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Unlocked: Keys to Getting Out & Staying Out (Review)

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Unlocked Keys to Getting Out and Staying Out
“Unlocked: Keys to Getting Out & Staying Out”

Every now and again, my book reviews or book previews are geared toward a particular audience and that’s the case with the book I want to tell you about today: “Unlocked”: Keys To Getting Out & Staying Out.

Sadly, there’s a lot… make that A LOT… in the news today about police officers and their relationship with those who are on the wrong side of the law.

My personal feeling on this is simple – don’t get on the wrong side of the law! No one makes an individual break the law – it’s his or her choice. Plain and simple, they think they can get away with it.  If you have sons or daughters, you’re doing them a GRAVE disservice if you tell them anything other than, “Do NOT break the law.” If you lead them to believe, even for a millisecond that law officers are the enemy – mark my words, you’ll live to regret it.  The day they’re behind bars, or worse, you’ll want to go back and do it all over again.

“Unlocked”: Keys To Getting Out & Staying Out is written by veteran prison officer Chance Johnmeyer and his passion for helping individuals and families “edit” their stories to create happier endings is palpable.

I happily agreed to tell my readers about this book because when it comes to helping people, I am particularly drawn to:

  • young people
  • people who feel they have nowhere to turn
  • people who have messed up and want a second chance

Many individuals who end up on the wrong side of the law are heartbreaking combinations of these three groups – young people who desperately need someone to lay down the law. Someone who will tell them what’s acceptable, what is not, and what the consequences are when you get the two twisted.

People who need a second chance because the first one didn’t go especially well particularly bring out the mother instincts in me! We’ve all messed up before and we’re familiar with the sick feeling of knowing you really have no one to blame but yourself. That kind of sucks, doesn’t it?

I’ve always wished I could have a few minutes with someone right before they make the biggest mistake of their life. And I’ve always wished I could have a few minutes with someone, after the mistake was made to let them know it’s not the end of the world… that tomorrow will come, so they’d better be ready for it.

Chance Johnmeyer took these “few minutes” and turned it into a powerful book.

“Written by veteran prison officer Chance Johnmeyer of New Hampshire, and Florida with contributions from several former inmates, Unlocked: Keys to Getting Out & Staying Out is an honest guide for those re-entering society. Combining compassion, experience, and practical advice, “Unlocked” talks straight about the challenges facing released inmates as they try to reestablish life on the outside. Filled with exercises, real-life suggestions, and a resource guide for Florida inmates, Unlocked is your pocket guide to embracing freedom and starting over–the right way.”

“Unlocked”: Keys To Getting Out & Staying Out – while certainly aimed toward the individual who needs to get out and stay out – is also, in my opinion, an eye-opening read for any young person who might be in need of a wake up call.

If this sounds like anyone in your life, here’s your chance to be the one who stands between them and disaster.  The one who says, “This is not how the story is going to end because I love you too much.”

A few days ago, the author tweeted out a picture of a gentleman being released from prison and it was captioned, “going home.”  It honestly made me teary eyed because “going home” are two of the most beautiful words in the world.  The only thing more beautiful is, of course, never having to leave in the first place.

It’s my hope, and even more importantly my prayer, that this book will save as many people as I believe it has the potential to.

See “Unlocked”: Keys To Getting Out & Staying Out on Amazon – available as a paperback or on Kindle.

Daddy Nickell Tips, Just in Time for Thanksgiving

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Gratitude is on everyone’s mind this time of year. Isn’t it a shame that the thoughts that are so strong and prevalent during November and December don’t stay as strong and prevalent the rest of the year?!

I have to admit, when I was younger, I never really realized just how beautiful a gracious and thankful heart is.  I remember one Tuesday morning I was having lunch (pizza!) with the pastor of our church, his adorable wife, and a few of our friends. Somehow the subject turned to being thankful and expressing gratitude. Southern preachers do many things with great passion and eating is certainly amongst them, but between bites, our pastor said, “A Gracious heart is a beautiful thing.”

I remember this so clearly because:

  1. It was BY FAR the shortest sermon he ever preached.
  2. It made me realize that, indeed, a gracious heart is a beautiful thing.

My three daughters, with their lives, preach the same sermon this wonderful man did over pizza.  My daughters are so incredibly gracious and thankful that it never ceases to leave an impression on me and I always think of the “Mini Pizza Sermon.”  Graciousness is beautiful.  They express the same gratitude whether I fix them a mug of hot chocolate as they would if I bought them a purse that costs way more than any purse has a right to cost (seriously, what’s up with purses?).

