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New Habits, New Years Resolutions, and a New Way of Looking at Both

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Good habits are worth being fanatical about. -John Irving

“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” ~ John Irving

I recently went down the rabbit hole-searching everything I could get my eyes on about new habits. Not to be confused with breaking old habits.. presumably bad since one wants to break their legs! That’s a whole other subject. I wanted to research the daylights out of new habits and I did just that.

I sought out information, opinions, quotes, graphs, and even infographics about new habits…

  • how they form
  • how long they take to become almost “automatic”
  • what gets in the way of forming positive new habits
  • how to set yourself up for success with your new habits
  • etc etc etc!

What got me on this kick? The first thought I entertained about New Years Resolutions. I happened to be thinking about getting yoga back into my life. Long story, short… For over 20 years, I did yoga daily for at least 30 minutes, usually more. Then I developed a hiatal hernia and quickly learned (the hard way) that many yoga poses and hernias do NOT play well together. I just stopped doing yoga altogether instead of wisely ditching the problematic poses and continuing with the rest.

What can I say… the fear of aggravating the hernia was greater than my common sense. Fear always, always, always trumps common sense when you let it.

Recently, I researched the subject and found that doctors, chiropractors, physical therapists, and other experts actually believe certain poses not only won’t hurt a hiatal hernia but may actually help by strengthening the region. So I began doing some poses that don’t involve rousing the sleeping beast (Lady Hernia) and fell in love with yoga all over again.

It’s been hard to incorporate it into my life, which is odd because it used to be as much of a habit as brushing my teeth. I found that some poses that I used to be able to easily hold for the count of 45 seconds made me as wobbly as a newborn colt after a mere 5 seconds. I thanked God, above, at that moment for making me a hardheaded gal who isn’t easily discouraged. Combined with always being up for a good challenge, I didn’t get discouraged (although it would have been easy to). I simply thought, “I’m making it a resolution to do at least 15 minutes of yoga each day… then build from there.”

Initially, I was thinking about this being a 2022 resolution, but then I thought, “Why wait?!”

I’ve been doing carefully selected yoga poses for a few weeks and can already hold most of them twice as long as when I restarted. Hey, that’s something!

I knew (from previous readings) that most people agree that it takes around 3 weeks to build a new habit successfully. So, with that reasoning in hand, it occurred to me – wouldn’t right NOW be the time to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions, as opposed to New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day? If we start trying to form positive, healthy, new habits now, by the time the new year rolls around, we will have an absolutely beautiful head start.

Even if we only tackle one of our resolutions right now, if we make it a daily habit, it’ll free up more time and energy for other habits.

It also give us a healthy dose of much-needed confidence!

Make each moment count double! ~ Joi (“Joy”)


A Great Quote About Habits by a Self Help Daily Favorite, Grenville Kleiser

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Beautiful Horizon

“New habits make new horizons. Silently and imperceptibly you are forming habits which will ultimately determine the degree of you happiness and success.

Closely guard the quality of your thoughts, that they may lead to right habits and thence to right living. Recognize and use such supreme qualities as courage, faith, humility, loyalty, temperance, and integrity.” – Grenville Kleiser, Inspiration and Ideals, 1917

New habits make new horizons. What an amazing quote, what an amazing lesson.  I honestly don’t have anything to add to what Grenville Kleiser said in 1917.

Click the following link  for an article I just wrote on Out of Bounds.  But first, write down Kleiser’s quote!

The Pursuit of Happiness or How to Be Happy

Overcoming Bad (Seemingly Small) Habits

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Svenn

Svenn

A few days ago, my male cats (Bo and Svenn) were helping my in the yard.  The disastrous ice storm here in Kentucky did a real number on trees, and since we have a virtual forest in our yard, we had limbs and branches down like you wouldn’t believe.  It honestly looked as though a tornado had torn through.

My husband was out of town and I thought he’d be glad to see a lot of the work done when he came back.  My boys followed me every step of the way.  They were delighted with the entertainment and I loved the company.

They watched as I dragged most of the heavy limbs and carried the ones that could be carried.  Some were so heavy they had to stay right where they were.  The rabbits under one of them appreciated it greatly.  My brave, tough boys just peeked through the branches at the rabbits and turned away.  Fortunately for the rabbits (and for me who would have tried to stop it), my only cat who would have given chase and sent fur flying is now a house cat.

Her brothers are big softies.

It wasn’t long before I realized that, although the large limbs had to be dragged a great distance and taxed what few muscles I own, the small branches were much more of a headache.  They required frequent bending over as I gathered them up and it seemed as though I never gained on them.  They were great nuisances, in spite of their innocent appearance.

Bend over… straighten up… squat down… straighten up..  I found myself preferring the big ones because they required one big tug and that was that.

