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One Hundred Voices: An Anthology (Review)

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One Hundred Voices Anthology

Earlier I wrote an article on How to Relax and, immediately after publishing it, I thought, “I think I’ll relax and read a few short stories.”

You just have to love irony, don’t you?!

I have always had a special place in my heart for short stories – whether they’re collected in a beautiful anthology like One Hundred Voices (pictured here) or they’re a collection of short stories from one specific author (Agatha Christie, for example), they rock my literary world.

If you’ve read many of my book reviews on Self Help Daily, you probably know that I very seldom write fiction book reviews. I generally concentrate on inspirational, motivational, health-related, self help…. – genres that resonate with the self help blog.

However, a few things occur to me:

  • Reading is one of the most relaxing things you can do. It’s a beautiful little mini vacation where you sort of walk away from all the troubles of the world for a while – just long enough to recompose yourself and come back to reality refreshed and ready to grab it by the… well, by whatever you want to grab the world by.
  • Reading is as beneficial to your brain as it is to your psyche. Somehow, reading fiction is a joyful little workout for your brain cells. As you follow the author’s story, the creative side of your mind becomes FULLY engaged. It begins to say things like, “Will the story go this way?,” “What if this character says this?,” “I can imagine what his neighborhood looks like….” The creative side of our brain, unfortunately, operates on cruise control most of the time. As we go about our daily grind, our creativity simply isn’t frequently called upon. Maybe that’s why reading is so stimulating – we wake up one of the funnest part of our mind – the party animal!

When you take these things into consideration, you realize that reading (whether it’s fiction, non-fiction, or somewhere in between) is phenomenally good for you.  If that’s not self help-y, I don’t know what is.

While I spend, probably, 75 percent of my reading time with historical biographies and other works of non-fiction, I absolutely love fiction.

Beware as the self help diva approaches deep waters..

The fascinating thing is there’s a lot of each fictional author in his or her stories. Whether in short stories or novels, authors pour themselves into the story – their loves, hates, fears, victories, losses, dreams…. Anyone who is (like me) terribly fascinated by humans and the things that make them tick will find this truth to be not just delicious but Strawberry Sundae delicious.

One of the authors in  One Hundred Voices is my oldest daughter, Emily Dill. This young author isn’t just talented, she is ridiculously talented – and, trust me on this if you ever trusted me on anything – I’m not just saying that because I’m her mother.  She is truly a gifted author and everything she writes leaves me speechless.

Not. An. Easy. Task.

I know, firsthand, that Emily pours herself into her fictional stories. Whether it’s her great love for animals (she has two black cats that hung the moon and stars in her and her husband’s world), her love of God, her fascination with graphic novels (favoring heroines and villains – but, seriously, who likes villains??!!), her fanaticism for the Green Bay Packers, her love of children and everything they say or do, or her unrivaled passion for green tea, EACH of her attributes and quirks (I’m looking at you Joker) show up in her stories and I’d wager to say it’s true of all fictional writers.

They may not all be on the surface, but make no mistake about it, they’re there. Why? Because authors pour their heart and soul into their craft. When an author finishes writing a story, there’s often a feeling of BOTH completion and exhaustion.

After pouring themselves body, mind, heart, and soul into creating a fantasy world, they leave nothing on the table – and those of us who read their stories benefit from the whole beautiful process.

Why Short Stories are Extra Special

Like any avid reader, I love a great novel. Getting lost in an Agatha Christie book is a special kind of joy. However, I would be utterly lost without short stories and keep as many around me as possible.

They’re bite-sized tales that stimulate, entertain, and often amaze… all without taking up much of your day. I love that! Sometimes I have time for a couple at one setting and other times, I “break off” one story, then keep on going about my day.

As someone who works from home, I have the luxury of enjoying a short story anytime I feel the need for a mini vacation. I’ll often do just that between online projects, writing articles, cooking, or (ugh) doing household chores.

I may not always have time for a whole chapter of a novel, but I always have time for a short story.

Many anthologies, such as One Hundred Voices aren’t just great to have around the house, they’re great to pop into a bag and take with you, wherever your day takes you.

