Positive Thought, Quotations, and Positive Affirmations

Our self help and inspirational blog is all about positive thought! In this section, you’ll find a wealth of articles about positive thought as well as positive thought quotations, inspiration, and affirmations. Positive affirmations are one of the most powerful self growth tools I’ve personally ever seen or used. I know they’ll work for you as well, so read on!

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Dancing in the Rain: A Great Quote About Life

Definitely One of My Favorites... Ah, the Imagery!

by joi

in Daily Quote, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain!This life quote is one worth memorizing!  Some people think they can only be happy when the sun’s out, when the kids are behaving perfectly, when the spouse is saying all the right things, when the cat’s feeling cuddly, and when money’s in the bank. The bad thing is, they don’t end up smiling nearly as much as they scowl.  Expecting things to be perfectly agreeable all the time’s like expecting the sun to shine every day of the year.

The trick is to learn to accept the bad days as well as the good – and to not only accept them, but delight in them.

I’m not perfect (far from it). If you ever saw me try to budget money (or calories), drive in the dark, or carry a tune you’d give me a hearty amen right about now.  However, this dancing in the rain thing? I own it.  I’m an expert at finding “my happy place,” so much so that most of the time people around me don’t even know when I’m burdened with something.  “Well, she’s smiling, dancing and chit-chatting – all must be perfect in her world.”

Once (about 459 years ago), when I was in my twenties – my mom asked me how I kept from allowing a certain family (health) situation to “get to” me.  I told her that it had definitely gotten to me, I just wasn’t letting my face know about it.   After all, I had three little girls – and everyone knows how perceptive these little creatures are.  So the heart was heavy but the feet did all they could to stay light.

When the world seems unreasonable and even ridiculous, do all you can to rise above it.  Think of these storms as your mortal enemies, then catch them off guard and DANCE. They won’t be expecting that.  Advantage: YOU.

Dance On!Dance on!

Bird WatchingIf you’re looking for a new hobby, nothing – absolutely nothing – beats birdwatching.

This is interesting. At least it’s interesting to me. Women tend to prepare and brace themselves for Empty Nest Syndrome years before the last bird has left the nest. I can’t tell you how many times I’ll be two or three “back and forths” into an e-mail relationship when it turns out that the very sad mom I’m talking to still has at least one child at home.  The last time it happened, I tried to wrap myself around the fact and I think the explanation is simple: The relationship between mothers and their children is a very intimate one. You can’t spend the majority of your life nurturing, protecting, and caring for a cherished little person without developing a bond that’s stronger than any single member of the justice league.

Because of this bond, a mother knows the pain and sadness that she will experience when “the day” comes.  That’s what most of us call it, isn’t it? The DAY.   Boom-Boom-BOOM- BOOM (accompanying doomsday music).

It’s sort of like bracing yourself for a flu shot.  You focus so much thought and energy on the needle that, before you know it, that thing is 3 feet long.  You grimace and tighten your arm because a 3 foot needle is going to hurt like the dickens of all dickens.  The problem is, bracing for it makes the pain that much worse.

I’m sure you see where this one’s heading. I’m about as subtle as a 3 foot needle.

When we focus all of our thoughts on “emptiness,” it won’t be long before our room, home, car, or even the very world we live in seem as vacant, quiet, and deserted as a school’s playground in July.

Focus, instead, on what IS – not what ISN’T, and certainly not what you fear will be missing down the road.  Remember the 3 foot needle. If you still have children in your home, begin to fill your life, home, and yard with so much that the thought of “emptiness” never crosses your mind. If your nest is already empty (or in the process of emptying!), you haven’t any time to waste, begin filling it immediately.

Even when my husband’s at work and all the beloved young people we love so much aren’t in the house, I never, ever feel alone.

For example, right now I’m the only human in the house.  But alone? Far from it.  I have two cats sleeping by the back door, one in a chair basking in the sun, and one lying on the desk right in front of me (I have to move her tail out of my way like a billion times a minute… a billion and one).   My front yard is filled with birds, oblivious to the chubby sleeping cat two feet away. I put bird seed on the windowsill by my desk, so I have the constant companionship of doves, goldfinches, sparrows, and cardinals.

A squirrel was at his corn station for about an hour and has now ascended to the top of his favorite tree.

Lonely? Far from it!

The only things I’m thinking about at the moment are:

  • Watching the NFL Draft later today.
  • Baking a cake.
  • Getting more birdseed at the store (doves eat more than any teenage boy ever thought about eating)
  • Updating 3 more websites.
  • Swamp People is on tonight! Choooot!

Someone who read about how I used to walk every day with a few of my daughters asked me if we still went for our walks and talks. I told her that it had dwindled to a few days a week when we could all walk together. She asked what in the world I did without daily “walks and talks.”  I told her, “Silly goose, I still walk and I still talk every day.  The only difference is now I’m always right!”

Chaos vs Calm

I think a lot of people (men and women) have trouble rolling with the flow of life. In my opinion, there are different stages of life and to truly enjoy each one, you have to embrace it.   Not just accept it, not just hug it… you have to wrap your arms around it and squeeze it like it’s a long lost pet.

When our children are little – even teenagers – we’re at an age and place in life where we “fit” the situation.  We’re up to the task! As years go by, we enter the years when we have the luxury of being able to slow down a little. Make no mistake about it, these years don’t mark old age.  40s, 50s, and 60s are far from old age – especially these days. Today they’re like 30s, 40s, and 50s.  What a wonderful age in which we live.

To try to illustrate my point, I’ll use a popular (and outstanding) tv series: Parenthood.  My youngest daughter Stephany and her boyfriend got me seasons of Parenthood for Christmas. Every now and then, on my lunch break, I’ll pop an episode in and my cat and I laugh, cry, and thoroughly enjoy ourselves.

Zeek and Camille Braverman, played by eternal hotties Crag T. Nelson and Bonnie Bedelia (Ha!  My spell-check wants hotties to either be “potties” or “hogties.” To heck with it I’m sticking with hotties. Bonnie Bedelia is not an eternal potty, nor is Craig T. Nelson a hogtie  no matter what my software says.).  Zeek and Camille have grown children who have children of their own.  During just about every episode I’m struck by the stark contrasts between chaos and calm.  You’ll have a scene of one of the adult kids rushing to work while dropping off a small child at school… all while battling the dramas of each.  Then it’ll cut to a scene of  Camille cutting flowers in her garden.

Chaos…. Calm.

You’ll watch as a tense scene unfolds between one of the grown children and her teenage children (cue that doomsday music again!). Drugs, boys, girls, parties… Then it’ll cut to a scene of Zeek in his kitchen drinking a cup of coffee.

Chaos…. Calm.

I happen to be at a place in my life (even if the 40s of today are yesterday’s 30s) when the calm looks infinitely more attractive to me. Infinitely.  Is there a word that means infinitely x 2,000? If there is, insert it here.

If you are currently circumnavigating an empty nest or your children are approaching the age where you see it on the horizon, I’m here to tell you that your world will only be as empty as you allow it to become.  Fill your time with hobbies, pets, trips, passions, interests, and pastimes.  DO NOT focus on what’s missing, focus on what’s there right in front of you.  Remember, calm isn’t such a bad thing and quiet is probably the most underrated word in the entire dictionary.

Find things that make you excited to get out of bed in the morning. If you can’t think of anything that has that effect on you at the moment, it’s simply because you haven’t found it yet. Keep looking! One of the secrets to being happy is surrounding yourself with things that make you smile.

Now if you’ll excuse me. That cake isn’t going to make itself and God knows the birds aren’t going to feed themselves.

A Few Thoughts About Life and Happiness

Pretty Lofty for a Monday, Huh?

by joi

in How to Be Happy, Positive Thought

Quote About Gratitude

What a wonderful life I’ve had!  I only wish I’d realized it sooner.  – Colette

This morning, it fell upon me to wake up my youngest daughter (Stephany) for a dentist appointment. Why, you may ask, would this be such a terrifying prospect?

  1. Steph hates for her sleep to be disturbed.
  2. Steph hates mornings.
  3. Steph hates, hates, hates dentists.

When the time came for me to awaken the diminutive terror, I was in the middle of a Twitter Direct Message conversation with my oldest daughter (Emily). I told her, “I just knocked on her bedroom door and yelled ‘STEPH!’ It won’t be long now….. I’ve lived a good life.

Though it was all in fun, I did get a lump in my throat when the bedroom door opened. I could hear eerie, prophetic music as my own horror scene played out.

Later, I began thinking about the phrase, “… a good life.”  As I thought over my life, with a procession of beautiful, much loved faces (humans, cats, dogs, birds…) filling my thoughts, I realized that “a good life” doesn’t even come close.  It’s been… and is, since Steph has seen fit to allow me to live…. an extraordinary life.  A life that has been such an adventuresome, amazingly fun  joy ride that I’m left pondering only one question, “Why have I ever complained… about anything?

At the risk of blowing sunshine up your butt (not that I’m above that sort of thing),  I think we should often pause  to think about how amazing our life is. Why not daily?!

When my phrase, said in jest, made me think about my wonderful life and all of my loved ones – it sort of set the tone for my entire day.  What a way to begin your day! Every now and then I think we all need to remind ourselves of how much we love our life. Fall a little more in love with it each day.

When all’s said and done, never (ever, ever, ever, ever) let it be said that you took your life, or anyone in your life for granted.

Focusing on the positive things in life, your loved ones, and your blessings is the golden key to happiness.  We all have things we wish were different, but focusing our thoughts and energies on them is a recipe for disaster.  For example, yesterday I was setting our dining room table for our Easter meal. I have to say, it looked more colorful than any flower garden I’ve ever seen.  I couldn’t help thinking how much I wished we had a new (can you say BIGGER) dining room table and a few more chairs.  Our family of five has grown, thanks be to God, and happens to include a bunch of arms and legs! As the house filled with the aromas of freshly baked yeast rolls and ham, I sort of kicked myself for not doing something about this table and chairs situation by now.  After all, I promised myself last Christmas I’d take care of it by the next holiday.

Ah, the best laid plans…

Funny thing, though, once the ten of us were gathered around the small table (and had rolled in two computer chairs), I didn’t see a little table when I looked around the room. I just saw people who make my very world go around and my heart skip a beat.  It was one of the best holidays we’ve ever had – table be danged.

A lot of happiness has to do with where you look – where you allow your eyes to rest.  We’re faced with this decision every single day. We can look at what we think is “missing” or isn’t quite “perfect,” or we can zero in on the beautiful things we wouldn’t change for anything in the world.  When in doubt, always go with the one that’ll leave you smiling.

Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.  – William Faulkner

Zig Ziglar quote about growth

My mom had a spot in her home where she “marked” my daughter’s (her granddaughter’s) height.  She got such an enormous kick out of charting their growth.  After each “marking” she’d say something or another than usually included the words “leaps and bounds.”

I have to admit, it was pretty fascinating to see the distance between the marks in the wood.  Given the fact that we saw the girl’s everyday, the physical growth wasn’t really noticed. Not until it was time for new shoes or clothes, anyway.

Physical growth is something we don’t have to think about. Anyone who tries to keep kids in shoes or their hips in Levi’s understand that.  It most definitely happens, whether you will it to or not.

Other growth (mental, physical, emotional)? Not so much.  If we want to GROW in any of these areas, we have to get off of our backsides and work. Which would help with the Levi’s, but that’s another subject.  The point is: while physical growth comes easily, the others do not.

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. – Ronald E. Osborn

Very often we get into the habit of shunning new experiences and far too often we give a polite, “No thank you,” to invitations to step out of our comfort zone. The problem is, this is where REAL growth occurs. I’ll give an example, using my husband.

Like most young husbands and fathers, he worked a variety of jobs after the Air Force. With a wife and three little girls, he put in long hours at factories as well as other jobs.  They paid well and he seemed determined to out work his pay.  He had a great reputation for being a very hard, conscientious worker – with a work ethic second to none.  He even attained a managerial position in a plant – so he got to ride other people for their work ethic! The pay was outstanding, as were the benefits. However, he was seldom home.

If he’d kept up that pace, HE would have definitely noticed his daughter’s “leaps and bounds” growth, and never seen it coming.

An opportunity for a sales position came open. He was really excited about the prospect of a new career. Not only was it a personal challenge, he’d actually be able to see his wife, daughters, and cats!  I was nervous about him applying for a position in which he had zero experience, but I wasn’t about to dampen his enthusiasm.  Even though I knew he’d be up against men and women with years of experience, I bit my tongue and became cheerleader to his quarterback.  Rah, rah, go get ‘em champ!

He got the job.

His first, of many, stellar sales was himself.  While I was thrilled for him, half of me wanted to ask his new employers, “The boy’s never sold anything in his life. What makes you think he can make money for you?”

He wound up with the best sales the company ever saw and it wasn’t long before he found himself pretty much in a bidding war. Everyone wanted him on their team.  He grew into his career. By leaps and bounds.

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. – Henry Miller

Expand Your World

In Speaker’s Sourcebook II, a wonderful analogy is given using fish:  A favorite fish of many hobbyists is the Japanese carp, commonly known as the koi.  The fascinating thing about the koi is that if you keep it in a small fish bowl, it will only grow to be two or three inches long. Place the koi in a larger tank or small pond and it will reach six to ten inches.  Put it in a large pond and it may get as long as a foot and a half.  However, when placed in a huge lake where it can really stretch out, it has the potential to reach sizes up to three feet.

The analogy obvious: Like koi, our growth is determined by the size of our world.  More specifically, by the experiences we subject ourselves to.  If we watch the same type of shows, read the same type of books, and go to the same places – how can we expect to grow beyond what we already are?

We’ll grow when we expose ourselves to more experiences.  Don’t get locked into the same routines. Mix it up!

Do something every day that you don’t want to do. – Mark Twain

If you want more from life, ask for it. Demand it. Expand your world and you’ll open up new avenues for success in whichever direction you want to grow. No one really and truly limits our world as much as we do, ourselves. Break down these limits and see what lies beyond the horizon.

J.C. Penney (who I love for more reasons than his quote!) said it this way: No one need live a minute longer as his is, because the creator endowed us with the ability to change ourselves.

He who is silent is forgotten; he who does not advance falls back; he who stops is overwhelmed, out distanced, crushed; he who ceases to grow becomes smaller; he who leaves off, gives up; the condition of standing still is the beginning of the end. – Henri Frederic Amiel

What could you potentially be missing out on?! You know what you have to do.  Now get growing!

We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. – Max De Pree

Why We Should Carefully Watch Our Words

Does the Word Boomerang Mean Anything to You?

by joi

in Positive Thought, Relationships, Self Awareness

Speak no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil monkeys!

Deliberate much before you say and do anything; for it will not be in your power to recall what is said or done. -Epictetus

Have you ever said something and instantly wished you could grab the words by the tail and eat them.  Or, better yet, go back in time and never let the words out in the first place?  Since we’re all human (unlike the trio above), we’ve all been there. It’s a downright sickening feeling when words come out of your mouth and you can’t do anything about it other than stand in the ruins.

Fortunately, for me as well as those who have to listen to me, I’m one of those people who almost always lines my words up and quickly examines them before they come out of my mouth. This practice came about because of something I called “mommy speak.”  I was a “stay at home” mom to our three beautiful little girls. As you may know, I home-schooled each of our daughters all the way from Kindergarten to 12th grade.  That’s a lot of time spent with little people!  I quickly realized that the way I related with my girls might not be appropriate with an older crowd, so I got into the habit of examining my words before allowing them to make an appearance.

I lived in fear of telling a perfect stranger to brush her hair before someone thought she was a cave girl, or telling my husband to eat all of his vegetables if he expected any chocolate cake. While playing a board game with adults once, I was bumfuzzled when none of them knew who snuffleupagus was.  I thought, Seriously, don’t these people watch tv? I instantly wished I’d used chocolate or an UPS truck to indicate brown – but to me, Big Bird’s buddy was synonymous with brown.

Mommy speak.

I’ve heard enough people (politicians excel at it) open their mouth, THEN examine their words.   Most people simply need to get into the practice of interrogating their words before allowing them out of the confines of their mouth.

Before inmates are released from prison, they have to face such an interrogation.  Given the fact that words can do as much damage as a convict who’s on top of his game, it’s obvious they need to face similar inspection.  A few things to ask yourself before the words come flying out:

  • Will this hurt someone’s feeling?  Some people seem to forget that people have feelings.  Just because the speaker may be hardened, doesn’t mean everyone else is.  No one deserves to have another person tear them down with words. It’s called bullying and it isn’t the least bit attractive. Even small children have feelings and unkind words can shatter them like glass.
  • Am I speaking out of anger? Speaking under the influence of anger is as dangerous as driving under the influence of alcohol.  Take deep breaths, calm down, then speak. It’s best for everyone, including yourself.
  • Are these words for ME or THEM? Most of the time, the things we say are self-serving.  A father will call his daughter’s boyfriend names to make himself feel good. He isn’t thinking of the young man, his daughter, or the rest of the family. He’s thinking of himself.  His words make everyone uneasy, but none of them truly matter. He’s only thinking of himself.
  • Will any good come from this? If nothing GOOD or positive will come from your words, why not just keep them to yourself?

It’s worth mentioning a special word to parents.  I never cease to be amazed by how much my daughters actually remember about their childhood. Sometimes one of them will be walking or having lunch, and they’ll come up with a memory from what seems like a lifetime ago!  Thanks be to God that they’re almost always positive, happy memories.  The point is, kids have excellent memories and the things you say to them (even in anger) STAY with them.  If you have children at home, make certain you’re giving them words you’ll want to revisit them time and time again.  Because they will.

Young parents go through A LOT of crazy things in life. Many times there are job changes, moves, family drama, and so on. Just remember, don’t take it out on your children. One day, they may be all you have.  Say words to them today that you’ll WANT them to repeat to you one day.  Even when disciplining them, do it with love and remain calm. As adults, they’ll respect that.

Whether it’s with children or other adults, watch your words because they’re very much like boomerangs.  They’ll come back to you and their sense of direction couldn’t be more accurate.

The Root of the Problem:

The reason people say things that’d be better left unsaid has more to do with their brain than their mouth or even their temper.  People who use words as bullets generally do so because their thoughts lead them to it.

No one’s good enough to suit them, no restaurant’s up to their standards, etc. If their thoughts were a tv station it’d be ONTH: Only Negative Thoughts Here!

Every word out of our mouth has a source of origin. This source is thought.

Guard your thoughts and, in turn, you’ll guard your words.

When Should You Just Give Up?

A Small Cat and I Say N-E-V-E-R

by joi

in Positive Thought

Queen Fatima

Fatima, 2 days after her accident, deciding that food is a good thing.

I honestly don’t believe anyone, anywhere, anytime has ever been as happy to see March as I am. I’m always thrilled to see spring and, given the fact that I live, breath, and sleep St. Louis Cardinal’s baseball, moving closer to baseball is always a glorious thing.  However, this year I welcome March into my life the way I welcome coffee into my cup each morning.

I’m not just glad to see the new month, I’m tickled pink to see the old one pack up it’s bags. February didn’t have a very pleasant personality as far as I’m concerned.

First of all, I have to apologize to the super cool people who leave comments for not responding to you sooner. The past few weeks haven’t just been ugly, they’ve been horrifically ugly.  In fact all of February has been like a schoolyard bully. My washing machine broke, followed by a leaky, broken hot water heater. My white carpet loved that.

Personal injuries for this accident prone klutz included a hurt neck, a burned leg, and a knee I smashed into a concrete corner.  Not all in the same day, though that would have been a personal best.

February wasn’t through yet, though. As you know, I work from home as a web publisher. My family owns a great number of websites, which include a few for the company my husband works for. We also host quite a few other business sites on our server.  We normally never experience any problems, but apparently we outgrew our server and had to move to a new, bigger server.  All of our websites were down for nearly a week.  I was beside myself, not so much for my own sites (although I missed updating them greatly) but I hated for the business sites to be down that long.

Everything was out of my hands, though, so all I could do was ride it out. And keep checking… and checking… and checking.

Being the month that it was, even when everything was moved to the new server and everything was smooth, February had a new trick up its sleeve: Our internet provider ran into trouble. No internet at all for one day and slow progress for about a week.  No problem, all I needed to do was catch up for an entire week off, that’s all.

However, as bad and annoying as all of that was, the worst involved one of my beloved outside cats, Fatima.  I was outside one afternoon (the websites were still down and I was trying to find my sanity – I thought maybe I’d left it outside).  As I was petting another cat (Hannah), I saw poor tiny Fatima coming slowly up the driveway, pulling one of her back legs behind her. She was  staring me straight in the eyes, meowing loudly as she came to me – as though she thought I could do something to help her pain.

All I could do was pet her, cry, and curse February.

She had, somehow, broken her little hip.  She’s a very, very small cat, so this wouldn’t have taken much.  Personally I believe something fell on her.  We live way out, where there are no cars for her to come into contact with, and it’s hard to imagine a cat falling and NOT landing on her feet.  My little girl was in quite a bit of pain and discomfort and it killed me more than I can say.  I did a little research and found that moving a cat with a broken hip or back requires a lot of caution.  She was a feral kitten, so she’s not the sort of cat that we could possibly transport to the vet.  In fact, I’m the only person she’ll even allow to pet her.

All of the experts I sought out said that if the cat was able to eat and drink and “do her business“, they’d have a chance at survival.  I couldn’t get her to eat or drink at all that first day.  She just laid beside me while I rubbed her head. And cried. And prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

To see any animal in pain is more than I can take – but when it’s one I love, it’s indescribable. I admit that the thought of having her “put out of her misery” ran through my mind.  I knew that putting her into a carrier and transporting her to a vet would be excruciatingly painful and scary for her.  I, somehow, just knew that if she were going to die, she’d rather do it at home.  With each prayer for healing, I added a request to “just end her pain.”

Each time I went outside to find her (usually in the garage), I half-expected to find her dead.  Instead, each time I found her alive, awake, and looking at me, waiting for the love she knew was headed her way. We had a really warm, pretty day and four days after the accident happened, she sort of drug herself into the sun and stayed there all day.  I was relieved to see that she was able to “do her business.”

A storm blew through the other day and the weatherman said there was a tornado in the area.  Given the month we’d been having, I thought, “We’re all going to die.”

Obviously we did not.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Two days after the accident, Fatima regained her crazy mad love for food. She could barely even stand long enough to eat. I put her favorite food on the ground, as opposed to on a plate, civil like.  She’d stand for a few bites, then lie down a while. Then repeat the entire process.  I was just glad to see my normally food-crazed cat enjoying her favorite sport again.

Five days after Fatima first came up the driveway, broken and helpless, she SOMEHOW managed to walk toward me when I went outside to see her that morning. I nearly fell over, but there she came, staring me dead in the eye and clumsily walking.  Most people would say it wasn’t a very attractive walk but I”ll have you know it was the most beautiful walk I’ve seen since each of my daughters first walked.  Truth be told, it was about as shaky.

I sat down next to her and begged her to stop moving – she consented and we sat there enjoying the moment. She purred for the first time since “it” happened, whatever it was.

She continues to blow my mind with how fast she’s healing. Each time I see her, I think, “There’s my miracle baby.”  If you could have seen her coming up the driveway, you’d understand.

The moral… or at least the point… of this story is this: Never give up.  Don’t give up on yourself, don’t give up on God, don’t give up on others, and never, ever, ever give up on happy endings.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s LITERALLY a little gray head at my back door requesting dinner.  So, she’s climbing steps now….

You just can’t beat the person who never gives up. – Babe Ruth

A Few Thoughts About Pessimists

Do you FULLY Realize Thier Influence???

by joi

in How to Be Happy, Positive Thought

Quote about pessimism by Dwight D. Eisenhower Pessimists are a depressing lot, aren’t they?  Given the way they suck life and energy out of the world, we should call them vacuums. When they ask why, we can say, “Because you suuuuuuuuck.“  Just kidding, of course, it’s never cool to call names. Not even when they fit like a brand new pair of Isotoners.

Pessimists almost seem allergic to positive thought – you can practically see them recoil at the concept.

I am so thankful to be surrounded by optimists.  Everyone in my offline world is a certified optimist.  The cheerful, glass is half full, upbeat, life breathing kind of people you look at and go, “Wow, how did I get so lucky to have you in my life?!”   I did a mental inventory this morning of these amazing people and realized that each and every one is the sort of person that if I said, “Let’s go fight the hounds of hell,” their response would be, “I’ll grab a weapon!”

Except for my oldest daughter (Emily) who’d also want to take a thermos of coffee. Sigh, I raised that girl right.

While I have no intention of clearing my schedule to charge the gates of hell, it’s pretty cool to know I could round up am army in an hour. Two, tops.

I find that I’m even drawn to authors, blogs, newspapers, websites, tv channels, and magazines that are optimistic.  Some people are GREATLY amused by factions of the media that belittle and make fun of celebrities, athletes, politicians, and so on. That bumfuzzles me, to tell you the truth. Think about it – this sort of thing is like a shot of negativity on the rocks.  Why invite negativity and pessimism into your world.  I don’t “get” falling over yourself to view “worst dressed” stars, for example, when the “best dressed” would be so much better for your eyes.

And psyche.

I also don’t understand why so many people want to read negativity. It’s essentially inviting negativity to come into your home, sit down, make itself comfortable, and stay a while.   The problem with making negativity your house guest is this:  After a while, even though you probably won’t realize it , you become as negative and pessimistic as the company you keep.   I like to use the analogy of newspaper ink.   When you’re holding a newspaper in your hands, reading the divisional baseball standings, weather, or (if you have the fortitude) the front page – you don’t realize that the ink is slowly coming off on your hands.

You don’t feel it happening.  At the time, you don’t even see it happening.  But after you’ve laid the paper down, you happen to glance at your hands and, sure enough, they’re ink stained.  Fortunately newspaper ink is a cinch to get rid of.  If only the negative repercussions’ stains were as easily wiped away.

I detest negativity and perennially negative mindsets so much I even unfollow people on Twitter if they start stinking up my twitter stream with too much negativity.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not Mary Poppins.  I know there are times when we all have to vent.  I’m not talking about grumbling about a ref’s call or your team’s inexplicable refusal to play defense in the biggest game of the year (what IS up with that???). I”m also not talking about asking what a celebrity was thinking about when she wore a meat dress. Oh that Lady Gaga…

These are things we all do.  And, let’s be honest, sometimes refs beg for it.  But most of us also realize (and publicize) that there are many more things to be happy about.  The good vibes we send out far outweigh the bad. I’m talking about people who never seem to be happy, satisfied, or content with anything.  They gripe about the President, they gripe about prayer in schools (oooooh, that did so much harm <—-SARCASM), they gripe about what they had for lunch, they gripe about what they’re going to have for supper.  Their bad vibes are poisonous and their good vibes? Well, they’re so scarce you never notice them.  You know the type.

But do you avoid the type?

If not, they’re leaving a bit of a stain behind whether you realize it or not – and it doesn’t wipe off easily. We all have to be careful when it comes to our influences because, to a very real extent, they determine the person we see in the mirror each day.

I believe this can be filed under our series of How to Be Happy posts, for obvious reasons.  The people you allow into your world influence you greatly (whether they, physically walk through your living room or simply trample across your thoughts).  If you’re permitting pessimistic grumble guts to keep company with you, you can’t very well complain about not being happy, can you?!  Find a happier, more upbeat and optimistic group of influencers and watch (and feel!) the difference.

Here’s an easy exercise – a great way to measure the amount of negativity you’re allowing into your world.  In the coming days, pay close attention to the people you follow on Twitter, your friends on Facebook, the blogs you read, websites you visit, newspapers and books you read, shows you watch, etc.  Judge each one’s level of negativity vs the level of positivity.   Realize that this is the company you keep… the guests you’re inviting into your home.

Then ask in the immortal words of Dr. Phil… How’s that working for you?

Confidence
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

The inspirational story by Walt Disney reminded me of a great poster I saw once. I searched for the miniature super hero and – ta da! – found him.  Sometimes we have people in our lives who tell us we can’t do something or, worse, they’ll make fun of us for something we ARE doing.   Fortunately, I’ve ran into that only a few times in my life. Being an only child usually involves people telling you that you surpass all of the wonders of the world and that you could move mountains if you so desired.

Oh, and that you’re just the cutest thing….

However, like everyone, I’ve had opportunities to doubt myself – usually because of what someone has said.  The first time I encountered this sort of thing, I was floored.  I nearly gave up everything I was attempting to do at the time.  Fortunately, after I cooled down, I realized that (like the little boy above) what I know I can do is what counts…. not what doubters think I can’t do.

Believe in yourself enough for you and 10 other people.  Sometimes we’re all we have! The next time someone tells you that you can’t do something or infers that you’re a fool to even try, remind yourself that it ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Then look them in the eye and tell them, “You know, you’re not just wrong. You’re damn wrong. I can do anything I put my mind to. Grab a seat and watch.”

Confidence? Yeah, it’s like that.

Quote for When You’re Feeling Down

It'll Get You Back on Your Feet and in Fighting Form!

by joi

in Daily Quote, Positive Thought

Anger, tears, and sadness are only for those who have given up. – Katie Gill
The last time I was feeling, as my mom used to say, down in the dumps, I threw myself across my bed and started reading through one of my quote collections. I have millions of trusty quotes pretty much within reach at all times. Notebooks, computer, ipod, books, memory…

One of the first quotes I came to was the one above.  It was an immediate, and most welcome, kick in the backside.

I honestly cannot even remember what led me to drape across my bed that day (couldn’t have been too bad) but I do remember how I felt after reading the quote.  The old fighting spirit kicked in and the same body that flung itself down sprang back up again, ready for action.  It was just the motivation and inspiration I needed at that time.  In fact, I’ve saved it on my memory’s hard drive for the next time I need a little jolt.

One of the things I pride myself on the most is the fact that I am not a quitter.  I’ve been blessed with a life that has, quite often actually, felt closer to a roller coaster than a Merry-go-round.  If anyone questions my choice of the word blessed, I’d simply ask them which ride they’d rather ride at the state fair!  Life’s ups, downs, and unexpected dives are the places we learn to fight.  These are the times we learn if we are quitters or if the very word quit repulses us.

I’m horrified by the concept of “giving up,” so this quote holds a lot of magic for me – that and a swift little kick.

Are you feeling a little down in the dumps or disappointed about something? If so, read the words again and see if they have the same effect on your backside. Anger, tears, and sadness are only for those who have given up.

As I’ve probably pointed out on this self help blog as other places before, I’m a New Year’s Resolutions junkie. In fact, I’m fairly certain NO ONE relishes in these annual goals and resolutions as much as my daughter Emily and I do.  We make lists, we share them with one another, and (most importantly) we hold each other responsible during the year.  Make no mistake about it, New Years Day is a holiday we enjoy almost as much as any other.

Over the years, I’ve learned a few hard and fast tips for making and keeping resolutions:

  • Think of your resolutions as flexible guidelines for living. They may take different forms in the coming weeks and months.  As long as you’re moving in the right direction, consider yourself on the right track.
  • Write them down.
  • Keep your list in a place you’ll see on a daily basis: Maybe in a notebook, planner, or day book you see daily. If you read daily, you could even fold your list of goals and use them as a bookmark. If you aren’t concerned about privacy, pin them to a bulletin board or your refrigerator.
  • Be reasonable. Be realistic.
  • Make the first day of each month AND the 15th day of each month “Check In” days.  Read over your list and see how you’re doing.
  • Write your resolutions as GOALS rather than resolutions. For example, saying Weigh 50 pounds less by Christmas sounds grandiose…. because it is grandiose.  It also sounds more like a wish than a goal. Instead, write something more along the lines of, Walk for 30 minutes each day, no excuses, Switch from soft drinks to unsweetened tea and water, and Eat more fruits and vegetables and less fries and red meat. The mind likes having concrete things to work with.
  • Don’t fall apart if you mess up. If you’ve vowed to cut out french fries, for example, and you fall off the fry wagon, don’t give up.  Admit that you’ve cut WAY back on the unhealthy habit and keep on keeping on.  At the end of the year, if you can count the number of times you’ve ordered fries on one hand, you’re doing far better than most of us!

Whether you’re dealing with New Year’s Resolutions (no idea why I always capitalize the entire phrase), healthy new habits you’re trying to establish, or a couple of goals your working toward, there are four little words that can help you stay on the right track. Simple words, at that: I am happiest when….

Saying (or writing) these words before a goal connects the goal’s outcome with a very personal, very positive emotion.  For some reason, it’s incredibly effective and connects your mind and heart to the goal as though it were its life source.   We all want to be happy, right?  And the concept of being in our happiest state is certainly going to grab our attention.

Simply look at your goals and resolutions if you’ve written them down or try to catch them as they’re running around in your mind.  Connect an “I am happiest when” statement with each of your goals.  Below are a few examples with popular resolutions.

  • I am happiest when… the house is neat.  Make a point to clean house for an hour each day. Always put things where they go right away and never get behind on laundry or dishes.
  • I am happiest when… I eat right!  Eat more vegetables and fruit. Try different cooking techniques and recipes with fruits and vegetables.  Eat less red meat and eat salads or soup instead of fries or chips.
  • I am happiest when… I don’t lose my cool.  I will count to 10 (or 20 or 30!) before speaking when I feel riled.
  • I am happiest when… I get some sort of exercise each day.  Walk the dog for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night. (If you don’t have a dog, there are plenty of precious faces waiting for you at the Animal Shelter!)
  • I am happiest when… I don’t run out of money!  I’m going to be smarter about how I spend money.

There have been several instances where these 4 little words have worked wonders for me. Try them for yourself, you may be pleasantly surprised!

Photo Credit: I Can Has Cheezburger