It occurs to me that many of our habits are like these sticks.  Many of the negative traits or habits that hold us back are usually the small ones.  These “stick habits” add up and can cause some serious damage in our lives.

What are some stick habits or traits?

  • Temper
  • Being judgmental
  • Being too hard to please
  • Laziness
  • Being sloppy
  • Selfishness

It seems to me that when we have large habits, we often find a way to “muscle up” and control them.  We KNOW they’re there, they’re too big to miss!   Some of these include smoking, overeating, not controlling your weight, spending too much money (shhhh), lying, etc.  These big bama jammas are so in your face that we couldn’t ignore them for long if we tried.    All the while we’re looking at these larger ones, the smaller habits just keep lying there, causing a perfect mess.

That’s how it was when I was cleaning the front yard.  I hauled limb after limb after limb – then on one of my last trips back to the front of the house, I noticed that there were only a couple of large limbs left.  My mind started to celebrate by mapping out the rest of the afternoon’s schedule – warm shower, chili for lunch, a pot of coffee, an Andy Griffith episode, perhaps a second warm shower (what can I say, I was freezing).  Then when I pulled away a few of the big limbs, I noticed what had to be a gazillion sticks and branches.   Andy and Barney were going to have to wait.

Our “Stick Habits” Keep Us.

  • They keep our relationships from being as close as they could be.
  • They keep us from moving up the ladder at work.
  • They keep us from having the things we want.
  • They keep us from making the world a better place.
  • They keep us from being as happy as we could be.
  • They keep peace and contentment at arm’s reach.

Take a good close look at your negative habits.  Not the big ones (at least not this time), lean in close and observe the small ones.

Once the stick habits are there in plain view, pick them up and throw them out of your life. Naturally, breaking a bad habit isn’t as easy as picking up a stick lying on the ground in front of you.  Especially if it’s a habit that’s been “in place” for years.

These are the toughest to get rid of because it feels like they’ve “taken root!”

The trick is to… wow, can’t believe I”m having to say this… stick with it.  If you were to carry a stick to a pile, you’d need to keep your fingers wrapped around it the entire time, right? If not, it’d fall to the ground.  When you’re dealing with a bad habit, you have to keep your fingers wrapped around its neck the whole time. If not, it’ll take YOU to the ground.

Keep telling yourself that you’re bigger, smarter, and infinitely more powerful than this “little” habit.  Realize that you, after all, created it – not the other way around.  What’s more, if you created it, you can destroy it.

Just remember to keep your fingers on the stick. Don’t let go.  They say it takes 3 weeks (or 21 days) to BREAK a habit or to “cement” a new habit.  Keep your eye on the calendar, even if its the one in your mind. There’s an end to the road, just like there’s an end to yard work (*Insert sigh of relief right here) – the trick is just to keep going.

A few tips that I’ve found very useful when breaking bad little habits:

  • Develop a good new habit in its place.  Example: If you have a bad habit of going through drive thrus for fries (but they’re soooo goood), start getting a big iced tea or coffee instead.
  • Outsmart yourself. Example: If you bite your nails, start meticulously manicuring them.  If you wear nail polish, polish them with the prettiest color imaginable – you’ll find yourself less willing to mess up your work of art.
  • Regroup.  Example: Bad temper? Make a new habit of taking a deep breath, collecting your thoughts and regrouping. Calmness is a beautiful thing and I”m pretty sure you’ll fall in love with the feeling.

Mark my words, it will make a huge and profound difference in every area of your life when you break even the smallest bad habit.  Cast them away so far that you can’t even see them any more, then do everything in your power to make sure that nothing carries them back into your life.  It won’t be long before people around you notice the difference as much as you do.

A lot of hings that were so wrong will suddenly be so right.

 

Bo

Bo

 

How to MAKE Good Habits, While BREAKING Bad Habits

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You are what you do.
Habits are to your life pretty much what gas is to your car. They keep you moving along – but whether they carry you to a better place or not depends entirely on the habit.

Bad habits can hold talented people back while good habits carry less talented people on ahead.

Many, many posts can be written on bad habits (in fact, they have), but essentially, we’ll get rid of our bad habits when we’ve finally had enough of them. I don’t want to spend too much time with bad habits in this post, I’d rather approach habits with another tactic – by focusing on good habits.

How about this? Let’s apopt so many great habits that we put the squeeze play on bad habits. I’m thinking that if we add about 10, that’ll leave less room for the bad crowd. I remember a television special about healthy eating that aired a few years ago. A nutritionist pointed out that if you fill your plate up with healthy vegetables and fruit, you actually get to eat more food. All you have to do is replace the unhealthy food with healthier alternatives – and you almost always get to enjoy more of the healthy food.

“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.”  – Yiddish Proverb

The good squeezes out the bad, so you’re left with a double-sided win: You get rid of things that are bad for you and you make room for things that are good for you.