This particular collection of short stories is absolutely wonderful and is filled with fresh new voices from all walks of life. I am SO grateful that a little bio is included for each author because I love learning more about the person behind the story.

Finally, I love collections like One Hundred Voices so much because of one word: VARIETY.  While we each have our favorite fictional genres (mysteries, historical, science fiction, horror, romance….), there’s a lot to be said for branching out. In fact, my own personal genre now is mystery  – however, when I first fell in love with reading, I only read historical fiction. That was IT.  One fateful day, my mom had an Agatha Christie book setting on the coffee table and I began reading. Before the end of the first chapter, Agatha Christie, mysteries, and Hercule Poirot had me hooked.

It’s nothing short of exciting to branch out and read different genres. Reading the same one would be kind of like going to a carnival and riding only ONE ride. No, thank you, there are far too many to enjoy!

Short Story collections allow you to ride all the rides – now that’s living.

Find One Hundred Voices on Amazon today. – Joi (“Joy”)

 

Samantha by Emily Dill

One Hundred Voices

How to Relax MORE and Stress LESS

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Alexa Chilling

Alexa Relaxes On a Whole Other Level

Relaxation is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Problem is, it can be fleeting. It seems that just when we’re basking in its comforting warmth,  life throws us a curve ball and relaxation is the furthest thing from our minds.  In baseball, the curve ball is one that often catches the batter off guard and he/she usually can’t do a thing with it.

Stressful events are a lot like that – they catch us off guard and we usually don’t know quite what to do with it. Often, like an over-matched batter, we stand there kind of wondering, “What just happened?”

It’s while we’re “standing there” that we have a decision to make. We can adjust and adapt (before the next pitch) or we can be completely overcome and, in effect, take our slow and humbling walk back to the dugout.

If we make a habit of adjusting and adapting, we’ll find ourselves “handling stress” as opposed to being at its mercy.

Like poison ivy, if stress jumps on us, its nastiness just seems to spread.

If we don’t handle stress, it will handle us.

Adjust and Adapt

As I’ve mentioned on the self help blog before, a few years ago, my oldest daughter (Emily) and I had to stop eating gluten and wheat for health reasons. Do you have any idea how many foods contain gluten or wheat? I lost track of the times Emily and I said, “It’s everywhere!”

CURVE BALL.

To have your life greatly changed by something like this is stressful. Over the years, I’ve read many accounts of people in our boat who cried for days and even became borderline depressed.  We didn’t see the need or appeal for either of these reactions – they kind of struck us as extreme.

What we did see the need for was to adjust and adapt.

Back to baseball for a minute (I’m a baseball fanatic, so you can always just assume I’ll be going back at some point) – the best batters are the ones who step up to the plate and are able to adjust and adapt to the game and to the situation.

  • The umpire behind the plate is consistently calling outside pitches strikes – a great batter stops letting them go by.
  • The tying run is at first or second base, a great batter tries to hit behind the runner and move him along.
  • The pitcher has a nasty fast ball and you can tell by the gleam in his eye that he’s about to unleash it – a great batter holds on tight and swings so hard he comes out of his or her shoes!

Adjust to the situation and adapt to the game as it is – not as you wish it was, not as you know it should be. A batter can KNOW the pitches being called strikes in the game are balls but knowing is not going to help him in the least. Arguing with the man behind the plate isn’t exactly going to win him to your side and I’ve yet to see one take the advice of an angry player or manager.

It’s the same with life. We can KNOW that it isn’t fair for a certain situation to crop up, but what are we going to do? Stand there and argue with life… or, worse yet, God? Whether people realize it or not, when they cry for days, have angry outbursts, or get borderline depressed, that’s exactly what they’re doing – they’re trying to argue with life and “win the calls.”

Having to entirely change the way I eat and cook turned my world upside down. For one thing, I am an avid cook, and have been since I was 19. It is a huge part of my identity.

I cook. I bake. I am.

I had always been especially known for my buttermilk biscuits, cakes and pies, homemade sourdough bread, spinach manicotti, and fried cornbread. Let’s be honest, sometimes life seems cruel with its irony.

Not only is cooking a HUGE part of my life, I have a food blog! Suddenly it became a much-altered food blog – just as I became a much-altered cook.

UGLY CURVE BALL.

As if that wasn’t enough, I also do restaurant reviews on Genuine Kentucky. These restaurant reviews are one of the funnest parts of my online web publishing. Going to new restaurants (or old favorites) and trying different food to photograph and write about always made me feel like a kid on Christmas morning! Suddenly I had to accept the fact that the number of restaurants I could now visit was greatly limited as was the food I could enjoy.

I’m still kind of surprised that I didn’t cry for days. Fortunately, I learned long ago that tears don’t help a single thing – they just make your cheeks wet and your eyes red. What does help is… you guessed it…  adjusting and adapting.

Long story short – I still love doing restaurant reviews (even though they’ve been limited for obvious reasons) and I love cooking even more than I did before. I guess the part of me that loves a challenge stepped up to the plate and begged for the fast ball.

Sometimes I’m silly like that.

Stress isn’t just bad for our emotional health, it’s horrible for our physical health. What’s more, it’s a nightmare for our relationships. I could go on for three days about how stress ruins your life, but I think you are already well aware of this, so let’s just move on to what we can do about it.

Relaxation 101: Take a Personal Inventory

To find out if stress has the upper hand in your world, ask yourself the following question:

Do little things seem to set me off?

Things like unfortunate stop lights, people who pull out in front of you, a barking dog, a crying baby, a restaurant messing up your order, your son’s girlfriend’s piercings, your son’s piercings, and so on are simply NOT worth the energy most people spend on them.

I’m sure you’ve seen people in restaurants pitching embarrassing tantrums because their order isn’t right. Not worth it.

When an individual falls off the handle and comes completely unglued, his/her central nervous system assumes something horribly traumatic has happened in life and reacts accordingly.  If they make a habit of this throughout the week, they’re grossly mistreating their bodies.

It is just so not worth it!

A Few Relaxation Tips and Suggestions:

  1. It may sound ridiculous, but just realizing that you need to relax will help you more than anything. If you keep pinning blame on everyone else and, like an argumentative baseball player, are only interested in “being right,” you have a long road ahead of you.  But if you can honestly say, “I need to relax more.” – You’re on your way. The thing is, you need to remind yourself to relax every single day. Some days, it may take a couple dozen reminders. Your health and your happiness depend upon you finding a way to adapt to the situation and adjust your reactions. Angry because the line at the grocery store is taking too long, ask yourself, “What’s my hurry? Where do I have to be?” You’ll probably discover you aren’t under any time restraints.  Adjust to the situation, grab your iPhone and check your messages, Twitter, e-mail, or Pinterest. Or grab a magazine and read a little – if you grab the right one you might see what a Bigfoot Alien baby looks like. That’s always entertaining.
  2. Put something that makes you smile in a prominent place – a sticker, stuffed animal, picture of a loved one, etc. Each time you look at it, let it serve as a reminder to slow down and enjoy the moment. I have a little stuffed bison on my desk that makes me smile whenever I look at him.  A while back we had a problem with hackers on several of our sites and I got to the point I seldom took my eyes off of him. I’m just thankful he didn’t get a restraining order.
  3. Stop DEMANDING so much from life and just ENJOY it. It doesn’t take everything in the world to be happy – it just takes being happy and content with your own little world and what and who is in it. A lot of people get so caught up in trying to be life’s director that they forget that they, like the rest of us, are simply part of the cast. Why anyone would want to take on the responsibility of telling restaurants, stores, electric companies, Twitter followers, and everyone in between how to live their life (to better suit THEM) is beyond me. Live your life like the beautiful gift that it is. Don’t find yourself one day at 99 years old wondering why you spend so much time complaining about the little things. Be the 99 year old that’s still smiling because life is and always has been such a hoot!
  4. Take about a dozen really deep breaths when you’re feeling stressed. I’m not sure why this helps to signal relaxation to our bodies, but it does. Unfortunately, most of us take rapid, shallow breaths. This type of breathing makes the rest of the body think we’re in some sort of battle. Slowing our breathing down signals to it that all’s well.  A funny thing about breathing, sometimes we’re actually holding our breath and don’t realize it.  Become more aware of your breathing, and take it to new depths.
  5. If you’re going through a stressful time, or if you feel overwhelmed at work, drink more water. This is something else we don’t do enough of. Our bodies actually require more water than we usually drink, and when we shortchange it, we suffer: Physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nutritionists say that we need more water, especially when stressed. It actually helps, so it’s a very easy and painful proactive thing we can do.
  6. Make sure you’re getting enough rest.  Not just sleep (although it’s glorious and healing) – but also good old-fashioned “down time.” Whether your idea of unwinding is watching tv, reading, or cruising the internet, have at it. Be sure to allow yourself plenty of time to unwind and simply enjoy living in the moment each day.
  7. Keep things in perspective. We blow so many things up that should be allowed to stay the tiny, insignificant little things they are. Sometimes it helps if you put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When the server doesn’t refill your drink as often as you want her/him to – imagine working on your feet 8 hours every day, earning very little pay, and (most frightening of all) having to deal with the public all day. YIKES! Maybe it’ll make you smile and politely ask for another drink rather than stew and mentally deduct from the tip. Don’t be that person.
  8. Play soothing music.  If you have relaxation cds, play them to relax and wind down. If you don’t have any relaxing music in your collection, don’t fret – YouTube has plenty in their’s.  Simply go to YouTube and search for Relaxing Music (or relaxing piano music, classical music, relaxation…).  You’ll literally feel the stress leave your body. One of my favorites is “Japanese Garden Music” – I even listen to it when I’m already as relaxed as a chubby cat (see pic above).
  9. Hang out with your pets. Our precious cats are more than just family, they’re built in relaxation magic.  Simply petting a purring cat or a tail-wagging dog brings your whole body and mind to a calmer, happier, and more relaxed state. If you don’t have a pet, consider heading to your local Humane Society today and adopting one or two! They aren’t just excellent company… they’re family.
  10. Read a good book. Read the Bible, Emily Dickinson poetry, a historical novel, a biography, a National Geographic magazine, or even the comics in your newspaper – whatever floats your boat.  When you slow down long enough to engage your mind in reading, your breathing slows down, your pulse slows down… in essence, your whole world slows down.

For your own health and happiness, as well as those around you – start practicing relaxation tactics immediately. Become an expert at catching yourself as soon as tension begins to build. Tell yourself, out loud, “This isn’t a big deal.” When we focus on situations, we make them so big that they become like huge ogres in the car or room with us. But if we simply say, “Not worth it,” they suddenly shrink.

Adapt. Adjust. Then enjoy life for the beautiful gift it is.

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Positive Thought: Quote About Enjoying Life

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Quote About Enjoying Life
I’m normally a really chill kind of gal – which is just my way of saying I’m a clown with a penchant for the silly things in life and a distaste for the mature things in life. Grow up? I want no part of it. Like my dad before me, I obsess over birds, coffee, and good food and shirk away from being overly serious or “down.”

However, a few days last week I was in what could only be called a funk. It was a funk’s funk. Life has been kind of…. well… unpredictable lately and has thrown me a few curve balls.

I’m not a curve ball hitter. I like them up and a little outside but life didn’t ask first – it just threw one past me. Then another. Then another…

Anyway, I failed to roll with the punches and I found myself stomping through the house one day, getting annoyed with my own foul humor and crabby mood. Thanks be to God that I caught myself before I had to subject anyone else to the stomping and scowling. My cats slept threw it, so I didn’t even have to endure their judging glances.

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.  – Kenneth Branagh

I came to my senses by asking myself, “What is so terrible that it was worth the cost of peace and happiness?” I stumped me, which is always a freaky kind of feeling.

The humor of the moment (as I searched for an answer that I would accept) lightened the mood and the day.  I walked around the yard with my thoughts and came to the realization that NOTHING that was bothering me was anywhere near worth losing a minute of happiness, let alone an entire day. So, I threw the worries over the fence and came back in the house.

If we were to be totally honest with ourselves, we’d admit that many… maybe even MANY of the things we get worked up over simply are not getting worked up over.  It made me think of the Kenneth Branagh quote Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about thing. 

Beautiful, wise words to live by – everyday. Even, maybe even especially, the rotten ones.

Keep smiling and keep laughing! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

Update to the Self Help Resources Page

I recently heard from a veteran ( in the US Marine Corp and US Navy units in the first Gulf War).  Veterans are a group that get my undivided attention and endless respect This Veteran is now one of our Country’s many Disabled Veterans.

He assists Maritime Injury Center in their mission of advocating for mariners and Veterans alike. In this Veteran’s own words, “Now more than ever, I think its important for service members to understand the significance of the Jones Act and how it impacts the captain and crew of merchant ships hauling military cargo in times of engagement. You can find out more about the Jones Act at www.maritimeinjurycenter.com/jones-act/.”

He went on to ask if I would consider adding a link back to MaritimeInjuryCenter.com  on the Self Help and Improvement Resources Page to help advocate for our armed forces, while also educating maritime workers on their rights if they become injured at sea.

Consider it done, sir, and thank you for your service.

 

5 Mindfulness Exercises That Can Help Relieve stress

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In this hectic world of ours it’s easy for thoughts and emotions to be scattered, and we often spend too much time thinking negative or random thoughts, which can be draining. It can also make you more likely to experience stress and anxiety.  Practicing mindfulness exercises, on the other hand, can help you direct your attention away from this kind of thinking and engage with the world around you.

What is mindfulness?

The basic idea of mindfulness is that you bring (on purpose) your awareness to the present moment: your thoughts and your body – without interpretation or judgment.  Thinking about the past, blaming and judging yourself or worrying about the future can generate stress.  But by staying calm and focused on the ‘here and now’, you can bring your nervous system back into balance.

Try these mindfulness exercises, provided by Lloyd Wells – a long-time practicer of the methods, and an aspiring psychotherapy commentator for UK-based CBT, Counselling and Life-Coaching specialist Klear Minds – to get you on your way to relieving stress and learning to live in the present.

  1. Breathe

The act of breathing sounds so basic and automatic it hardly sounds like a mindful exercise for stress relief.  But when feeling stressed or anxious, we tend to take lots of shallow chest breaths, which actually signal your mind and body to feel more anxious.  Slow down and take a deep focused breath.  Let it out slowly.  The simple act of taking a conscious deep belly breath and letting it out slowly has a profound effect on mind and body.  It sends a message to the nervous system to calm down.  It is a wonderful mindfulness based stress reduction exercise that can be done anywhere at any time for immediate stress relief.

  1. Meditate

Mindfulness meditation involves increased awareness of the present moment. With practice, it can be utilized anywhere, and can bring lasting stress relief benefits. This simple meditation technique can be learned quickly and easily.  Sit quietly and focus on your natural breathing or on a word or “mantra” that you repeat silently.  Allow thoughts to come and go without judgment and return to your focus on breath or mantra.  By concentrating on a certain word, your mind is able to shut out any overbearing thoughts that cause you to think too much about certain things.  Focus on your breathing throughout, and you will find your mind is able to quiet and enter a more peaceful place.

  1. Mindful Movements

In addition to all the benefits of mindful meditation, mindful movements, like those found in yoga or tai chi, add a physical element that provides a boost of energy and positive chemicals in the brain and can be a helpful way to reduce stress.  Follow along with a guided video or attend a class in your area.  Instead of treating your practice like a session at the gym, treat it like a meditation where you bring your full awareness to both your physical and emotional sensations as you move through the poses.