When I read the article below, the tip, “Model the behavior” jumped out at me. I believe that, over the years, my girls saw that my husband (“Daddy” to them!) and I simply don’t take anything for granted. We are always genuinely thankful for anything we have as well as for anything anyone does for us. I think that, more than anything, this helped them to become so beautifully gracious.

I notice graciousness in others and always realize that it speaks absolute volumes about an individual.

Below is a timely article that’s being shared with Self Help Daily’s readers.  It’s written by Robert Nickell (a.k.a. Daddy Nickell) and offers fantastic tips on helping your kids find ways to give thanks. More importantly, it tells how you can help your kids to be more thankful. ~  Joi

Creative Ways Your Family Can Express Thankfulness on Thanksgiving and Beyond

by Daddy Nickell

Thanksgiving is almost here, and parents everywhere are wondering how they can teach their kids how to express thankfulness on the holiday and beyond. Rather than just going around the table and saying a quick list of things they are grateful for, moms and dads want creative and unique “I’m Thankful For…” ideas that will get the kiddos in the spirit of giving thanks!

Daddy Nickell
From his experience in raising 7 children of his own, parenting expert Daddy Nickell has tried-and-true tips on ways to teach your kids how to give thanks:

Creative ways to express thankfulness on Thanksgiving:

  1. Thankfulness jar: Put out a decorative jar with a notepad and pen. Have family members write down things they are thankful for and read the notes at Thanksgiving dinner.
  2. Thankful turkeys: Do the old-fashioned hand turkey or be more elaborate, but have children write something they are thankful for on each of the turkey’s feathers. Use them as place cards or decorations.
  3. Alphabet list: Go around the table and have everyone say something they are thankful for. Be creative and use the alphabet to keep things going (each person has to say something they are thankful for that starts with the next letter in the alphabet.
  4. Dry-erase board display: Have a dry-erase board on prominent display where people can write what they are thankful for.
  5. Thankful songs: Choose a popular tune, such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” and have each child sing a song starting with the words “I am thankful for…” This will get your kids’ creativity going and is sure to bring joy and many laughs!

Ways to teach your kids how to always give thanks:

  1. Model the behavior. Say “thank you’s” yourself. Remember to thank your children when they make their beds or clean up their messes. Tell them they make you happy when they follow the rules and bring you joy when they sing and dance. Demonstrate thankfulness in your own life.
  2. Make them wait (or work) for it. When kids get everything they ask for the minute they ask for it, they don’t appreciate it. If you make them wait a couple of days or until their next birthday, they will be incredibly grateful for the gifts when they receive them. Children also appreciate things more when they have contributed work or money towards them.
  3. Work thankfulness into your daily conversation. Talk to your kids about how blessed you are to live where you do and remind them how special and important they are to you. Helping a child appreciate what they already have will help them be thankful for their life.
  4. Volunteer. Whether it’s bringing cookies to a neighbor lady, or filling food bags at a homeless shelter, your children will benefit from seeing the joy they can bring to those less fortunate than themselves.
  5. Write thank you notes. Somewhat old-fashioned and definitely on the out, thank you notes require the children to think about each person and why they appreciate them and the gift they gave. It takes time, and every kid loves receiving mail.
  6. Reward thankfulness. Recognize your child when they remember to say “thank you,” especially to a stranger. Tell them how proud or impressed you are with their behavior.

Daddy Nickell’s tips will help all parents teach their kids to be thankful on Thanksgiving and beyond! Use them to ensure that your kids make giving thanks a part of their daily life.
Author: Robert Nickell (a.k.a. Daddy Nickell), father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents. Daddy Nickell is the founder of DaddyScrubs.com, delivery room duds, gifts, and apparel for dads, and the Daddyscrubs.com blog, where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

About Daddy Nickell
For his blog, Nickell writes from a father’s perspective on topics such as bonding with your child and what the father should expect during pregnancy and infancy. Daddy Nickell also contributes his parenting expertise to national talk shows and daytime television shows. He has been featured on “Good Morning L.A.,” “Good Morning Texas,” “Daytime TV” ABC15 Phoenix, MSNBC, WZZM 13, San Antonio Living, KSBI TV, and as a syndicated columnist for national newspapers, parenting magazines and websites including Baby Couture Magazine, Oh Baby! Magazine, City Parent Magazine, The Bump, Parenthood, and Homeschooling Parent.

You can also see DaddyScrubs on YouTube, like them on Facebook, and follow them on Twitter (@DaddyScrubs) and Pinterest!

The TRUE Opposite of Boldness

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Hannah

 

In the Bible, there’s a passage that used to bumfuzzle me.  When I was much younger, I even wanted to ask my preacher about it.  I didn’t because I didn’t want to seem, at best, a simple little dummy or, at worst, a Hell-bound little heathen. I’m certain I’m neither, so I just decided to figure it out for myself.

The passage basically says that it’s better to be cold or hot than to be lukewarm. To my young mind, I was certain the Bible had gotten it twisted. After all, wouldn’t it be better to be at least a little warm than to be altogether cold?  Time and life experience have taught me that, OF COURSE, the Bible was right.

When I came home from the store this morning, one of our outside cats (Hannah – pictured above, showing off her beautiful markings) was standing in the middle of the driveway.  Naturally, I had to wait (while finishing off my breakfast sandwich and black coffee from Burger King) as she decided which way she intended to go – toward her favorite patio chair on the carport or toward a sunny spot in the yard with her name on it.  It didn’t take long (I timed it right around two bites and four sips) for her to realize her chair just didn’t look quite right without her.

Hannah, in the middle of the driveway, is like a lukewarm person.  You almost want to yell, “Pick a side!”  But I never yell at cats, so that’s out.

It sort of comes down to two things:

  • If we’re right, we should always stand up for our beliefs. Head up, chest out, feet firm. Move us if you dare.
  • If we’re wrong, we should always stand up for our beliefs. Head up, chest out, feet firm. Move us if you dare.

Someone once told me they “hated” certain men and women who go door to door with little books.  Although I don’t personally agree with their literature, I have no ill-will toward them.  In fact, many years ago I invited a few of these women into my living room for what turned out to be a very interesting conversation. When I told them I wasn’t interested in reading their little books, one of them (the lead, I presume) asked if I’d listen to her for a few minutes. I told her I would if she’d return the favor. We talked and debated for 45 minutes.   The lead did all of their talking -with the younger woman looking back and forth between both of us.   The older lady had a huge Russian-style hat on and at one point I told her that a certain point I was making was as obvious as the hat on her head.   The younger woman burst out laughing. They retreated. My daughters applauded. I bowed.

I don’t hate these people. Far from it. In fact, can I let you in on a little secret? I admire their conviction, their determination, and.. yes… their bravery.

What if those of us who have strong convictions of our own…..

  • Fighting child abuse
  • Trying to end childhood diseases
  • Protecting wildlife
  • Believing that prayer, the Bible, and the Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag should have NEVER been taken out of schools

….. were just as determined, passionate, and brave?  What if we didn’t stand in the middle of the road – afraid to say what we really think (not giving two shakes about what people would think) but picked our side and defied an army to move us?!  Then the noisy, misguided minority would never win another battle.

Don’t quote me on an school exam, but meekness is not the opposite of boldness.  Middle-ness is.  As Charles Krauthammer said,  Middleness is the very enemy of the bold.

Below are some of my favorite quotes about standing up for what you believe in, whether it’s a political hot topic or a favorite patio chair.

When something important is going on, silence is a lie. – A.M. Rosenthal

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides. – Margaret Thatcher

A man’s judgment is best when he can forget himself and any reputation he may have acquired and can concentrate wholly on making the right decisions. – Adm. Raymond A. Spruance

You can lean over backward so far that you fall flat on your face. – Ben H. Bagdikian

He who turns the other cheek too far gets it in the neck. – H. Hert

The main discomfort in being a middle-of-the-roader is that you get sideswiped by partisans going in both directions. – Sydney J. Harris

You’ve got to stand for somethin’ or you’re gonna fall for anything. – John Mellencamp

A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be.  Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice. – Thomas Paine

He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own. – Aesop

It’s important that people should know what you stand for.  It’s equally important that they know what you won’t stand for. – Mary H. Waldrip

Learn to say no. It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin.  – Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Compromise makes a good umbrella, but a poor roof. – James Russell Lowell

A good resolution is like an old horse which is often saddled but rarely ridden. – Mexican Proverb

Never give in – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – except to convictions of honor and good sense. – Winston Churchill

In Praise (High Praise) of Slowing Down

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Jelly Bean, a sweet and beautiful black cat.
Over the past two weeks, I’ve been reminded of the importance of slowing down and giving your entire attention and focus to what’s at hand. I’ve also become a HUGE fan of checking and double-checking, even when you’re 99.9 percent certain there’s no need to check even once. Doing so probably saved a very sweet cat’s life.

First off, let’s get something straight, I’m not a “go slow and be cautious” kind of gal. I’m a card-carrying “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of gal.  The kind who walks fast, talks fast, types fast, and challenges everyone and everything to keep up.  So, slowing down and scrutinizing details doesn’t come natural to me.  However, after living with my husband (who’s typing fingers, walking shoes, and words never seem to be in much of a hurry) for going on 28 years, I’ve picked up some of his country boy ways.

Slow down. Pay attention to what you’re doing. Check and double-check.

Sometimes when we’re in a parking lot and he grabs my hand in an effort to slow me down, I want to kick him in the seat of his pants. But I’d have to walk backwards to catch him.  I thought about his effect on me in this regard a few days ago and the last thing I wanted to do was kick him.  I realized I owed such a debt to him that the feeling of relief has yet to fade away.

At the risk of rambling (Who? Me?), I have to set the stage.  We live in a rural area that happens to be behind a gate (the gate’s probably a 1/2 a mile from our house).  From the window in front of my computer desk, I can see the gate, so I know when someone’s there. Usually the UPS man leaves our packages in a certain spot, but lately we’ve had a “fill in” that tends to turn around and take off.  Since we’ve got packages coming regularly for Christmas, I’m keeping a keen eye out.

The day before yesterday, I saw the UPS man pull up to the gate and ran out the door in my house shoes and jumped in my vehicle to go stop him from getting away.

As you probably know, we have 4 cats (3 outside and 1 inside).  It’s been chilly, so the outside cats have been staying in their various cat houses or even in the garage.  Even when they do occasionally get under the vehicles, they sprint out as soon as a door’s opened.

As I threw myself into the driver’s seat, I took a quick mental inventory of where I’d seen my cats (just minutes ago).  The two girls were in sight, by the carport door and I was 99 percent sure the sweet boy cat (Jelly Bean) was still in his favorite cat house, where I’d seen him only about 10 minutes ago.  As I saw the UPS man beginnng to swing around, I thought, “I’m just going to double check…” and I hopped out, got on all fours and looked under the vehicle.  Sure enough, there was my chubby, solid black, much beloved Jelly Bean SOUND asleep – right behind a front tire.  He didn’t even wake up when I called his name.

One of those nights, I guess.

I lured him out and took off for the UPS man, ironically enough, thinking, “Slow down for crying out loud! What’s your freakin’ hurry?”

I’ve been thinking a lot since then.  If I had ran over my sweet chubby faced cat that day I’m not sure I would have ever recovered.  My vehicle is a big heavy thing and he would have, undoubtedly, been killed.  I cannot even imagine the feelings I would have had if the unthinkable had happened.  It’d take another animal lover to understand when I say that it’s something I would have lived with forever.  Jelly Bean was a feral kitten that I won over with endless patience and even more love.  In the picture above (in his thinner days!), I was as close as I could get to him. He’s now a big baby who trust me completely. He purrs loudly as soon as I even look at him.  Such a sweetheart.

Thanks be to God – and to the influence of country boys who refuse to get in a hurry about anything – the scenario ended with one caught UPS man, two delivered packages, one relived cat mom, and (most importantly) one safe and unharmed black cat who isn’t so unlucky after all.  Can you even imagine the cat treats he got that day???

On a lesser… make that much lesser… level, I have also dropped the ball a couple of times lately.  I’m sure it’s because my mind is on Thanksgiving recipes, Christmas gifts, and cookies but I’ve made a couple of STUPID spelling errors and little goofs online lately.  Ironically, one was even a huge pet peeve of mine.  I forget the details (because they’re too horrifying to remember for someone who has always had a love affair with grammar) but I sent a tweet out in which I used “there” instead of “their.”  I happened to catch it several days later and was mortified.

Yes, silly to be mortified by such a thing, but I’m obsessive about things like that. Allowing myself to get in a hurry and not taking the time to slow down and double check led to a regret.  That almost always happens, doesn’t it?

This post is simply to serve as a reminder for everyone to take pains to slow down and double check what’s going on around you.  We live in a society that’s so fast-paced right now, it’s almost on hyper drive.  Think about it, people get ticked off if they have to wait in a drive through for more than 3 minutes!

I’m convinced a lot of grief could be spared if we just learned to slow down and live completely in the moment.  At worst we’ll spare ourselves embarrassment, at most we’ll save a life.