credit for OR they fall for lies like I fall for chocolate – hard and every time.

Here’s an example:  Jersey Shore.  Plenty of people are going to hate me (and probably out loud) for this – after all, it’s a very popular show.  I, for one, am not AT ALL happy about that fact.  Here’s why.  The “cast” of Jersey Shore is known for doing two things on/off the show:

  1. Drinking – a lot.
  2. Sleeping around – a lot.

Our young people are watching this show religiously.  They’re laughing about it.  They’re dressing, tanning, and doing their hair like the Jersey Shore cast.  The show is a “reality” show but, like a lot of reality shows, it’s played up a great deal.    Problem is, a lot of young people don’t “get” that.   They see these people who come into their living rooms and bedrooms each week as funny, cool, and hot.  They’re trying to emulate them and I don’t have to tell you how that should scare the wits out of parents… all adults, for that matter.  Seriously, do we want a generation of people making nothing BUT stupid choices?!?!  What do any of these people do to make the world a better place?  How do they help those who can’t help themselves?

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” – Albert Camus

Bad Choices

Let’s take drinking alcohol. How, in any shape or form is that a good choice? Drinking isn’t smart, it isn’t cool, and it certainly isn’t pretty. Drinking, followed by driving… I’m sorry, but that’s simply ignorance in its lowest form.

How about promiscuity? Sexually-transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and hideous reputations lie on the other side of this particular door. Pretty?  Hardly

Drugs? Smoking?  Again, poor choices that don’t lead to anyplace worth going.

Drinking, drugs, and smoking harm the individual physically, mentally, and emotionally. Poor choices tend to do that – in spades.  So, why do people keep doing them?!?!  Again, I think they fall for the LIES.  They see silly, ridiculous celebrities and reality-show stars doing it and they foolishly fall for the image… “OH! This is what cool people do.  This is the only way to have fun.”

LIES.

I’m sorry if I’m preaching.  I really am.  I’m not trying to because (A) It’s not in my nature and (B) I’m not the least bit qualified to do so!  I simply want to see humans prove that they’re capable of making good choices.  As a mother, I admit my heart goes out mainly to young people.  I can’t help it – I just want to gather everyone under the age of 30 in a room and plead with them to make good choices in their life.  I want to tell them how precious their life is and how they can use it to actually do something positive in their life as well as in the world.  These young people who are so passionate about taking their pictures and posting them on Facebook… who are so passionate about hitting up weekend parties… who are so passionate about watching Jersey Shore – I wish I could make them see that they deserve more from life than that.

And it deserves more from them.

I’d love to introduce them to children with very special needs, animals who are being mistreated and neglected, abused women and children, patients who are undergoing chemo, young people who are being bullied because they’re so-called different, and so forth.  I’d love for them to see all of the needs in the world.  NEEDS that they could help take care of if they’d step outside of themselves and stop making bad decision after bad decision.

Good Choices

Two of my daughters (Emily and Stephany) and I were talking recently about taking a stand for someone or something in life.  Each of these girls does just that.  I’m ridiculously proud of them for that.  Not only do they avoid BAD choices (neither smokes or drinks, and Tylenol’s their only drug), they avoid people who make BAD choices. That’s key.  What’s more, they make GOOD choices.   Emily works with children who are challenged and feels particularly drawn to the Muscular Dystrophy cause.  She’s “all about” every cause or organization that seeks to help improve the lives of children. She understands how precious children are and would fight a zombie clown for a child she’d never met.

The clown wouldn’t stand a chance.

Stephany is my tree hugger.  She’s passionate about conservation, the environment, and saving every animal on the planet (wonder where she got that from?).  Like her mom, she often goes in a direction that some would call “too far.”  For example, she’s on an anti Swamp People crusade!  That’s my girl.  If you ask me, it’s better to go too far than to not go at all.  Steph always lets me know about what Madonna is up to – things like providing fresh water for communities, etc.   Someone who’s music I loved as a teenager is now inspiring my youngest daughter in a positive way.  I love that.