  1. Body Scan Exercise

Body scan exercise encourages self-awareness of sensations in your body you might otherwise ignore. When you notice excessive tension in your body, you can consciously relax the muscles in that area. You may not even realize how tense you are until you intentionally bring awareness to your whole body.  Here’s how it works: Lie down, or sit comfortably.  Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and start to ‘scan’ your body.  Bring your awareness to your toes.  If you notice any tension, let it go.  Then, continue the exercise by bringing your awareness gradually to every part of your body until you reach the very top of your head.  By practicing this exercise every day, you can help to reduce tension and stress in the body.

  1. Mindful Awareness

This exercise is designed to cultivate a heightened awareness and appreciation of simple daily tasks and the results they achieve. Think of something that happens often; something you take for granted, like the moment you open your computer to start work.  Take a moment to appreciate the hands that enable this process and the brain that facilitates your understanding of how to use the computer.  Or, perhaps each time you smell food, you take a moment to stop and appreciate how lucky you are to have good food to eat and share with your family and friends.  Instead of going through your daily motions on autopilot, take occasional moments to stop and cultivate purposeful awareness of what you are doing and the blessings it brings your life.

In Summary

Mindfulness exercises can help you ease daily stress by bringing you back to the present moment.  When you are mindful and present, it is not possible to fret about the past or the future, and you are more able to deal constructively with whatever is troubling you.  The above exercises may seem simple, but do not let that fool you.  Sometimes simple things are the most powerful and beneficial, especially when done with intention and focus.

 

4 Ways to Improve Your Happiness at Work

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In a perfect world, your job would provide you with plenty of interesting tasks, the opportunity to use your skills in a rewarding and stress-free way, funny and engaging co-workers and a beefy paycheck at the end of every week.

… but this version of workplace utopia does not reflect the reality of your workplace, at least not most of the time. Sure, you like your job and it helps to pay the bills, but lately you feel more stagnant than inspired and constrained rather than empowered.

Fortunately, there are plenty of tangible and effective things you can do — starting today — that will help you to feel happier in your career. Here are a few great places to start:

Consider Becoming a Part-Time Entrepreneur

In his book “The 10% Entrepreneur: Live Your Startup Dream Without Quitting Your Day Job,” Wall Street expert Patrick McGinnis offers an intriguing idea. Nurture and embrace your entrepreneurial spirit and explore ways to start your own company, while still holding onto your steady job and paycheck. By launching your own side gig, which should be something you truly love to do, you will probably feel more creative, energetic and inspired, while avoiding the financial strain that comes with getting a new business off the ground. There are plenty of low-risk ways to get a side business off the ground. Consider using gig-economy platforms like Handy, Upwork, Amway and others. Using McGinnis’ equation, strive to put four to five hours a week toward your entrepreneurial goals. In time, you may find that you can leave your current job and focus on your new career full time.

Look for Ways to be an Intrapreneur

While entrepreneurs start their own business, intrapreneurs look for ways to better their existing job and company. As Key Differences notes, for some people, being an intrapreneur can be immensely rewarding, and can definitely help boost your workplace happiness. If you have been with your company for some time and are familiar with all aspects of the business, approach your boss about taking on a larger role in improving the workplace and products. Rather than using your own finances like an entrepreneur, the intrapreneur can use the company’s resources to help fund new ideas, redesign the way things are done and make improvements.

Change When and How You Work

Depending on where you work and what tasks you must complete, you might be able to tweak your schedule and responsibilities to make your job more enjoyable. If you’re an early bird who struggles to focus after 4 p.m., talk to your boss about adjusting your shift to match your inner clock. As Work It Daily notes, if you love certain parts of your job more than others, see if you can cut back on the tasks you do not enjoy to emphasize the ones that bring you satisfaction. If you are a journalist who’s tired of writing “negative” hard news stories, you might see about switching your beat to community news or writing for a smaller paper that emphasizes uplifting feature stories.

Reward Yourself Along the Way

An effective way to boost your workplace spirits is to treat yourself for a job well done. As The Muse notes, this can be as simple as promising yourself a fancy iced coffee drink once you finish an especially boring or challenging task, or setting aside a small portion of your paychecks to spring for that new outfit, exercise equipment, electronic device or other goodie you really want.