So what sort of healthy habits could we bring to our life’s plate? Below’s a buffet of suggestions, I know you’ll be able to come up with more. Come up with as many as you want, of course, but remember that “bite-sized” portions are always easiest to handle. Don’t put more on your plate than you’ll actually be able to eat!

  1. Start getting up a little earlier.  I realize that when the weather’s cool it’s really tough to start getting up earlier.  The body wants to sleep later, for crying out loud!  But, I’ve been on both sides of the 6:00 am, and I can say, without hesitation, that every corner of your day will be better if you get a running start at it.  Also, the quiet hours of the morning are the perfect way to glide into your day.  Rushing around after being summoned by a hateful alarm clock isn’t good for the psyche.  Mornings just weren’t meant to be so hectic.
  2. Read more.  When you open a book, you open your mind and literally pour knowledge into it.  Knowledge is power.  Knowledge is power.  Knowledge is power.
  3. Laugh more.  Laughter is great for you – body and soul.  It doesn’t matter if anyone laughs with you, it doesn’t matter if anyone laughs at you.   Just laugh!
  4. Complain less.  Starting tomorrow, do a little self improvement exercise:  Each time you feel tempted to say something negative, make yourself say something positive instead.  I’ve never understood why anyone would want to spread misery and gloominess.  I always wonder, “Do they hate life that much?”
  5. Drink more water.  I read a lot of articles and books about health and there are several things they all agree on (the other is right on this one’s heels at #6!).  One of the things every physician, health expert, nutritionist, and great aunt tells us is this:  Drink more water.  There has to be something to it.
  6. Get at least 30 minutes of activity each day.  Bronchitis has had me in a choke hold for weeks, but I was feeling a lot better today. So I did some intense work around the house.  I expected to feel like I’d been hit by a bus afterwards, but I feel great.  I’d been sitting on my duff and sipping soup for so long I’d forgotten how good it feels to be active.
  7. Stop assuming people know how you feel.  Even if they have an idea, do you know how much it will mean to them if you tell them?   Most of us can recall certain things that our loved ones have said to us that meant the world.  In fact, the words meant so much that we still carry them around with us today.  Maybe it was a dad saying, “I’m SO proud of you.”  Maybe it was a mother telling us that we’re just the daughter/son she’d always hoped for.  Why is it that so often it’s when we’re in the middle of altercations that these sentiments come out?  Then, they’re often followed with a “But…”  Any sentiment followed by a but isn’t much of a sentiment!  This tactic is simply the art of putting conditions on the words.  They certainly aren’t the sentiments we carry with us.  It’s the ones that come out of the blue – not as a prerequisite to what all we’re doing wrong and not to soften any blows.  If you love someone, tell them every single day.  If you’re proud of them, tell them – WITHOUT BUTS!
  8. Put yourself in time-out.   In the same way we put children in “time out” when they show signs of being stressed out or overly tired, we could benefit just as much.  Sometimes our nerves just need to unravel and they can do that better when there isn’t a lot going on. Not only will you benefit by learning to just get away and unwind with a good old-fashioned time out, everyone around you will benefit, too. You’ll spare them the nightmare of watching you throw a temper tantrum.
  9. Become a more aware and cautious driver.   I have to admit that, as a teenager, I tended to drive pretty fast.  But, years ago, I began to slow down and drive oh so much more carefully when I looked around me to see my vehicle surrounded by future drivers.  They’re watching.  What do they see?  Even if there aren’t future drivers with you, paying attention to what’s going on around you can save lives at best, headaches at worst.  Texting while driving, speeding, road rage, playing mind games (“Oh, yeah, if you want to get on my bumper, I’ll just slow down… You wanna hit me? Why, you can just buy me a new car, sucker…“) – these are all things that can get you killed, hurt, ticketed, or arrested.  I don’t think we’re interested in any of those, are we?
  10. Be thankful.  People are filled to their eyeballs with negative thoughts and words lately – but we still have it amazingly good.  I know I don’t have to tell you that – but I’m pretty sure we all need a reminder every now and again.  I remember a shallow little wake up call I got one time while we were living in Florida.  I had put on a tank top and shorts and was complaining to one of my daughters (oh, heck to anyone who’d listen) about my arms.  They weren’t “tank top arms…” etc.  I was cutting them up pretty good.  Then we walked over to the beach and the first person I saw made me want to cry with shame.  She was around 20 and only had one arm.  I’ve never forgotten that day.  And I honestly don’t believe I’ve complained about my arms since.  Either of them.  There’s a lot to said for being thankful for what we have, isn’t there?

When you ADD good habits to your day, you’ll actually BREAK bad habits without even realizing it.  Now go pour yourself a glass of water and read a great book!

“You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’.” – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer