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Helping Others: It’s Always the Right Time to Reach Out…

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It’s Always the Right Time to Reach Out and Help Others

While many things are returning to normal in many parts of the world, none of us are completely back to normal. In fact, for a lot of people, normal may look, sound, smell, and certainly feel different for quite a while.

Maybe forever.

Before you let that make you frown, realize that not all change is bad. In fact, some change can be a very good, positive thing.

What if we all come out of this pandemic more willing to reach out and help others than we have ever been willing before? What if the consideration and concern for our neighbors (very near and very far) that we’ve experienced and displayed lasts… well… forever?

I for one certainly hope so!

I have a great deal of correspondence with others through my e-mail and social media. I have noticed over the past year more of us are apt to sign off with things such as…

  • Stay Safe!
  • Be Well!
  • Best Wishes to You and Your Family!
  • Etc..

I also notice many greetings begin with..

  • I hope you’re well…
  • I hope you’re safe…
  • I hope you and your loved ones are well…

It didn’t used to be like this.

When I’m in stores and restaurants (still riding an emotional high that my favorite Mexican restaurant weathered this storm and is open for business!), I see people smiling at one another these days – the warm smiles aren’t just reserved for babies anymore! People seem to genuinely care for others post-pandemic than they did pre-pandemic and that’s something I very, very, VERY much sticks around.

Many people are struggling today – more, perhaps, than ever before. The pandemic introduced a lot of unpleasantness into our lives. Some unpleasantness we could SEE – lockdowns, less family visits, less income, arguments with family members who view the virus differently than we do, and a total upheaval in our daily lives. Other unpleasantnesses couldn’t be seen, but my goodness are they ever felt.

  • the anxiety that comes with coming face to face with your own vulnerability
  • stress from seeing, daily, others sick and suffering
  • being more aware of death than ever before… I mean, we were given daily numbers!
  • arguments within families due to more stress
  • broken relationships because of other’s views on the virus, masks, and vaccines

Make no mistake about it, this pandemic left its vile fingerprints on all of our lives.

It’s worth remembering that you don’t have to always be strong. You can cry when you darn well feel like crying! It’s okay to feel scared and I’m giving you permission to feel angry about the whole thing. Feel the emotions you want to feel and make no attempt to tell others how to deal with their feelings. We all cope differently and we all heal differently.

Finally, I’d love to encourage everyone to reach out and help others in any way possible. If you know someone who seems to have the weight of the world on their shoulders, either ask them what you can do to make the load lighter or (perhaps even better) step up and do something for them that helps lighten their load.

Ideas include mowing their lawn, giving them a gift card to their favorite restaurant (this way you help them and the restaurant), offering to watch their child/children while they treat themselves to a day out. Simply showing up to their house with a Starbucks drink for you and a Starbucks drink for them and sitting to talk with them for an hour may be just the tonic they (and you!) need.

Many are dealing with anxiety, stress, depression, and other emotional and mental strains right now. If you can be a blessing to someone, please don’t hesitate to do so. You may give them exactly what they needed to hang in there and keep fighting.

As a bonus, helping others makes you feel so good!

Stay strong, stay well, and stay safe. I truly care about each and every one of you. ~ Joi (“Joy”)

Checklist for Your Mental Health During Covid-19

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Mental Fitness During Covid-19

Infographic Credit: BPI-Philam

Maintaining our mental fitness and emotional health should be as important to us during the pandemic as staying physically healthy. After all, what good is one without the other??

The infographic, here, and the content here can serve as an excellent reminder to do just that.  I hope you’ll take time out of your busy day to check both out and share them with others in your life.

Stay well, stay safe, and stay YOU! ~ Joi

Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): A Few Quick and Easy Tips

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Remember to Pause to See the Beauty in Every Season

Those of us who have never suffered from  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) should take a moment right now and express our complete and unrestrained gratitude. From what I’ve seen, heard, and read, it is a miserable and seemingly relentless cloud of misery.

Fortunately, there are a few ways to cope with and even overcome SAD. Will every tip work for you personally? Doubtful… but more likely than not a few will help you tremendously. Being proactive will, all by itself, help to some extent.

It always feels better to know we are taking positive steps to make our lives better – as well as the lives of those who our life touches.

Tips for Coping with SAD:

  1. Take a multi-vitamin and a Vitamin D Supplement. Vitamin deficiencies have a large number of symptoms and many of those associated with being more emotional than physical. One of my daughters once found herself feeling extremely tired and sluggish. Worse, she’d sometimes cry without having any idea WHY. When she went to the doctor, she had tears in the examining room and told the doctor she had no idea why. Being a sharp doctor, she ordered blood-work – specifically wanting to check her Vitamin D. It wasn’t just low, it was VERY low. She was prescribed a Vitamin D supplement (though they are available over the counter) and her symptoms improved almost immediately.
  2. Let some sunlight in! Something as simple as opening blinds and curtains during the day may help. When you’re able to look outside at nature (even if it’s just a single tree or the sky and grass), you’re instantly reminded that nature is beautiful year round, not just in the warmer months. The light, itself, can lift your spirits.
  3. ALWAYS have something to look forward to. I’m convinced that (to a certain extent) SAD can result from a “let down” after a string of exciting, high-charged holidays and events. Think about it – September (back to school), October (Halloween), November (Thanksgiving), December (Christmas), January (New Year’s Day). That leaves the rest of January, February (let’s face it, Valentine’s Day is only so so on the excitement meter), and some of March in many parts of the world. It’s only reasonable that there will be a let down, a feeling of “What do we get ready for or look forward to now???” Why not begin planning for your own party or family get-together?! Plan for a Super Bowl party, a movie-watching party (pick your favorite movie… after all, it’s your party!), or any kind of random party you can think of (masquerade party, game day party, use your imagination and see where it takes you). If you aren’t the party type (aside from family birthdays, I’m not either, actually), start planning Movie Nights with a loved one or all by yourself. Pick a night of the week when you don’t have to cook anything (no cleanup… yay!), order pizza, pop the popcorn, and watch a couple of great movies. You’ll find yourself looking forward to movie night so much I’m sure you’ll keep the tradition rolling all year.
  4. Move more! I’m not saying you have to hit the gym – trust me, the last gym I was in was in high school (and gym was short for gymnasium)! Simply make yourself become more active. We move a lot more in the warmer months and the sudden dip in activity takes it’s toll on the body and, perhaps, even mind. Bundle up and walk around the yard or block, turn on music and do your chores with more showmanship (my favorite), take up yoga or pilates, learn a new dance… just move it!
  5. Essential Oils can be effective. The following essential oils can be very helpful in lifting moods (the links go to Amazon, where each can be readily found): Lemon, Jasmine, Lavender, Cinnamon, and Peppermint essential oils are a few people swear by.

I place this final piece of advice separate from the rest because it is both different and vital. So vital, in fact, that I’m not sure any or even all of the tips above will work if it is left undone. When we suffer from things like SAD, we have to stop giving it more power than it already has.

Each time someone says any of the things below, they give Seasonal Affective Disorder more power…

  • “I can’t be happy, I have SAD.”
  • “I’d like to go out for dinner with you, but I can’t, I always feel depressed this time of year.”
  • “I hate winter – it makes me feel so unhappy.”
  • “I wish I could be happy… guess I’ll have to wait for summer.”

Any form of these statements give the disorder power and place the individual in the role of victim – and I don’t know about you, but that’s a role I have no interest in playing!

Statements to Give YOU the Power…

  • “Less light outside doesn’t have to mean less light inside!”
  • “I’m going to make a list of fun things to do this month…”
  • “A problem is nothing more than a question that hasn’t found it’s answer yet… this year, I will find that answer!”

I am in NO WAY trying to make light of SAD – it is a very, very real condition. However, you have more power than it does, you’re smarter than it is, you have more resolve, and you’re a heckuva lot better looking.

My money is on you. ~ Joi (“Joy”)


Tips for Surviving the Holiday Season if This Time of Year Is Difficult for You

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by Brooke Faulkner

When many people talk about the holidays, they speak with a feeling of warmth and love. They associate this time of year with family and giving. Kids get gifts and winter break; parents get to see their children believe in something magical; and families embrace and feel blessed for their time spent together. Holidays feel nostalgic for many, and this time of year brings back memories of baked cookies, Christmas movies, and cozy mornings with hot cocoa and playing in the snow.

However, plenty of people have a difficult time during the holiday season. Some may feel lonelier during the holidays. Some may have feelings of grief due to the absence of a loved one during this time. Some may not have family, or be estranged from their family. Some may feel ostracized if they are single, without children, or going through a separation. Some may be experiencing financial troubles that are exacerbated during the gift-giving holidays. Some may be struggling to stay sober or battling with their mental health. No matter what your story is, there are tips that can help you survive this difficult time of year.

Get Out of Town

If the holiday season is hard for you, it might be the perfect time for you to get out of town and create new memories away from any triggering people or situations. Travel has a way of helping you feel rejuvenated and can help in increasing your feelings of independence and adventure. Visit some of the most amazing cities in the world — some of which won’t feel like the holiday season in terms of temperature and culture. Even a road trip to a nearby resort or a winter camping weekend can help to remove you from the hard parts of being at home. You have every right to take this time and mold it into whatever you need to help make you feel better.

Create New Traditions

Some of the common traditions that people have can make this time of year worse for people. Even your own traditions can be triggering if you’ve lost someone or been recently separated. Instead of sticking with the traditions that are difficult, create new ones. If you’re feeling especially lonely, spend this time of year visiting shelter dogs or retirement communities to be a source of comfort for others who may be lonely as well. If you recently lost someone, make a new tradition of celebrating them somehow, like making their favorite recipe or watching their favorite holiday movie. Pinpoint the hard parts of the holiday and find ways to make them your own, or replace them altogether.

Plan an Exit Strategy

If you’re worried about something happening during holiday events that will be hard, be sure to plan an exit strategy. Sometimes it’s being around toxic family members, sometimes it’s being around drinks when you’re trying to be sober, and sometimes it’s seeing spouses or families simply enjoying this time of year. Each of those things can lead to heartache, so you are allowed to remove yourself if things get hard. Plan an excuse to get out of an event beforehand in case something happens. It might even be helpful to set the scene and tell people, “I may have to leave early,” or “I may get called into work,” to help make it easier to leave. This will make it less awkward if you need to make a getaway from something that is hard to handle.

Find Something You Enjoy

When this time of year is hard for you, help yourself by finding something about it that you enjoy. Maybe this time of year is hard, but you love the snow, helping others in need, or watching Christmas movies. You might try diving into more snow sports like skiing or snowshoeing to help you with something you enjoy during this time. Not only can it help when things get hard, but exercising in nature can also help with things like occupational burnout or helping to combat seasonal affective disorder.

If you love helping others, you may make this time of year into a tradition of giving by adopting a family or buying gifts for charity. If you can’t think of many things you enjoy, try to find something you haven’t done yet to find the thing about this time of year that you do enjoy.

Be Kind to Yourself

More than anything, it’s important to be kind to yourself during this time of year. Sometimes there’s nothing particularly triggering about the holidays, but things seem to be difficult anyway. This can be due to added stress, being stretched too thin, or spending more time comparing your situation to someone else’s. Be kind to yourself by managing your expectations and making your mental health and self-care a priority. Commit to one holiday party instead of all of them, suggest another family member hosting this year, or stay focused on unplugging from social media altogether. If it’s too hard to take an active part in the holidays, forgive yourself for that. The holidays are hard for many people, and it’s okay if your holiday season doesn’t look like everyone else’s.

Though the holidays are magical for some, others feel the weight of expectations. They are expected to buy a big gift, attend the parties, be around family, and act as though this time of year is a blessing. For some, that’s just not how it feels. It feels heavy and fake. It feels stressful and overwhelming. It feels emotional and difficult. If the holidays are hard for you, rewrite the hard parts. Get out of town, create your own traditions, plan an exit strategy, find something you enjoy, and be kind to yourself. Hold on tight until this time of year has gone by. Until then, utilize some of these tips to help you get through it.

Preventive Mental Health Care: What You Should Be Doing to Keep Your Mind Healthy

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October is National Depression Awareness Month, and it’s easy to show support by sharing facts and figures — like the statistic that 6.9% of adults in the U.S. had at least one major episode of depression in 2015 alone. As we take the time to focus on spreading awareness of this debilitating struggle, though, it’s also critical to focus on solutions as well.

Often the symptoms of mental illnesses can be soothed before they become unmanageable through simple, home-oriented remedies. Here are a few suggestions to foster a daily lifestyle aimed at proactively keeping your mind healthy over the long term.

Watch What You Eat

Junk food is bad for you. No surprise there, right? It can lead to inflammation in your body, which can directly affect your brain’s stress levels and learning ability. If you want to stay mentally healthy, you need to make sure that you’re feeding your mind the nutrients that it needs.

This can be done in many different ways, and there are countless foods and diets designed to help with mental health. The important thing is that you do your research, pick a diet that you feel is right for you, and then stick to it. As is always the case with these kinds of things, it never hurts to ask your doctor for input as you go.

Get Up and Go Outside

One of the tried-and-true methods for keeping a robust mind is to always be incorporating exercise (and by extension, endorphins) into your life. Some common exercising options include:

  • Going for a run.
  • Working out at the gym.
  • Taking a yoga or pilates class.
  • Doing a 7-minute workout.
  • Going for a walk.

Whatever you choose to do, make an effort to get moving on a regular basis. If possible, try to do so outside, too. Getting outside and engaging with Mother Nature can do wonders for your mind. It can help you relax, find peace, and detox from the endless procession of devices and gadgets that we are continually tethered to.

Get Good Sleep

Poor sleep is always bad for your mind, and it only gets worse if you’re struggling with the symptoms of a mental illness. You can’t sleep poorly all week and then “catch up” on the weekend, and time spent in bed also doesn’t equate to time spent sleeping, either. If you struggle to get adequate sleep, it’s important to take steps to address the issue. You might consider:

  • Avoiding naps and caffeine too late in the day.
  • Creating a bedtime routine that encourages your body to rest.
  • Spending time meditating before you go to sleep.
  • Setting up your bedroom as a peaceful, technology-free zone.

Utilize the Oils

Sweet Orange and Eucalyptus Essential Oils

While modern medicine can be a Godsend in many situations, often you can address minor mental health concerns with a gentler approach. Essential oils have been heralded for quite a while now as some of the best home-medicinal tools to help care for your mind. Not only that, but different oils can help in various ways.

Frankincense oil, for instance, can relieve anxiety and stress. Lavender can help with sleep, depression, and restlessness. Peppermint oil can improve memory and alertness. All it takes is putting some water and a few drops of your oil of choice into a diffuser, and you can begin to reap the benefits.

Along with essential oils, there is also CBD oil. The increasingly popular over the counter cannabis product is known for its ability to help with mental health. CBD oil can relieve stress, anxiety, and depression. It also helps with sleep and can generally enhance your cognitive function.

Look for Cognitive Distortions

Stress is a normal part of life. Trying to completely eliminate stress in your life is a fool’s errand — and it can seriously affect your mind. Instead of fighting stress, it’s important to learn how to react to it properly. This starts by taking the time to create an integrated approach to treating anxiety.

While this includes things like good sleep, healthy eating, and exercise, it all starts with self-awareness. Take time to study your thought processes and look for harmful cognitive distortions like:

  • All-or-nothing thinking.
  • Emotional reasoning.
  • Discounting the positive.

As you learn about yourself, try to break away from harmful habits of thinking. This will help you release the pressures of stress and anxiety before they build up and become a problem.

Cultivate Your Social Life

Finally, consider spending time building your social life. Mental illnesses flourish in solitude, and having a network of family and friends to lean on can be an essential part of keeping your mind healthy over the long term.

In the modern world, you can do this in numerous ways. Physically visiting with others is still the best way to cultivate relationships. However, you can also make phone calls and even write letters or send text messages. Just make sure you’re genuinely looking to build relationships and aren’t being superficial in your interactions.

Maintain Your Mental Health

Mental illnesses are common, and there’s no shame in needing to look for a medical solution. However, often the extremity of medicine isn’t necessary if a little time is spent beforehand investing in a mentally healthy lifestyle.

From food choices to exercise, quality sleep, coping mechanisms, and a good social life, there are plenty of tools available to ensure that your mind flourishes over the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.