The Material Girl is using her materials to make the world a better place.

Like Angelina Jolie and other celebrities, it’s like the light kicked on.  They realized that there was far more to life than celebrating themselves or making money.  They realized that true happiness and joy come from improving other’s lives, not your own.

My middle daughter, Brittany, wasn’t with us on this particular walk and talk fest.  However, Britt also cares about making a difference in the world.  She feels passionate breast cancer research and autism.  I remember years ago, while we were homeschooling, she read about Autism in a health textbook.  It spiked her interest, so I had her do a research paper on the subject.  She fell in love with autistic individuals!  I believe she’s read every book ever written about autism.

Personally, my own causes are Down’s Syndrome, animal protection, world hunger, Muscular Dystrophy, bullying, heart disease and cancer research.  Each one of us FEELS for all of the needs, but we’ve chosen our own particular fights.  I honestly wish everyone would find what they feel most passionate about in life and follow that cause.  Support the cause(s) financially, with word of mouth… basically in any way you can.  Place badges and banners on your websites, blogs, Facebook, and Twitter pages.  Even if it takes making a pest out of yourself – sometimes that’s what it takes to get the job done!

Right, good, positive choices.  They’re better for the individual, the community, and the world in general.

Another cause I’ve really taken up is battling the drinking epidemic in young people.  Again, I don’t mind making a pest (or worse) out of myself.  In fact, I kind of insist upon it. I don’t want young people (or old ones, for that matter) throwing their lives away with one of the dumbest choices known. Keep your head and wits about you – stay in the game!  Ask Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson how cool drinking really is. It looks a hot mess if you ask me.

“The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.” – David Russell

Think about the quote above, it’s a beaut.  Sometimes, I believe, people can “burn” bad bridges simply by choosing a better bridge.  If you have bad choices in your life (it could even be something unrelated to one of the things we talked about – it could be anger issues, bigotry, overeating, gambling, overspending…) – call them out on the floor!  Make a decision to burn that bridge and cross a better bridge.  Take up a new, positive hobby or – better yet – a cause you feel passionate about.  If you’re burning a particular bridge that you KNOW others are on… why not take up the cause?!  After all, you know the pitfalls, the temptations, and so forth.  Pull a Harriet Tubman and go back for others who are in bondage.

You could make a positive difference in the lives of others.  What a legacy!

It’s time for the ME generation and the FACEBOOK generation to wake up and take a look around.  There’s more to life than you and more important things than letting the good times roll. Snap out of it and lend a hand.

A final thought about decisions and choices.  If you’re on the fence about something, or waving back and forth like an autumn leaf on a tree – remember this:  With time, indecision becomes decision. If you’re indecisive about making your life COUNT for something – you’re actually making your decision.  You’ve decided that it will count for nothing.

Talk about a tragedy.

If you have any special causes or crosses you’ve personally taken up, use the comments section to bring attention to them.  That’s how all great progress begins – bringing attention to the need.  If you are interested in finding a cause that needs you, first of all GOOD FOR YOU!  Second of all, one of the first places I’d go is http://pujolsfamilyfoundationblog.org/

Drug abusers young and old alike would do well to consider joining a drug addiction recovery program to completely eliminate drugs from their lives.

The Truth of Consequences with a Killer Quote by Gary Ryan Blair

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In a section dealing with consequences in Cameron C. Tayor’s great book Cameron C. Taylor, Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom, he snaps the reader awake with the following quote by Gary Ryan Blair: “Every choice carries a consequence. For better or worse, each choice is the unavoidable consequence of its predecessor. There are not exceptions. If you can accept that a bad choice carries the seed of its own punishment, why not accept the fact that a good choice yields desirable fruit?”

As parents, we try to instill this basic lesson into our children. If they step outside of the lines, they face some sort of penalty. Whether it’s time spent in a “time out” chair, going to bed early, or the loss of a favorite program – we, in our own way, get our kharma on and let them know the reality of consequences.

I suppose where we all mess up most is consistency. As the quote above says, “There are no exceptions.” – But, parents get tired, don’t we?!!

Unfortunately… fate? He never tires. Never even breaks a sweat.  We don’t have to look far for proof of that:

  • Think about the weight problems in our country.   A direct consequence of fast food, poor eating habits (such as fast, easy meals rather than healthy, homemade vegetables, soups, etc.) and too much time in front of a screen of some sort.
  • Think about how people struggle from paycheck to paycheck.  Overspending and refusing to “live within one’s means” can be thanked for a lot of these problems.  The economy is, of course, suffering its own consequences – but, let’s be honest, most of us don’t exactly help ourselves.
  • Think about all of the broken relationships around you.  In a society that’s geared toward “Me, me, me” – it’s little wonder that few people put anyone else ahead of themself.   One of my own personal pet peeves is selfishness.  “MEitis.”  The MYSpace generation gives me a knot in my stomach, quite frankly.  When anyone has to be their own press agent, there’s a problem.  Oh, look!  Pictures of ME… glorious ME!  Sonofagun, who knew that camera would be here?  Wait… oh, I’ m holding it, that’s right. Watch ME dress up.  Watch ME dress down.  Watch ME watching ME dress up.  I dunno, I’m just kind of, like, silly like that….  Oh, I think I’ll jump off of that one before a post in a post happens.  I remember when someone wanted a camera for taking pictures of other people, places and things.  I’m just saying.
  • Think about the recent election.  Sometimes, we can even get the luxury of paying for someone else’s consequences.  John McCain didn’t lose the election.  The man seems, to me, incapable of personally losing anything.  Heroes roll like that.  Sarah Palin didn’t lose the election for him.  Not all of us agreed with everything she  hunted did – but most of us respected her and fiercely defend her right to her own beliefs.  Most of us also know what cost Mr. McCain the election.  Consequences brought about from others in his political party.

No one can escape consequences.  Not even American heroes.  “There are no exceptions.”

Cameron C. Taylor gives a great example of Consequences on page 60 of Does Your Bag Have Holes?. He was speaking at a prison to a group of inmates. One gentleman in particular was asking Mr. Taylor about success. Namely, how could he (imprisoned for being involved with illegal drugs) ever hope to achieve the level of success that this well-respected author and speaker has achieved. Mr. Taylor had the inmate join him in a demonstration. They both stood on a table and, on the count of three, jumped off. Neither had wings, so they both hit the floor!

“I continued teaching that the law of gravity affected both of us the same regardless of age, gender, race, or upbringing. This is also true of the laws of success. They are the same now as they were in the past and will be the same in the future. Our knowledge about these laws may fluctuate, but their principles and application will never change. Anyone can be successful, because anyone can learn and follow the laws of success.”

It comes down to choices. When we make our choices, we make our consequeces. If we eat too much, exercise too little, and order too many calorie-laden drinks at Starbucks (What?! Who said that?!?!) – we choose to have a weight problem.

If we neglect to budget our money and buy impulsively (There they go again!) rather than intelligently, we’ll come up short again and again. And again.

We should start making better choices, wiser choices – so we can, in turn, expect better consequences.

Edit: I put my money where my mouth was (literally) when I ran to the store today. Instead of my regular amazing Starbucks drink (which hovers around 400 calories and is over $4), I grabbed a hot Wild Sweet Orange Tea. It cost less than $2 and came to the party with absolutely no calories. Yay! What’s more, it was absolutely delicious. I’ve also had them combine 1 bag of Passion Tea with 1 bag of the Wild Sweet Orange Tea before. Also amazing, and also 0 calories.

Little GOOD choices add up just the same as little BAD choices. But only one will lead anywhere worth going.